Since my hair started growing back in December, I continued wearing a hat until a couple of weeks ago and now go out with about 1cm of hair. I first went hat-less at the hospital as it was full of ladies in headscarves, hats, hardly-any-hair, no-hair etc so that was fine. Going round shops was ok, just the odd person stared. Going to get the kids from school was more difficult - I had to take a deep breath, consciously hold my head high and think if the kids don’t mind then I shouldn’t care what anyone else thinks.
However, I’m going to a dinner dance tomorrow night. My Dad really wanted me to go otherwise I wouldn’t be doing it. I have a nice new dress, new shoes etc but everytime today that I think about it, I’ve been in tears. I could wear a wig but would be hot, uncomfortable and self-conscious in it. Without a wig/hat, I just see a very unflatternig, unfeminine-looking head/hair. My dad, step-mum and two step-bros and partners will be there. This sounds silly but I don’t see my step-bros very often and their partners will be there (with their lovely long blonde hair) which makes me feel even more self-conscious about my own lack of hair.
Any words of wisdom from anyone? I know it will be fine in a couple of months but I find it hard to believe in what I can’t see now with my own eyes.
Nicola x
Hi Nicola,
I was at a similar stage to you a while back and went to a big do with my ‘commando’ look. a rather nice looking american chap came over to me and said he thought that ‘my hair do was rather cute and kind of erotic’ - so there you go!
honestly do what you feel comfortable with.
Enjoy the bash and have fun - love Swanie
Nicola
I would be proud to go to a Do with you. You are special! Concentrate solely on having a good time.
Jxx
Hiya Nicola
Obviously, it is important to your dad to have you there and he must be so proud of you. Slap on the make-up, the new dress, shoes etc. and hold your head high, you are a strong, amazing lady and having come through everything else, you can handle this. Take your time getting ready, have a relaxing bath, put on some music, have a glass of wine, find some serious bling and go and wow them. Your step-brothers and their partners will probably feel in awe of you (rightly so) and will be inspired by your confidence and strength. See this as your ‘back to life’ party and ENJOY! Take a deep breath and we’ll be holding your hand.
Huge hugs
Julie x
Hi Nicola
I posted a thread this morning on living with bc under “Scared to go back to work”. I too have a problem with my short crop, as its getting warmer my wooley hats are now getting a bit hot, not quite warm enough for scarfs and never been comfortable with my wig. My husband likes me commando but I,m really nervous about showing it off.
If I get a knock at the door I put a hat on before I answer it, Isnt that silly?
I was in Tescos yesterday with a wooley hat on, I was quite hot so was brave and took it off. Straight away I saw a couple of people glance and then look again. I thought I was going to have a panic attack as my heart was beating really fast so I put my hat on again. I would love to be brave like you. I think that I would still wear a wig for formal does, wigs are much more conspicious to the wearer than anyone else.
Best wishes to you and enjoy your night out
Love Andrea xx
Aw, thank you for your lovely helpful comments. I will re-read them tomorrow before I get ready and will remember your advice and support.
xx
Hiya Nicola
Let us know how you get on. Hope you have a fab time.
Julie x
Hi Nicola,
Just wanted to say hi and sorry you are in a bit of a spin. I would also like to say you look fab, your hair is lovely and you have a lovely face for short hair, in fact I cant imagine you with longer hair, honestly I wouldnt say this if it wasnt true. You do what you feel comfortable with but honestly you will look fab. Get the mascara on and a massive smile and you will be hot to trot. When we met I honestly wouldnt have known you had been a chemo chick, Ive got loads of friends with short hair and have been as short as you (I was thinner and had red hair too). and Hey who says blondes have more fun, I would love to have your hair colour.
Hope you have a lovely time, I know it may seem easy for me to say but honestly you will look lovely. Love Shonagh xx
Hi again,
Julie - yes, will report back! I will remember my cyber support if I get a bit wobbly about it.
Shonagh - thank you! Yep, I’ll slap on lots of slap and a big smile (for my Dad!) and to heck with what anyone else thinks. My Dad would be worried about me if I backed out now so I’ll do it for him!
It’s an early start - 6.15 for 7 so I better start getting ready mid-afternoon. It takes a while to achieve perfection, ha ha!
xx
Nicola
I started going commando about a month ago . I had my best friends wedding on 29th Feb and I too was in a dilemma but since I had never worn my wig I knew I too would feel self conscious in it. I had a lovely dress and just put my make up on, got dressed and went for it - I was told I looked stunning - I too would have preferred my hair a little longer but you just hold your head up high Nicola and enjoy yourself. You have nothing to hide - be proud!!
Lots of Love
Fiona
xxxx
Im sat here crying now, you should go out tonight and think positive, i didnt have much of a problem with my hair, i finished chemo 10 days ago (but have been on CMF for 12 weeks previously) so have about 1cm and have been going bold for about a month, didnt have much of a problem till yesterday when i might a friend of mine in town (who up to this point had been very supportive), and she commented that it was like being at a freak show with the amount of people who was staring at me, i was absolutely gutted!!! Just another thing i have to cry over. I have been so positive all through my chemo now its over i cry over everything, anyone else feel the same?
Hi Annamarie,
Funny enough I feel the same, finished chemo in Jan and finished rads 12 Feb. Sailed through my treatment with a very positive attitude but I think when you try and return to normal it suddenly hits you. Also being self concious about my very short hair, my scars and my weight gain does,nt help. You are very brave going commando, I must try and bite the bullet myself. My family tell me that I suit short hair but the thought of going out without a head covering sends me into a panic. It might be the shock of the past few months catching up with you, but its bound to get better in time.
lots lof love Andrea x
Hi Nicola,
Only an hour to go so dont know if you will see this or not. Have a fab time. thinking of you loads and Phil passes on his hello and also said he didnt even know you had lost your hair just thought you were a funky chic so there!!!
Have fun. Love Shonagh & Phil xx
I’m back! It went very well. I thought of your support and comments and walked in with big smile and held my head high!!! Lots of people complimented me and said how pleased they were to see me looking so well - which I do, considering all the treatment I’ve had of late. I even stayed until 11.30pm!!! I’m normally in bed at 9! It was a very nice meal and a very nice hotel so I was glad I went. Most important of all, it made my Dad’s evening to see me enjoying myself - he kept coming over to hold my hand and tell me how proud of me he was! Bless - I wasn’t really doing much, just turned up and smiled!!!
Thanks for your lovely comments - it made all the difference. I didn’t get upset yesterday unlike Friday. So, it’s onwards and upwards (downwards for my hair). Must go now and see if the Easter Bunny has brought me an egg 
Happy Easter everyone!
xx
Hi Nicola
Really glad you went and even more glad you enjoyed yourself and that you are glad you went. Definately onwards and upwards.
You take good care
Fiona
xx
Hi all
I finished chemo at the end of January, and have only 5 rads left.
I just wanted to ask you to google ’ GI Jane ’ and see how gorgeous Demi Moore looks.
I am trying to convince myself that I sort of look like that… well, the hair’s the same! I haven’t dared to bare it yet tho’.
Nicola - sounds like you had a fab evening - you did so well!!
Love to you all
Tracey x
Hi Nichola
Woohoo, well done you. So glad you had a good time and were the belle of the ball. The hard parts over now, it’s onwards and upwards. Bet your feeling really good now - and so you should.
Julie x