hair/hat help please

hi all
im struggling here
i dont wear my wig
i have a number 2 all over but it is getting patchy and i think it will be gone very soon
ive just been wearing baseball caps as i do that anyway on bad hair days so i thought id look most"normal"

but its pretty obvious i have no hair and i feel people are staring in playground
i dont like scarves as i feel that screams no hair, though i wear one in house if cold

i know i shouldnt be bothered and there is nothing i can do
but its getting me down, i dread school time

i know there is no solution and it will have to be the caps for months to come(it nearly blew off today!!)

school play etc, how odd will i look sat there in my cap?

sorry i just needed a winge
its so trivial in the scheme of things i know

helen

Have you seen the baker boy caps? They are deeper than baseball caps and cover more of your head. You can get winter ones. Look at scarf hut website.
I know what you mean about the wig and scarf. I didn’t wear them and was definitely a hat person. At this time of year they don’t look out of place.
If you feel that anyone is staring just give them a smile. It’s amazing the effect that that can have!
Nicky

Hi Helen,

I can understand how you’re feeling. I’m using to cold cap… so still have some hair… very sparce on the top though, so i’m always in hats now.
Why do we let ourselves worry about such things??? I really wish I didn’t care about what other people thought!!
I don’t think my hair will last out to the end of chemo, keep looking at wigs, but like you probably wouldn’t wear it.
I’ve got some nice woolly beret type hats (very ‘in’ this year) and they do cover alot more of your head than a baseball hat… I wear a choob/buff underneath like a headband. Managed to keep it all on today in all the wind!!

Try not to get yourself down about this!!!

Sarah xx

thankyou
i will look at that site
they will just have to get used to helen with cap/hat wherever she goes wont they.

i wish it didnt bother me so much
i have caps hung on the front and back doors so i never forget to put one on if some one comes lol

i wear a beanie in the woods with dogs but i look awful in one so couldnt do playground in one
will have to try one with a peak

What is the problem with wearing a wig?
I have worn one for a year now as my hair has been ridiculously slow to re-grow. My wig is just the cheapo from the hospital but it matches my original hair & style - and in fact looks a lot better than my hair often used to look!
We are all different but I hated the idea that everyone would know I was having chemotherapy; although I live in a village, only a small number of people know of my op, treatment etc.
Having cancer is nothing to be ashamed of- but for me it isn’t something I want to advertise either. My wig has been really good for my morale and has allowed me to retain my privacy.

Hi ladies
Hope you don’t mind me butting in. I am off for my first FEC tomorrow with the cold cap. Today I went out and bought myself some hats and headbands. I took my daughter with me who said I actually suited wearing a hat which was quite a confidence boost. We went into the changing rooms of TKMax with lots of different styles of hats and several fancy designer scarfs. How funny we must have looked as neither of us knew how to tie the scarf so I ended up doing it like the queen when I finally managed to put it bandanna style I have to say I looked like I should be on tour with Bruce Springstein.
Hats and scarfs seem to look ok when you have a bit of hair but when I put all my hair in them I looked like an onion. I just hope this cold cap works as god knows my manual dexterity isn’t good with this hat positioning thing.
Lincs lady as for this being trivial I think at the start of this journey it is the most important thing after all how many hours do we spend on our hair, according to research just published over 40 mins a day for the average woman - no wonder I have had so many bad hair days then. And as my lovely daughter says to me “well I have only seen your hair really lovely once mum and then you went out in the wind” I would like to add she is 18 so maybe having a wig is a good idea for me.
I bought a nice hat with a peak for £3 from Primark, all the teens seem to be wearing them. Also a micro towel which I can put on my head if anyone comes to the door.
Take care everyone
Elle

Before I started my chemo (6 x FEC) on the 12th of Oct, I bought lots of hats and 2 wigs! just to be ready in case I lost my hair, I have been using the cold cap and can honestly say that I havent lost any more hair than I would have if I hadn’t been having chemo. I think I am lucky though, I have very thick coarse hair and it is definatly staying put for the time being. I am pleased,although i no longer straighten it everyday and it looks a bit like a haystack! I feel better that its my hair and it wont just blow off if the wind gets up!

Anyone thinking about the cold cap all I can say is that it is worth a try! At least if you try it may just work, and if I start to lose it near the end of the treatments then it will only be for a few weeks!

Dena xx

Hi there ladies;
Just had to add a post to this! - My hair has been falling out over the last couple of days, I am now two weeks after 1st chemo session, and due for the 2nd next Thurs.
Anyway, I last washed my hair on Monday, have been using baby shampoo and no crap on my hair, so I did think it would last a little longer! But now every time I touch it - it comes out in loads of strands, so I know when I next wash it will be out! - It really feels like crap now & so dirty, but as I am due to meet friends tomoz lunch, I am goin to stand the dirty look, just for tomoz, and then at least I have the weekend to start seeing how the wig works? - I also have a couple of bandana’s in place for around the house; but need time to see how it all works for me & the family. God I know we are expecting it to happen but when it does its so scarey!
Goin to go out wiv dirty hair to meet the girls, then wash it tomoz night when the kids are all out, just me and Dave, see what happens, maybe he will shave it off? - will let you know what happens!
Good luck to all you ladies Luv Em xxx

my wig gives me a headache and im convinced it moves everytime i move my head or shoulders lol

ive just spent £30 on scarf hut lol
i got a baseball cap
a couple of peaked beanie things
a baker boy cap
and a few easy svcarves for house

