I’m still waiting to learn more. It’s kind of coming in dribs and drabs. The pathology report for the biopsy on Wednesday says 3cm mass, suspected grade 2 IDC. The lymph node that was removed doesn’t show anything.
They recommend an MRI of the breast, but I’ve had these nodules in my lung a long time (possibly from Valley Fever scars). But I’m still scared it’s something to do with the lungs. I’m kind of at a point where I just want to be checked with a fine tooth comb so to speak.
I’m trying to tell myself I’m just being paranoid. My anxiety is through the roof. My godmother and the ladies from church helped me find doctors to trust and that I feel good about, but I’m still on edge. I know doctors aren’t fortune tellers, and maybe everyone did the best they could, but the fear I won’t fight enough to get this taken care of or something will be overlooked keeping me up at night.
I’m hoping the lymph node being normal means something. I still don’t know all the things about the hormones, etc. So, I’m still waiting for either the surgeon on Tuesday or the oncologist on Thursday.
In the mix, my daughter also has a ultrasound Monday and MRI Thursday, herself (she’s a teenager, her lump is abdominal). I’m worried about her, too. She hasn’t had anymore abdominal pain enough to warrant an ER visit, so hoping it was just some weird cyst or endometriosis or something even in her GI. I’ve been trying to keep us both on low sugar diets w/ lots of fresh fruit/veggies and I have her drinking “healthy cycle tea” every day / taking a multivitamin.
She was joking with me the other night saying “we can be cancer buddies, Mom” and I’m thinking No. Please no.
Hi
This state of heightened anxiety is normal but not good for you, particularly as you are in the waiting phase. Everything you write points to a good outcome. The problem is, we just don’t take in what the oncologist says at the time.
No lymph node involvement is, to me, the key. It means it is highly unlikely that any malignant cells have broken away and spread elsewhere so hopefully that reassures you. By the way, this is not a fight. The outcome is not down to you and how ‘strong and ‘positive’ you are. These are myths. It’s all down to trust in your team and the treatments you have so don’t ever feel that anxiety and what you call paranoia are a weakness. They’re a natural response to having your sense of safety whipped from under you!
What I’d like to say is that we are all different. You have a lot of support but also a lot of anxiety. Sometimes it doesn’t benefit people to know every detail of their cancer because, although they my feel more in control, they are less likely to feel safe in the hands of their team. Trust is important. And it’s dangerous to start Googling - most information is outdated and irrelevant as each diagnosis is unique. So if you can, keep away from statistics and suggest that people who want to help don’t feed you with such information. Right now, only histology/pathology and possibly your oncology team know most of the details, not some team from some university researching a tiny sample (which is often the case) nd certainly not any well-intentioned relative.
The MRI is a powerful diagnostic tool. It also provides a baseline against which they can assess the impact of any treatment. It’s noisy rather than scary (I’m having my second this year next week) so do it. If it terrifies you (I’m claustrophobic) ask your doctor to prescribe something to gently sedate you (I take 1.5mg lorazepam).
Meantime, why not work on that anxiety. I’m a great believer in the Progressive Hypnosis meditation videos on Youtube. They’ve seen me through my primary treatment and now my secondary and I’m coping very well. I’m also defying the statistics but that must be the treatment! It’s something you and your daughter might do together every day? I’m off to do my daily meditation now.
Wishing you all the best x
Breast cancer will never be good news and it is never a blessing. However, there are things that can come with it that signal a good prognosis. Thus far you’ve been given two of those things (grade and node invasion). Jaybro as always gives excellent advice on how to manage so I’ll leave off at that. Thinking about you though and hoping your daughter is cleared soon so you can focus completely on your own healing.