Hi there everyone,
have been on these forums since 2003 and found them so helpful. if you read my profile u will c why i am so emotional. Finding it hard at the mo as I looked efter my mum with the help of my sister. Mum after getting bc for the second time descended into severe clinical depression and became a different person basically a lost soul who we did not recognise. Then after seeing how she was basically doped up at the nursing home I brought her to her home and looked after her for nearly five weeka,five hard weeks when she was not of her own mind which i put down to the cancer spreading through her body.She died .,seeing her children in front of her in her own home celebrating her life. Was she aware of what was happening? We do not know, all i know is that she looked so peaceful.Mum,wherever you are we love you so much x x x

Hello Ruthine58,

On behalf of the moderation team here at BCC please accept our sincere condolences on the loss of your mum.

I am pleased that you found using the forums helpful while you were caring for your mum and if you need to talk to someone in the future about what you have gone through then please do use the helpline, they are here to support you.

Take care, kind regards,
Jo, Facilitator

My sincere condolences to you and your family I too lost my mum to cancer albeit ovarian and my father to prostate in Sept and Nov 2005.
It is very very hard to watch them fade away but take some solace as I did that you were there for her when it mattered most …she knows that much love Mazxxxxxxxxxxx

Really sorry that you lost your mum, and your Dad too. Thank you for replying Maz x

Thank you Jo, not really sure about using counsellors if thats what you mean but thank you. x


just wanted to say so sorry you lost your mum to this disease and the sad circumstances of her last weeks. it must be hard for all of your family but especially you. you will at the moment dwell on the most recent events but the happy memories of your mum will start to come and they will bless you. right now you need to be kind to yourself and live each moment at a time.

take care,



ps i think the bc mod. is just offering you someone to talk to not necessarily formal counselling.

Hi Ruthine
just wanted to say how sorry I am that you have lost your mum, and that the memories you have with your mum and the knowledge that you did everything you possibly could to ensure that at the end of her life, she knew that she was loved will ease the pain, one day soon. I know this because 2 years ago, like you, I cared for my mum with my siblings up to her death and we are able to remember her with a smile. I hope you can soon start smiling and that you are able to remember how precious life is, and live it to the full.
take care, love

A very belated thankyou daisyleaf x]x