getting past fear

Hello,

I’m 56, and feeling really well, so imagine the confusion I felt when I went for a routine screening about three weeks ago, and the ‘eagle eyed’ nurse noticed the small dimple beneath my right nipple. I said yes I knew it was there and thought that would be the last of it, but no, I now find that it’s not only lumps odd nipples and rashes you should look for, dimples are nasty little things. I was really shocked as I had no idea and now I’m absolutely petrified, I have an appointment to see the consultant on Thursday, but can’t sleep or think of anything else, it’s like an obsession and I just can’t understand my reaction as I’m usually really calm and level headed. I’ve had lots of ‘things sent to try me’ things that most people would have crumbled under yet (with psychiatric help!) managed to hold it together, but this is something else I don’t know what to do and I really am so scared even though I have no idea what this dimple is and it may just be a sign of getting old - as I assumed it was when first noticed it - . does anyone know how to get past this fear?

Thanks

Mariloo

I also went for my routine mammogram in May of this year. I’m 53. I thought nothing of it, though it was only my second examination.

I was called back and had to go up to Lancaster for a biopsy.

I was still ok about everything because there is no history of BC in my family, so I knew I would be fine.

The biopsy showed micro calcifications in my left breast, something that would not have been detected without having the mammogram.

It’s now July. June 7th I had my Masytectomy and I’m now on Tamoxifen and I’m doing great. The calcifications were high grade DCIS - Ductal Carcinoma in Situ - so my only option was to have the mastectomy.

What I’m trying to say here is…please don’t worry, you will receive the best attention and will be quickly looked in to. Not all lumps, bumps, dimples are a sign of breast cancer…

The best help I received was from the Breast Cancer Care Unit. I phoned (free phone) and they really put my mind at rest. I spoke to another lady who had, had the same operation as me - 10 years ago - and she was a great help.

Take care
Linda xx

Hello Linda,

Thank you so much for taking the time to reply, it’s very kind of you. I will give the help line a call.

Thank you once again

Mariloo x

Hi Mariloo

My I firstly welcome you to the forums, I am sure you will find plenty of support and advice here.

I am sorry that you are feeling anxious and struggling to sleep, but these are normal feelings and often the waiting for appointments and results is the most difficult time.

As Linda has pointed out, Breast Cancer Care runs a confidential helpline and I have given the details here:

You can contact the helpline on 0808 800 6000 Monday - Friday, 9am - 5pm Saturday, 9am - 2pm

Everyone on our helpline either has experience of breast cancer or is a breast care nurse. The team comes from a variety of backgrounds, so you can talk to someone who has an understanding of the issues you are facing. The team is able to talk about both technical and emotional issues surrounding breast cancer and breast health.

I do hope you find this service useful.

Kind regards.

Sam

Moderator
Breast Cancer Care

Hi

I was diagnosed 7days ago, I am 34yrs old. You will find that there are many questions that others can’t answer, but I have found that this site has given me that little extra help - it is true what they say “its good to talk”.
My last 7days have been such a rollercoaster I to have had sleeples nights, I have also lost 10lbs in weight!
I was advisd by a member of this forum that I would start to feel a little more poisitve once I knew what I was dealing with (did not believe) but after my results yesterday I DO!!! I want to beat this - scared witless but I want to survive!
Keep chatting to others & stay strong. We are all here to help…
Let me know how you are getting on.
sending you cyber hugs and strength.

xMelx

Mariloo - welcome but sorry you are here at the same time. Everything you say is perfectly normal to feel and it is the waiting that really gets to one. You don’t say if you have had a mammogram or ultrasound yet? It is such an insidious disease - I have now had it twice in the same breast and each time it has been found I have been feeling very well. I am now 68 and the first time I was diagnosed was 17 years ago. Ask your doctor for some sleeping pills to get you through - and lets hope it is turns out to be a false alarm. Am thinking of you and send you a big hug.

Hello Sam, Mel and Olivia,

Thank you for your kind thoughts, yes it is good to talk, I was really at the end of my tether until I found this site now I don’t feel so alone, in fact it makes me feel quite humble; everyone else seems so brave.

I did have a mammogram, but have yet to get results, maybe they’re waiting until I see the consultant on Thursday to tell me what they showed, I don’t know how these things work.

Thank you all once again for taking the time to speak to me.

Love mariloo x

Hi mariloo,

Believe me you are not alone! And I am feeling more and more comforted to know I’m not either. Like you, I’ve had what I believed was more than my fair share of trials. particularly over the past couple of years, and coped almost effortlessly compared with the way I’m handling this! I didn’t do the sensible thing and get medical advice when I should have. I felt I was already coping with too much at once and I really didn’t want to add this to it, so I have my first appointment at the clinic on Monday, after being referred by my GP. One of the things I’m finding hardest to handle is the fact that I don’t recognise myself because I usually cope so well and, at the moment, I’m an insomniac who’s obsessing about this one thing! I have a rhesus negative blood group and have three children so that means LOADS of blood tests throughout pregnancy each time, so I don’t usually bat an eyelid if I need some sort of medical intervention, but THIS!!! I’m not just petrified of what the results might tell me, in fact, I almost think that whatever the results are it will be better to know one way or the other. I’m actually petrified of the appointmnet itself! Biopsy sounds horrific! Mammogram sounds uncomfortable, undignified and highly embarrassing. It’s like a viscious circle. Because I’m so scared, I worry that I might pass out with fear during the appointment. It’s just an extra worry to add to all the others! Then I read the comforting words from the beautiful, brave souls on this forum and feel that I’m just making a fuss.

My goodness, that turned into a bit of a rant! Sorry about that.

Anyway, mariloo, your phrase, “I don’t know how these things work” says it all. I feel like a “new girl” as well. It’s all so alien. Never thought it would happen to me. I’m sure that when we get further down the process it will be less scary. In the meantime, I’ll add my support to that of everyone else on the forum. We’re all here for each other and that’s something to be really grateful for.

Love,
beano