Grumpy husband

It’s been 4 years since diagnosis of breast cancer I supposed it was hubby who had treatment he moans about money sits in the kitchen watching old men movies I just feel life is passing us by . He does go training and running but I find we have nothing in common any more is it me the tamoxifen I feel so unhappy all I want to do is enjoy life anyone else feel like this . My grown up kids say he is grumpy I sometimes I am being punished for having cancer I have history of other illnesses to I do really well I work go to gym walking and love nothing more than going out enjoying life . I also have a 14 year old you treats me the same .

A cancer diagnosis is hard on all the family and everyone deals it’s with it in their own way but you are the one it happened to and no matter how hard your husband has found it you don’t deserve to feel like you are being punished and also with your son following suit it must be so hard to live like this. 


You sound like outside of this you have a full and happy time, I guess you’ve had a frank talk with hubby about how you feel? If not then I would say do so and there’s is no way I would tolerate my son behaving in the same way , not a chance! Could you rope your older children in as a bit of back up with sorting your son out? Nip him in the bud now! 


I know life isn’t all roses but after all you’ve been through this is the time to pull together and appreciate that you’ve got through it and make the most of every day, everyone gets grumpy but when it becomes a way of life it will really drag you down, time to do what’s right for you my love! Xx Jo 

Thank you it’s a daughter I have who is 14 she’s not so bad she found it extremely difficult when I was going through treatment she stuck to me like glue she is very much a daddy’s girl and sees no wrong until I tell her and she does try to be nicer . It’s just so frustrating as hubby was my rock going through treatment and I think I changed after I was always just did things for peaceful life now I speak my mind and I don’t think he likes it . I do t mean to make him sound like a monster as he isn’t but he needs for us to appreciate life I didn’t fight cancer to end up with him being so miserable it’s time to enjoy what we have x

Thank you jobey it’s just I find this is best place to offload we could have such a better life if he could see my way of thinking. Sell the house downsize no mortgage neither of getting any younger so to semi retire would benefit us both no use him working so hard for not to reap the rewards . He is just so frustrating my children tell him sell up enjoy life we want you to enjoy life ???

Sorry to hear of your troubles I hope that things improve for you. My husband calls me lazy and vile because I am starting to question things he says and does which I wouldnt have before. I feel I only have one go at this life at I dont need to take the carp anymore. He is quite an anti social character so although I have friends I dont see them very often. He doesnt have any friends. I have had stage 2 cancer, with a horrendous amount of complicattions radiotherapy damage and lymphoedema of breast and on continual antibiotics everyday due to numerous infections which has wiped me out. I do my best but some days the fatigue gets the better of me.  The house is far from untidy but he complains. He keeps moving and hiding stuff in places my daughter and I cant find . eg her coat or shoes he says he is trying to make her learn to be more tidy. I ask him to ask her to put them away not hide them as it back fires on me all the time running around in the morning so she can catch the college bus. He wont do that and says I should put things away. He has never had much empathy or love and kindness for me. Yesterday I had had enough and told him off. He leaves his shoes in the conservatory but I guess thats Ok. So I put all 6 pairs of shoes in the hall ready to be taken to the bedrooms he came home threw her shoes on the kitchen Island and fruit bowls and told me I was lazy always had been and was a vile person like my family. He has been nasty on numerous occasions since my diagnosis of BC earlier this year complaining about the food I have made for him, putting my juicer in a cupboard I cant reach, moving my Tamoxifen tablets from the cupboard I keep them in over the kettle so I dont forget to take them.  He doesnt want to be here I wish he would go rather than keep making my life a misery.  I would leave but I have a 16 year old daughter so trying for her at the moment.  I hate this. MEN!!!