Oh Bright you must be scared stiff.
Mine is a grade 3 and because its over 10cm and nodes involved they cant control the cancer,my body isnt responding to chemo, my onc says i am going to be left with cancer behind after the op.I am at high risk of getting secondaries. I asked her to do a double mx and she said were not worried about your other breast its your organs it will attack next.
As i have had 3 different types of chemo and not 1 has worked,i am considering giving it up and going straight to surgery,as my bloods are still low i feel I’m waisting time hanging around for chemo.I will see what advise the Marsden give me on Monday.
So glad your new lump was only a port,i bet your relieved too.
You need to have chemo in case any cancer cells have traveled into your lymphatic system,chemo mops up any strays.U cant see the cell on a scan,only when it becomes a tumor,that’s why your doc wont scan you.Chemo after surgery is to make sure that the body is free of any cancer cells.
Try not to worry too much about the cancer coming back, you will need all your powers of strength to get through chemo and to stop this monster from rearing its ugly head again…
Its nice to read that your partner has stayed with you, he sounds so supportive and attentive. Give it time and you may get that old spark back with him…who knows…your both going through a tough time at the moment and things probably don’t seem normal any more…hang in there…
I’ve just been reading about the calculation the consultant used to begin to predict the prognosis of my bc. It is called the Nottingham Prognostic Index in primary breast cancer. This essentially predicts the probability of being alive in 15 years time. And is based on a calculation of number of lymph nodes involved, size of tumor and grade. I fall into the poorest of three categories - and just read that probability of being alive in 15 years is only 13% and 40% months in 2 years. These results on initial reading are quite alarming. But what the consultant did not tell me was that the data (though still widely used) were collected in 1982. I work in education research - and a study as old as this would probably be discounted as circumstances now are quite different to how they were 26 years ago. With advancements in treatments - I am these odds must improve… surely it is worth medics investing in repeating the study using more up to date sample.??
Hi all morning Ladies,
Bright you sound like you have got yourself in a right pickle !
try to be more positive about your cancer, I have had 2 doctors tell me the same thing IN A YEARS TIME THIS WILL BE JUST A BAD MEMORY
Mine is grade 2 41mm which is just over 4cm and another one is 13mm and another one is 8mm ( not to mention the other one that hasn’t been measured , or they never told me anyway )i
You have as much the same ( unless it’s in the family ) chance of getting BC in your other breast as anyone who hasn’t had it . Like Shell said it wont go to your other
breast, hope this helps you ???
that report is way too out of date too my onc told me not to read or watch anything to do with BC ( probably cos you’d scare yourself stupid??)
And your grieving ( in a way ) for your lover and even your old life , we all know life will never be the same again,( BC will always be with us even if we get free of it ).
Also consultant told me that ALL BC is treatable !!
Did any of you go out to a party last night??
We went to Cheryl’s (sis) played BUZZ and then apples to apples , I have never played it before but it was fun ( especially seen as I won ! LOL )
I have had heartburn since yesterday every time I swallow it feels like something is stuck, and I have a ulcer in my mouth ( dont know if it’s the chemo or just a ulcer?)
Bright you seem to be worrying about the chemo I was dreading it but it’s not as bad as I imagined at all ( just remember to take your anti sickness pills ) and you should be ok remember too that you wont get ALL the side effects ( just some ).
I must say losing my hair is the worst part , ( but when you think about it , it’s only vanity ), your life is more important than youe hair.
Another subject now we are having haggis today with swede& carrots & bo ( mashbo !) we always have it new years day !
I am having my C T scan tomorrow ( not looking forward to that , in case they find owt else ?) and I also have a wig appointment at 1pm so looks like I will be at hospital nost thhe day tomoz !
Thanks for this Caron, I think though it is not just the tumour size and grade but the number of nodes infected (mine are five) and you probably won’t know yours yet. But thanks for cheering me up. Are they giving you scans? Mine said no point as will not alter what they are going to do…
Have you had any scans??? when I first went they did a ultrasound scan and told me I have 2 nodes involved didn’t you have 1 ??
I am also having a CT scan tomorrow to see if it’s anywhere else ??( I hope not ) the onc did say he doesn’t think it will be anywhere else and he said even if it has they can zap it with the chemo.
So I don’t know why I am having one cos like you say it’s not going to change the treatment.
They did you a clearance didn’t they?
