Hi all, I had a lumpectomy about 9 weeks ago and after a ridiculous wait for oncotype score, I’m now booked in for radiotherapy. This is my first post here and it was initially going to be about the frustrations and anxiety of cancer diagnosis and treatment. However, instead, I wanted to share something positive to come out of all this and wondered if anyone else has felt it too?
I’m 54 and over the last 13 years have been a single parent to 2 boys. I work full time. During those years both boys had significant, long term illnesses (thankfully better now). I’ve been made redundant, and my lovely dad died.
I developed a tremor and insomnia and for the last few years have been so tired that i found it very difficult to maintain friendships. I’d literally work, eat, tidy and go to bed each day.
The anxiety of my cancer diagnosis was off the charts and I stopped work straight away. However, over the last few months, having that time off work has allowed me to recognise my stress, or burnout, and concentrate on mental rest and recovery. Yes, waiting for surgery and results has been unbelievably stressful but having the time to concentrate on my own recovery has felt like a blessing at times.
Is this a weird take on things? (Probably!)
PS my tremor is getting better and I’m using CBT to address my sleep. It’s definitely improving. Lots of love and strength to all xxxx
@pilotbex Not weird at all! I’m a firm believer in things happening for a reason and that often good can come from bad, if you are open enough to allow this.
About 10-12 or so years ago my lovely husband had a breakdown. He was in a very responsible, stressful job. He was seen by a Community Psychiatric nurse and one of the first things she said was ‘you won’t believe me now but this is the best thing could have happened to you’. Well she was absolutely right! He had 11 months off work, then returned in a different role, and retired 2 years later. He did quite a lot of mindfulness online etc.
Since then we just pootle about like a couple of loonies (he’s 66 now and I’m 64) spend a lot of time eating cake in cafes, going to the cinema, walking and looking after our grandaughter one day a week. He was forced to look at his life and to change it for the better. You now have an opportunity to do that for yourself, and you have the time to decide how you can do things differently. Apart from anything I don’t know how I’d have managed since I was diagnosed if he was still working!
Here’s a photo I took yesterday of him and our grandaughter. It brought tears to my eyes as it says everything about that’s good in our lives now.
Ahh Pat! Such wise words and what a beautiful photo. Pootling around like a pair of loonies is definitely where I want to be in life. Much love to you both xxx
I recognise the silver lining you describe. I am post surgery, pre radiotherapy for IDC and off work until the end of the year. Stress levels post initial disvovery and pre treatment plan (7 week process) were awful. But once a plan was in place and even more post surgery it has been a huge relief to focus on recovery. My job has been intense and I’ve managed 3 international moves, new schools etc over the last 5 years so a chance to breathe has been a huge relief.
My cancer is very hormone positive though so part of my thinking is that I’ll have hormone blockers and radiotherapy effects to come so I need to draw strength from the calm before any future storms.
I found with all the waiting for things to start, then going through everything,I have to just focus on each moment. It’s like force-fed mindfulness but I have found some relief in not being able to think too far ahead. It’s given me a quietness I didn’t know I needed.
Ah yes, we are in a similar boat! I’ve started radiotherapy now and it’s not bad at all. The worst bit is I’ve got a stinking cold and the last thing I want to do is hold my breath for 20 seconds at a time, trying not to cough! I’m an 8/8 for hormones too and on anastrozole. Seems to be fine at the moment. I’m struggling with the bisphosphonates so am having a week’s break from them before trying again. Big love to you and the next stage of your treatment xx
but I have found some relief in not being able to think too far ahead. It’s given me a quietness I didn’t know I needed.
x