Well I had my op now just over a week ago and had my results on Friday… Some good news as in there was a large enough margin removed so it’s all gone and she managed to save my nipple so far, however one of the lymps showed some ‘macrometastatis’?? so now have to have full node removal Feels likes it’s one thing after another. Because of my age as well my doc is recommending chemo, rads, the works to try and avoid it coming back… I still just can’t get my head around that i’ve got breast cancer as don’t feel ill but just keep getting told more things that i’ve got to do and get through to make me better again… does it ever end?
Miriam - I am so sorry you are having to go through this but you will get lots of support on this site. You are feeling the same as we have all felt. I don’t think we can ever get over the shock but you become accustomed to it. Just take it one step at a time and you will get there.
Hi Miriam
I know exactly how you are feeling. I was there in April. It is very hard to accept all of this when you do not feel ill. After my op I had the good news that the margins were clear and the worry that there was cancer in one of the nodes and needed another op. It took a while to come to terms with it all. I am now half way through chemo so time does pass and you do get through it. Please give yourself time to adjust and be kind to yourself. I wish you well with the ANC and hope you recover quickly. Dx
It’s so hard adjusting to new information all the time, I know how you feel. Just as you feel you can cope, another piece of bad news knocks you over.
I had macrometastases in my lymph nodes too - just means it’s bigger than micrometastases, I think the definition is 4mm or larger. I’m also facing another op even though I’d had node clearance, and it’s a daunting prospect.
But we’ll get there - time will pass and the treatment will eventually be behind us. Good luck with the op and treatment plan. xxxx Jane
Hi Miriam
Its not easy its like your on a rollacoaster and you cant get off! It does slow down. I am on my last chemo this week. Having started not even thinking I would need chemo!
Have found the waiting for results, dates appointments etc the worse!
I still find it hard to believe that I have BC dont think it will ever sink in! Have found the forums a great help!
Good luck with op and treatment plan
Take care Sarah x x
Thank you all for all your kind comments. They do help and certainly make me feel less lonely and scared knowing I’m not alone. Looking at also having IVF to try and ensure I can still have a family when this nightmare is over which brings with it it’s own worries, but trying very hard to concentrate on one thing at a time. Will be glad when the next surgery is over so at least as you all say then things can calm down slightly and I can get into some kind of routine. It’s my first day back at work today and it’s a bit more difficult than I thought being back in…
Hi Miriam,
take it easy, don’t be too hard on yourself, hope work goes well for you today and your colleagues are kind and considerate. Mine are and it helps a lot…good to get to work and have some 'normality ’ too.
I echo your feelings of not getting your head round the whole bc thing …you sort of are in a state of denial it is so hard to accept…no history of cancer of any kind in my family so I was not prepared for this at all but am now post op 2/3 through chemo and still wondering how I ended up here lol…i have refused to be ill and so far not doing to bad keeping my promise to myself.
Hey i like your post about Refusing to be ill,im hoping i can stay that way too,im a really sicky person if its about i get it type,if its got a side effect i get it! but reading what you have put makes me wonder if a lot of the time i convince myself im going be ill,i feel ok at present chemo starts next week,its the dread and thoughts in my head thats driving me to believe im gona be sick etc.although when i had my op i wasnt and recovered quickly so maybe my bodys stronger than my mind! does this make sence? lynne
Feels likes it’s one thing after another. Because of my age as well my doc is recommending chemo, rads, the works to try and avoid it coming back… I still just can’t get my head around that i’ve got breast cancer as don’t feel ill but just keep getting told more things that i’ve got to do and get through to make me better again… does it ever end?