Hi All You brave and so gutsy ladies, read my profile its much quicker than going all through my history. I have had mastectomy, prophalytic mastectomy with reconstruction which I am very pleased with. But there will never be complete satisfaction with my breasts and nipples ever although I am so grateful for these operations that made me feel feminine still. And it could be so much worse as with some of our friends on this site and they would think; “Be Bloody grateful thats all you have to worry about!” The problem I feel is that there is not enough aftercare.Once you are given the all clear after 5 yrs thats it. And we all know there is no such thing as the all clear. You physically and emotionally sink or swim. And one of the things that keeps me anchored is the knowledge that I can come back to this site.
I don’t think that any of us will be the same person as before but we must try for our partners and families. x x
Ruthine, life events shape us all the time, normal is what it is. Can you access some counselling type help from your BCN? I have. Trying to strive for a “normal” that was before events will drive you crazy, you have had so much going on it will change you. Find out who you are now sort out what is important, stop fretting about those things you can’t do anything about. Lots easier said than done I know, be kind to yourself, it all takes time. This life of ours is a big adventure, and every twist and turn moulds us, try to get some pleasure from each day.
Thankyou for your reply Pattymi, not really into the counselling thing, maybe someone who has been through a simular experience otherwise they don’t really get it. But even so I try to remain positive and think there are thousands of people worse off than me.
Thanks.
Ruthine x
Hi Ruthine, have you got a bcc volunteer? They match you with someone who is in or has been through a similar situation - you can access this through the bcc helpline. I know exactly what you mean, by the way. xx
I thought it might be helpful to post a link to information about BCC’s One to One Support Service, as mentioned above:
breastcancercare.org.uk/about-us/our-services/someone-to-talk-to/one-to-one-support/
With best wishes,
Anna, BCC Facilitator
Hi Ruthine,
I had a double Mx with recon nearly 12 weeks ago. I am still getting used to my new, rather different boobies. I’m looking at them being my new best friends, after all they are going to be part of me for the next 48 years. I was perfectly happy with the old ones but viewed them as time-bombs which would have more than likely let me down again. I found writing down the pros and cons of keeping the old ones helpful and similarly the pros and cons of these new ones. For me, the cons of the new are far outnumbered by the pros. The scars are there but I know they’ll fade and in a year I’ll not notice them. I’m so relieved to have made this decision and know I’m a much stronger person now. Having had breast cancer has brought a lot of positives into my life, far more than negatives. The biggest difference is that I have more patience and empathy than before and have learnt an enormous lesson. It makes you put things in perspective and to value the little things that cost nothing, such as just spending time with the people I love and just being. Mindfulness is a wonderful thing and the only constant in life is change. Oooh, I’m not normally this deep, see another change!
Good luck on your travels through life
Nicky x
I don’t think there’s enough support for us either. At first you’re surrounded and then we’re just left to cope with it. I’m five years down the line and feel worse now in many ways than when I was first diagnosed. To be honest it was a relief to be diagnosed as I’d been back and forth to the hospital for a year and all my tests came back clear. Eventually they decided to remove a ‘polyp’ which actually showed I had two types of breast cancer. Ended up having a mastectomy and can’t help wondering if I’d needed that if it’d been discovered when I first went. Try not to dwell on it but can’t help it sometimes.
hello , ime just starting on my journey of chemo , ive had my mastectomy 4 weeks ago and i can honestly say i try so hard but the tears still dont stop ,i live alone and when my family call, my happy face has to stay on , but when your alone its a different story , big hugs jackie xxx
Oh Italia03,
Life sometimes is just C**P, keep posting and talking, because it’s amazing how much better you feel, there are so many people willing to help on here, the kindness is fantastic. There are so many stages, worries, fears, it seems never ending and there is always someone with a similar experience that can reassure you, so take care big big hugs xx