im in such a state i cant pull myself together at all
it is b c
he said he dosnt think its in the armpit
nothing showed on mamogramme just scan
it is 11mm which sounds huge to me
he said stage 2,the most common sort and treatable,i suppose depending if they find anything else
wait now for mri which sounds very scary, ive never been in hospital in my life
then surgery
then radiotherepy,chemo if needed and drugs
i cant take it all in, i just keep looking at my son and crying
i know i should be positive but im not
im convinced the mri will give me 6 mths!
calm down, I was diagnosed 1st June, mine was grade 2, 15mm which is small compared to some, got a wle on 4th June, lymph nodes clear, back in 25th June for a wee clear up operation, started tamoxifin and start rads next month.
I know you are scared, I was too but somehow you get through it.
Try not to panic[easier said than done!]11mm is actually very small-anything under 2cm is small-honestly.Grade2 just means it is not the most aggressive Grade3 or the least Grade1.I wouldnt worry about the mri-it is just a precaution.
Now deep breaths and why not ring the BCC helpline where you can talk to a professional who will be able to answer your most urgent queries.
Just enjoy your son-I am sure you will have many more years with him.
Love Valxx
Hi,
So sorry you have had to join us!
Big hugs for you
(((((((((((((((hug))))))))))))))))))
Try not to panic re time scales.
BC is not an automatic death sentence,and it sounds like yours is very treatable.11mm is tiny,many ladies have lumps of several cms!
I am a year down the line following mastectomy/recon/tamoxifen and still here and intend to be here till I get old and wrinkly.
I haven’t had Chemo so cannot comment but the girls here seem to agree its not pleasant but doable! I may be facing radiotherapy after a lump was found a couple of weeks ago (turns out it was left over from last years mastectomy.)So I might have that to look forward to!
When you get your plan for surgery etc things get easier as you have steps to take.The MRI isn’t too scarey,I can give more details later when you are ready to take them in.Its a great tool and will definitely show if there are any other problems lurking,just to be sure.
Take care,
Love n hugs
Dot
xxx
So sorry you have to join us. It’s natural to panic and think that’s it, game over. I also couldn’t look at my children without crying at first.
Once you know what the treatment plan is everything becomes calmer and you’ll find you will settle down. I was diagnosed back in December - also a node negative grade 2 lump, but mine was 35mm so yours is a tiddler in comparison!
I had a lumpectomy and axillary clearance first and I’ve just finished 6 months of chemo (today in fact!). I have 3 weeks of radiotherapy to come and then hormone treatment but my prognosis is very positive and from what you’ve said with a relatively small, node negative beastie yours will be too.
thankyou
you are all so lovely
it is just a bit of a shock
everything is happening so quick
this is all going to start happening just as my son starts school for the 1st time in september
i so wanted him to settle in well etc but this wont do him any good
i told my mum today and she is in bits of course but said she would help all she can and ive told one friend
i will ask loads of questions if i may as time goes on
i thought my heart was going to explode just sat in waiting room today lol
would i get the results of the mri there and then?
he said drugs or chemo before operation wouldnt be beneficial to me
i said i wanted him to take them both off so it cant come back and he said i was way ahead of myself lol
think thats all our gut reaction to get them both off but its not the answer.
today will be your worst day, getting your head round everything, I have 2 boys and they have been fantastic through all of this, they are older than your little one, you need to get through this for your son and you will be the proud mum at the gate on his first day at school.
Try and take a deep breath,You are at the worst stage right now.In limbo until you get your MRI and a definite treatment plan.
I doubt you will get MRI results the same day as they do take time to interpret.
Your wee boy will keep you going,unfortunately young mums have no choice but to get on with it as children will still need some normality.Children are notoriously resilient and accept change readily at that age.You can warn the school so they are ready for any problems.
You also have your Mum and every girl needs her Mum at this time.Sadly mine passed away in 2003 and I have never missed her so much as when I was diagnosed.
Get as many friends around you as you can,you may find some find it hard and don’t know what to say.Let them offer help,babysitting ,shopping or just for company.
Above all,don’t be hard on yourself you have just had a massive shock.But ,do you know what…you can do this! I promise!
More love n hugs,
Dot
xx
So very sorry you have not had good news. There are a lot of younger ladies with small children on the Forum who will help you through this with their support. Just wish I was there to give you a hug but I am sure your mum and you little boy will be able to do that. I know it can feel like the end of the world right now but you will find the strength to fight this.
You might be surprised by how well your son takes it all actually. I have a daughter who was just 9 when I was diagnosed and she has found it difficult in that she doesn’t like to see me have chemo (I have it at home) and she does worry about me, but she’s been fine at school etc and seems to be relatively unscathed by it all.
I also have twin boys who were 6 1/2 when I was diagnosed. They have barely registered it at all, completely unbothered so long as I’m there to look after them and cook tea that’s their only concern! Today they both sat beside me while I had the chemo, and other than asking the nurse a few questions they were completely unfazed. I even wonder if they’ll remember much about this (other maybe that mummy lost her hair) when they are older so little does it seem to have affected them.
The hospital gave me a book called Mummy’s Lump which is aimed at explaining things to younger children - ask your breast care nurse if they can get you a copy, I did find it helpful.
