Gone but not forgotten!

Hi Ladies

I was diagnosed in July 2016 and had surgery the following month. Today I had to say goodbye to one of my breast cancer buddies who had surgery around the same time as me but I’m finding it really hard to deal with. I feel so guilty. She was such a wonderful lady who helped me through one of the most difficult times of my life. In my eyes she had everything - doting husband, and wonderful loving family.

I’ve been ‘strong’ for 2 years. I never really stopped work, just had the odd week off to recover from chemo and now feel that after saying goodbye, everything’s caught up with me. Is this normal? I feel like I’m drowning in my own self-pity but want nothing more than to be able to snap myself out of it.  Her husband and children are suffering more than me so why am I such a mess!!!

Just sending you a hug Rachel .Very sorry for the loss of your friend.I think most of the time we manage to put to the back of our minds that this disease can kill you - when someone close dies from BC it really makes you think of your own mortality - it’s very scary .You are allowed to feel scared and overwhelmed sometimes - it’s a normal part of the process of recovering from treatment .When you are in treatment you just put your head down and get on with it - it’s often only really someway down the line you stop and think " did that really happen to me " ??? Have you accessed some counselling - if not this may be the time to do so .Jill x

Hello Rachel, I’m so sorry to hear you have lost a dear friend.


I wanted to send you a reply because I to feel like I am drowning in self pity. I lost my brother to Cancer a couple of months ago. Since then my whole world is crashing around me. I can’t think straight don’t want to do/ go anywhere, just about dragging myself out of bed to go to work. I had BC in 2014 and like you have kept going throughout but this has finally broke me. He was younger than me and I feel so so sad he has gone.


I’m sorry I don’t have any answers at the moment ,but wanted you to know you’re not alone.


Sending you a big hug and lots of love.