Deana;

I didn’t try the cold cap because I knew that in my state of mind that if it didn’t work then I would be so depressed that I tried & failed.
It needs to be noted that there is a 1 in three chance of it working, and that is not that you keep your hair, it could be that it thins or that you lose it in patches.
I don’t want to put a downer on you, as you have been very lucky in keeping your hair, but for other ladies that are considering it, this is how it works, and I don’t want people to get their hopes up!
Anyway I am very pleased for you, and wish you well in the future xx

Dena,

You’re doing really well with the cold cap!! Mine isn’t holding up as well. Having to wear headbands to cover the top and still shedding. I just try to get through each week with it and like you say if you lose it towards the end its not so bad. If I do manage to hold on to some to the end of treatment I’ll just have it all cut really short anyway, to give it all chance to catch up!!
What type of cold cap do you use? I’m using the paxman one. Hasn’t been to bad so far… quite soothing in fact! But honestly not looking forward to next weeks session as I know its going to feel colder (lots less hair for protection against the ice!)

Sarah x

Hi,
have you seen the hats that have a little fringe of hair velcrod on. I met a lady wearing one at a look good feel good event and I really thought she had hair until she took it off. They also come in nice basketball caps with a big blond ponytail or red hair, anything you like. A bit pricey and sorry I can’t remember who sold them but I googled it and found them under chemo wigs or something like that.
I used the cold cap but my hair got really thin and a monk’s bald bit on the top. I wore the really wide stretchy hairbands that were in that year and pull on beanies. By the way when you start shivering at night remember you lose most heat from your head. I had a soft bobble hat on in bed through the winter.
My hair is the best it has ever been since it grew back and it has come back with very few greys hooray! Lots of luck with yours and it will be back.
Good luck
Lily x

Hello everyone. I’m copying below some notes I wrote while I was going through chemo. Some of the ideas may be useful to people.

‘I bought a wig before I started and I was pleased I did as most of my hair fell out 20 days after my first session. My wig is lovely but not terribly comfortable so I wear hats and scarves most of the time and just keep the wig for best.
If your hair falls out you may find that your head is very sore for a few days and also that you feel cold. I had very thick hair and was surprised how cold I was at first.
I have bought stuff from Headcovers.com. They are American but their stuff arrives very quickly. Especially nice are their sleep caps and the terry cotton sleep cap I got from them is the most comfortable thing I’ve got and I wear it around the house during the day.
I’ve also bought some lovely Indian cotton scarves from theindiashop.com. (You need to phone the number on the site to order the 3 scarves offer). Their scarves are pretty and also soft and comfortable.
Under my scarves I sometimes wear a cotton quilted skullcap I got from headlinehats.co.uk. The skullcap gives more shape when you wear a scarf and also provides extra warmth.
There is a very good leaflet from this breast cancer site – if you call the helpline – about hair loss which also shows you how to tie a scarf’.

Good luck everyone. Anthi x

Hi Lincs Lady,

I was comfortable in a beanie so I bought a few (cheap) cashmere ones in different colours. They’re ok for casual but as you say not much good when you want to get dressed up.

I know what you mean about it being obvious you have no hair. Did you know that you can get fringe (or bangs) hairpieces that you attach to hats/scarves? I didn’t bother with one because I wore my wig when dressing up but some of the others at my clinic use them and they look very natural.

I’m 3 months on from chemo now and my hair is growing back quite well. I still look like GI Jane but have ditched the wig and I’ve changed my make-up to make sure I don’t look like a man in drag. I was self conscious at first but have yet to have a negative reaction from anyone so my confidence is growing.

Jan xx

Hey All!

I’m halfway thru my 4FEC & 4 TAX regime (YAY!!) and have been as bald as a coot for sometime!

I was very self concious at first, diving for cover or a hat if the door went…but now…hey, I’m bald! …live with it! lol. It’s something that I found devastating at first, but now I go bald quite happily. I’ve earned the right to have no hair & it’s not forever.

I have lots of hats from Debenhams, Matalan etc & some gorgeous Beau Beau scarves ( from America…already tied…fab!)If it’s really cold out I wear one of my wigs under a hat to keep my heard ultra cosy (if a little itchy!) but I usually choose to go bald if I’m indoors.

I know it’s a huge thing, but I was surprised at the lack of ‘looks’ I get. I feel that I get more strange looks when I’m wearing my wig or a hat inside…I’m very self concious that they make me look bald (weird I know!! lmao)

I would just say, try not to focus too much on the hair thing. You are still you & the people around you will barely notice whether you have a hat on or a bald head!..as for eyebrows! OMG…mine are on the way out…soon be time for tattoos!! ;o)

Hxx

Re Lily200 “nice basketball caps with a big blond ponytail or red hair” (pricey!)

From Bohemia Fashions (need a hyphen between “bohemia” and “fashion” when googling) Not bought one myself but am tempted!

Well; since I last posted; I have lost all my hair, well did lose most of it, and Dave shaved off the rest! - I have so far been coping suprisingly well with it all. Have been wearing the bandana’s around the house, although yesterday I was rather cold so did also wear a beanie. Today I went out in my wig, and people said how good it looked! I have a towelling thing that I got free with my wig which is the most comfortable thing that I wear, I wear that for bed, as although I don’t mind Dave seeing me bald, I don’t want the kids too.
I suppose we all feel and cope differently with all this; and good luck to all you ladies in however you choose too
Lots of Luv Em xxx