Hi Everybody
Have’nt posted for a while but need to offload to people who understand. Like many of you I changed my career after i was first dx. I had a very successful career in IT well paid, company car etc etc but I couldnt cope after my first dx so left. I retrained as a Youth worker and felt I was doing something really worthwhile. Got a FT job then got dx a second time (still feel its all connected to stress), luckily as I work in the public sector I was able to transfer to a PT job 18 mths ago. But now I am feeling really depressed, I feel that my career has gone down the pan because of my BC and I am feeling resentful and full of self pity!!! I know I should be glad and you know everyone says you have to try and get back to normal but I will never be able to go back to my normal.
Sorry for sounding so pathetic but I cant talk to anyone else as no-one understands where I am coming from.
For all of you who are just starting out on all this please dont let my post put you off from retraining or starting afresh I am just having a blip!
Thanks
Ginger
Hi ginger
I’m sorry to read that you are having such a difficult time and I’m sure many of the other users will completely understand where you are coming from, I thought you may also find of interest Breast Cancer Care’s peer support service, our Peer Support telephone service aims to quickly put you in touch with one of our trained peer supporters, who has had a personal experience of breast cancer. Our peer supporters are from diverse backgrounds and ages and have experienced different types of breast cancer and treatments. They are ready to listen, offer skilled emotional support and share their experiences and understanding For more information about this and our other support services available to you, please telephone our helpline on 0808 800 6000 (Mon-Fri 9am-5pm and Sat 9am-2pm) or email: <script type=“text/javascript”>eval(unescape(‘%64%6f%63%75%6d%65%6e%74%2e%77%72%69%74%65%28%27%3c%61%20%68%72%65%66%3d%22%6d%61%69%6c%74%6f%3a%69%6e%66%6f%40%62%72%65%61%73%74%63%61%6e%63%65%72%63%61%72%65%2e%6f%72%67%2e%75%6b%22%3e%69%6e%66%6f%40%62%72%65%61%73%74%63%61%6e%63%65%72%63%61%72%65%2e%6f%72%67%2e%75%6b%3c%2f%61%3e%27%29%3b’))</script>
Best wishes
Katie
Hi Ginger
I can’t offer you words of wisdom, but can really empathise with you as I am about to go through the same thing. Had a very good job, started in November and it involved loads of travelling and very stressful. I now know that I will be unable to do this again, at least not for a while as I am way too tired. I too think BC has big links to stress as before diagnosis, I felt awful to be honest and now I feel far more refreshed even having had surgery and radiotherapy. I didnt have chemo, so I guess that would be different had I done. Anyway, I am at my wit’s end what to do. I keep trying to convince myself that I want a “little” job with no stress, but I know I would hate that. We also need the money unless we make major changes to our lives which I think would be more stressful - you can’t win!! What is it about your current job situation that makes you depressed? Is it because it is only part time or is it the work itself isn’t for you? I think if its just the part time issue, you will be able to gradually progress back to full time. I know full well I couldnt possibly do full time at the moment or I would be in the mortuary!! However, if its the type of work, what about going back to IT part time - is that possible. I think like all big problems you need to break them down into little bits to see what exactly is the problem. Hope this helps, Cathyxx
Hi Ginger,
I can completely understand you. I was working full time…and like yourself I was well paid etc. Since the dx last year, nothing is same. I am still thinking about BC, why life treats people differently etc…I have lost my self worth…The list goes on…but somewhere deep down there is also a rational thinking.Hey…why do we take things for granted ? These things happen and they are everywhere.Make most of the life.I tend to fluctuate between the two sets of thoughts.You are perfectly normal.We all react to such things differently.good luck
Hi Ginger
I am ‘just starting out’ as dx 2 weeks ago and had surgery 1 week ago, and it is just dawning on me how much of my life this thing affects. I have a job where I am really important and ‘someone’, very high pay and the only breadwinner in our family. My husband looks after our girls aged 4 and 2 so that I can continue the career I love. Since May 07 it has been really stressful, and of course I think that that has triggered my BC. My husband just seems to think I can get treated and go back as I was, but I am far from sure about that. It may just be his way of keeing positive, but I know he enjoys the lifestyle my income provides. I can’t imagine not working, or doing something else, but a small silver lining at the moment is spending time with my 2 small girls in the sunshine.
It’s all so up in the air and out of control till I know next week exactly what I am facing.
I hope you are feeling a bit better today, and find something that you find fulfilling and enjoyable, whether it be in work or outside of it.
Kinden
xx
Hi everyone
Thanks for all your comments and its great to know that other people understand. I am feeling more positive now and not so down. I know that I will never be in the same position as I was before BC but in a lot of ways my life is better now. I think that I have literally been grieving and things at work had brought that to a head. After lots of thinking I have decided to back off at work for a while, try to be a bit more in the background and not give of myself so much. Much better to spend my energy on other things.
Kinden - I am so sorry to hear that you are just starting out on this journey. Your comment ‘out of control’ rang so true with me as I found this the hardest thing. One thing I regret is not taking more time out when I was first dx. I tried to get back to ‘normal’ too quick so please take as much time as you can off from work and get all the help you can through Occupational health etc. Also you will qualify under the Disability Act now for help in any adjustments you might decide to take for a while such as reducing your hours. Things might have been different for me if I had taken what was on offer.
My husband also was at home when I was first DX and we swopped after my dx. We did’nt have so much money but we managed and have been fine.
Please don’t think my life is all doom and gloom because its not and I have done many things that I might never have done. I dont regret the changes I made I just missing being ‘important’ sometimes. I am sure you will understand what I mean!
Thanks everybody
Ginger