Getting pregnant after treatment and with advancing age.

Hi. I haven’t had a successful pregnancy (or even an unsuccessful one) since treatment. I am struggling with the fact that I have 2 beautiful boys from a previous relationship and that my husband doesn’t have any children of his own so that means we can’t get any fertility help in our area. I am 4 years post active treatment, and just turned 39. We have been trying constantly for the last 2 years now. Had blood tests which all came back fine. My husband had a sperm analysis that came back fine. Going to go back and see the doctor to see if they can do any more investigations with me to find out my egg quality. I was on Zoladex during chemo to try and protect my fertility. I couldn’t delay and go for egg harvesting as it was such an aggressive cancer. I really want a baby and I see the disappointment on my husband’s face each month I come on despite him trying to hide it. I feel like it is the cancer that has taken that chance away from us, I was 34 at diagnosis, and that I am broken and a failure for not being able to do this. Makes me wonder if I should cut him loose so he can go and find someone who can give him a baby instead if putting him through all this. He is nearly 9 years younger than me so maybe he stands a better chance if he were to find someone else.

I love him to bits but I can see how badly he wants a baby of his own. Feel so sad.