Hi Gennie! i will find an accessorize on monday then! was thinking might make some myself i like the ethnic ones with twists around the bonce but their really expensive!
just kept thinking why is this happening? what is the reason for it all? and i thought everything that has ever happened to me has led me to help someone else.
Nikki
So glad to hear from you! Keep that fighting spirit up! I am loving the idea of the sponsored shave. You’ve just given me an idea for a sponsored thingamy.
Keep in touch.
Hey Carole! thank you! i like that word, thingamy! its so expressive!
got given a book called Mummys lump, so i could explain it all to my little ones, well one of them any way, youngest just tried to eat it. i was choking back the tears all the way thru, and when i closed it, he looked at me and said “oh mummy” and gave me a huge hug. it really helped him and me. highly recommended, its on of the publications from this website.
Will keep in touch now i got some energy again, thank you all for being so kind!
Nikki xxx
Nikki, you’re fabulous! Stay on the upside girl! It’s totally ok to feel down, and you can share every single black and bleak moment here and we’ll all know what you’re talking about. BUT, in the end, shove a great big monster crushing story in its face, and do a moonwalk backwards out of there.!!
C
just saw your ideas on the western! that has really cheered me up! cant moonwalk, but i can stiltwalk and do fire poi! x
Hey!!! got oncologist appointment on thursday!!! whoop!!!
oh, but i need to sleep now was up all last night worring myself sick over everything.
managed to find funky hat on BCC`s online shop, a pink one!!!
feeling positive, just gotta remember to write down questions…
now wheres me pen…
goodnight girlies, glad to see im not the only one with positive news too, good luck everybody!
holding hands and standing strong together!
we will beat this thing!
Nikki xxx
Hi Nikki
Sorry to hear of your diaz but welcome to this forum. I was diaz on 15th Dec but don’t know when my op will be. The hospital have said I have to have a lumpectomy with clear margins & first lymph node removed. I have to have blood tests etc Nex wed & then they will probably take me in asap. Prob is I live in Spain and this “illness” has removed all knowledge of the language so was petrified of what was happening but through this forum I am in contact with Susanna who has gone through all this & who lives not far from me & amazingly has the same Dr, how’s that for coincidence!!!
I think we all go through the same symtoms & feelings & sometimes you just get so sick of all the “normal” people telling you to stay strong be positive etc etc. Which you know you have to do anyway. So it is comforting to know others in the same boat. I never used to think when I saw all those people running for breast cancer & doing charity stuff that one day I would be there. I had cervical cancer when i was only 31 & had a hysterectomy but even though I was really scared it didn’t effect me as much as this is doing. Do you think it is because you can see your breasts where as cervical is hidden. Doesn’t seem fair getting it again!!! Magel x
Hey Nikki, how’d the onc appointment go?
Magel, I reckon you’re right. You can see them, feel them, can’t get away from them, so it’s scarier. What a bummer, getting it twice! Chin up. You got through once, you’ll get through again.
Hey Magel, i have to agree with Carole on that one, every time you cuddle someone or move you can feel the blasted thing and it brings it all up again! even looking at my bra in the morning brings a tear. i have always felt stongly about supporting BCC and bought badges, clothing and sponsored my friends who`ve done walk for life but because my mum and aunts had had benigne (apologies for spelling!) lumps, never thought id need the support and help myself!
Hay Carole, hows you today? Onc sent me for ecg and heart scan, vampires had all gone home so back tomorrow for bloods, then if that all ok i going to start TAC/FEC-T (depending on whats availiable at the time!!! EEEKKK!!!) on 5th feb, 6 cycles, with surgery somewhere in there for lumectomy and nodes, then rads (which hadnt been told before oh help 
) then 18 doses of herceptin. well thats me sorted for the next 18 months! its 4cm one way and 3.5 the other so she said its a beasty but we can defeat it! i being sponsored to shave my head on 4th feb, just gotta work out best way for everyone to pledge. can do it thru justgiving.something but they charge to sort money and most of my F&F are 200 miles away! got some lovely hats in town today, made me feel a bit more in control.
forgot to ask them about taking my “magic mushrooms” my chinese herbalist friend sent me, it appaerently can help the chemo kill it off and reduce side effects but they like to ok everything, but there was so much to take in i clean forgot! so thats me on the phone tommorro, oh joy.
anyway, thanks for messages, dont know what id do without all your support!
take care, Nikki xxx
I object! You got more letters in your chemo than me. Not fair. I only got E-CTF!
Don’t worry about the rad. My friend had it and she said it’s fine. You get tired towards the end, and it’s a pain in the bahookey having to traipse into hospital every day for however many weeks, but it’s not that bad. I’m getting 6 weeks of it from August.
well ill only get either TAC or FEC-T, but its essentially the same, just doxerubicin instead or epicrubicin in one of them. bloody silly names these toxic things have got! they said its normal after lumpectomy but no one had mentioned it before, just thing to add to the list! my friend is kniting me a funky hat with ear flaps, its windy up here on my hill in wales!
tac sounds like its sticky, prefer FEC-T, like father teds mate, “girls, drink, FEC!!”
oh well off to bubyes, try to sleep, got 2 toddler groups tommorrow, glutton for punishment, but boy do they sleep well!
night guys! xxx
Lol! Drink, drink! How I wish, but I’ve pledged off it till the chemo is done. So, you’re on a hill too? I’ve bought a big deep fleece beanie thing that comes right down to my chin, well my knees if I push it. Need something that stays on in the wind. Don’t want squirrels leaping on the old noggin thinking it’s a huge acorn! 
hi guys, start chemo on thurs, feels like months have gone by and still have months to go, but have a lovely wig and lots of hats and hair coming off on weds! been feeling really shattered and missed not popping online but got some good sleep thanks to the sleepy tabs. hope you are all well and managing to work out this very strange new system! Nikkixxx