Just want to add my support. Your response is quite natural after the horrible waiting period. I was dx in May, stage 2, grade 2, 18mm. Had a lumpectomy, wide local excision, sentinel node biopsy and am now having radiotherapy and am on tamoxifen. Please try not to worry - you will get through this and I am sure the outlook will be very good for you. 11mm is tiny and if there is no node involvement you may not need to have chemo. I am not having chemo though I am over 50 so don’t know if that makes a difference. It is really ok once you know what’s happening.
alex
xxx
Just want to add my support and sympathy for your diagnosis. I know it is so hard to think straight but what all the above were saying is right. It does sort itself out when you know what plan you are on. I had WLE, mastectomy, Sentinel nodes (clear) and now on Tamoxifen. I had just become a grandparent at the time too.
Strategies: Get yourself some good solid strategies like; when your sitting stressing and cant think rationally then get up and do something. I found walking was great - take your child for a walk or if on your own have an mp3 with some good music or an audio book to make you feel good. Your mind cannot be in two places at once so divert it to something else. The other thing is when you have your health plan organise yourself - planning takes time and concentration - another diversion - look at your diet and see if you can change things, bake more or become a researcher of recipes. Whatever you can find to occupy yourself - I have found cooking has been a real diversion at times, also gardening and reading. When I panic I ring someone for a chat and end up laughing my head off! I walk quite a way and listen to stories and often am found laughing along the road!!! Stephen Fry is so funny. All this gives you a relief period so that when you do have to think about things the panic is not there and you can think more calmly.
Please just take one step at a time and come back to this site for the ladies to give some good advice.
you are not on your own we are all here and ready to help. You can also lean on your mum as thats what they are for at these times.
Good luck.
I just want to add my support to the others. We all have the same reaction at first and why not. It is a big shock. It sounds as though you have calmed down a bit already though. The ladies here have all offered good advice and I’m sure you’ll get lots more at each stage. I certainly have.
I also want to reassure you about the size of your tumour. Size really doesn’t matter much. The aim of your treatment will be to erradicate it regardless of the size. Mine was over 12cm at diagnosis, which is unusual, but I’m still hopefull once my treatment has finished there’ll be none left. Take each step at a time and it is very manageable. I won’t lie, we all have bad days, like DaisyDo says it helps to have strategies. If you are used to being very independent you will find it hard to ask for help but most people give it willingly. Be easy on yourself and accept it when offered.
Best wishes and ask as many questions as you like. There’s usually someone on this site who can answer.
what your feeling is a natural reaction and one that pretty much all of us have gone through… imagining everything from them having made a mistake to not being here by christmas… in reality its not a mistake and you will be here for many christmases.
11mm is less than half an inch so is very small considering some people are diagnosed with 2 inch tumours… grade 2 is also quite positive as its not the most aggressive type.
i have had a grade 1 and grade 3 tumour and currently having chemo… you do have up days and down days but with time it does get easier… the no-mans land of waiting is the worst time i found… even worse than knowing is not knowing.
just wanted to add my support - was thinking of you today and hoping for the best. As every one has said it is tiny and if it hasn’t gone to any lymph nodes then that’s nice and simple. Of course it’s scary at first and the news is a shock but you’ll be surprised at just how resilient you can be -especially as a mum - you’ll be strong for your son. This will feel less scary once you know clear facts,then you can get on with getting better. Wishing you strength and love x
the friend i told has suggested i tell the people round me today and get it over with.
i dont have close friends here more people i meet up with for ryan to play and we have coffee
thing is i dont want people patting me and saying how are you today as i will just cry and i cant keep letting my son see that
i have spoke to mum on the phone but havnt seen her,it was traumatic enough on the phone
you are all right i need this mri so i can know in my head what else(if there is) i have to deal with
thankyou againx
Don’t think you are alone in feeling like crying when telling others, I have had my surgery and am on Femara awaiting to start rads in just over a week and when I bumped into a neighbour I hadn’t seen for a while when I told her I had an enormous lump in my throat and tears in my eyes. I am a grandmother so obviously a lot older than you but there will always be times when our bladder is too near our eyes and the big C word is terribly scary no matter what age you are.
You will be amazed by how caring and kind people can be I got all the girls at work together and told them as I didn’t want them finding out through the magic grapevine. Got all the tears and snot over in one go and they have been amazing.
I hope you manage to get a good sleep tonight and will be behind you all the way. If you want my e-mail address so that you can scream, shout or vent whatever emotions you may feel just let me know.
X Irene.
I am waiting for results, but on ultrasound, it is pretty clear it will be C. Mother died of it 30 years ago. I alternate between feeling like throwing up, crying when I look at my grandchildren (had to take their pictures off my computer screen), and an occasional deep sense of calm. Very, very bizarre. It helps that my aunt had BC 40 years ago, lived normal life; my sister in law had double mastectomy 30 years ago, still going strong; my best friend had prostate cancer 7 years ago and then throat cancer 2 years ago and is doing well and he assures me that after awhile, you don’t think about it every single moment. The worst part is the effect on children, husband, you have spent your life trying to care for them and spare them unnecessary pain and this just sucks for them horribly. Especially since for some reasons, the media and just about everybody seems to treat “C” as a death sentence. I don’t even like the word “survivor” I like “thrivership” better. Hopefully, I will be a thriver once I get a treatment plan and get going. You will too!
I could have written your post 5 years ago! My daughter was finishing primary and starting high school and all I could do was look at her and cry. Its very normal to feel this way. 5 years on I’m very well and we’re waiting for GCSE results! You will move forward I promise you xxx
Do you have anyone with you this afternoon…?