And the first thing I said to you about your new lump is that it is probably from your op site ( not that I am always right ( ask Steve ) LOL ))
Try not to worry too much ( I know it’s hard ) and take each day as it comes and you will get through it ( might take a long time but we’ll get there ! )
LOVE CARON x
Just come home from a very cold trip to Crystal Palace for lunch and shopping. I was feeling really upset last night after the possible prognosis - that I over-reacted when Jason decided to carve the chicken (normally me) - which he did all in one go in the roasting pan, which meant the meat got cold and all of it was drenched in the chicken fat. I refused to eat it, and we didn’t speak for much of the night though we are okay again today. So when were out, I chose roast chicken from the cafe menu (place was so busy) and we had a good conversation so things on that level are back on track.
The new lump was in fact just as you said - part of the operation site - or at least it is the injection port for the expander - they did an ultra sound on it. I did have an ultrasound of the armpit and breast at initial diagnosis, but they did not tell me at that stage about lymph nodes. It was just to assist with the sentinal node biopsy. The pathology analysis - on axillary node clearance revealed five out of eleven involved - and complete analysis of the tumour showed that part of it was grade 1 and part grade 2 (I had three tumours too) - so it is classed as a grade 2.
They are not going to do scans on me as far as I know. From the path results - doctor (not onc specialist) said no evidence of mets/secondaries. This is because there was no evidence of vascular/lymphatic invasion (though how this differs from presence in the nodes I am not sure).
I have been looking at other sites where they have different data on prognosis, more up to date than my bc doctor described - and later data looks more positive. What I would really like to know is if they did get rid of it all through surgery - how does it come back… and if it does come back… would it need to be to the breast first… if it is a bc and starts there. I just see so many accounts on here of women having the all clear, and then going back for tests some years down the line and found it has spread to origins. Surely with regular detection it should be picked up quickly and not get to that state…
Hopefully when I see the onc for the first time next week (or week later if still in hospital) he might be able to tell me some of the answers…
We have had the in laws for dinner today,i have been trying to rest most of the day hoping my bloods will be up for tomorrows chemo…Fingers & toes crossed…
My boob is aching like mad with terrible stabbing pains,i just want to chop it off,its like an aggravated tooth ache that wont go away. I have had to stop taking Tramadol as they were making me dizzy,sick and out of it…not nice.
Glad you had a great night last night Caron. We went to bed early because Simon had man flu…
Nice to hear you and Jason are talking again. We always take it out on those close to us, just ask my hubby…lol…I will be thinking of you tomorrow when your at the hospital.Take care.
HI all,
hope you have had a good day today???
I have we have been shopping to Matalan they had a huge sale on bought loads of tops and stuff , we went for some head scarfs for me ! I now have 5 headscarfs 1 bandanna and 4 wigs ( another 1 coming tomoz at wig fitting ! ) so thats me sorted out !!
Then I was playing Lara ( the new tomb raider ) then I cokked tea ( haggis , swede carrots & pots , mashbo )
Then Chez ( sis ) came with Gino ( her boyfriend ) for a while , so it’s been an ok day today , not looking forward to my CT scan tomoz my appoinment is at 10’30am then I have the wig appointment at 1 pm so I will be all day at hospital I suppose !!
I hope they don’t find owt else anywhere else !, not that they will tell me anyway , I have bought a new tracksuit to wear cos the letter says if you wera a tracksuit then you don’t have to get undressed as long as there are no zips so I am not even gonna wear a bra I am gonna wear a tshirt bra so there is nothing metal on me …
Where I have shaved my head you can see the bald patches I have as there are no hairs there at all so I think I made the right decission doing it when I did ???
There were loads of ppl looking at me today ( they obviously thought “OH THAT POOR WOMAN ???” there was even some mothers who grabbed there kids away from me as if I had something catching !!! ( cheeky sods ! )) I even deliberatly never looked at ppl how sad is that !!!
Anyway off to get my jarmas on now & play Lara again ! night all , I will tell you when I get home tomoz from hospital how it goes ( ie CT & wig ) love Caronxxx
Last entry before going off for surgery tomorrow. Slightly nervous about the skin graft but I’ll get through it. Caron good luck for tomorrow and sorry about your hair - though you seem to be used to the shorter look now. It is horrible isn’t when people stare. That happened to me when I came home on crutches nearly 2 years ago after breaking my knee cap. Wasn’t your hair very long? Mine is too. But will try the cold cap - just in case by some miracle it works… Shell - just think, not long now until you can wave good-bye to the stabbing pains.
Caron, My hair on my head seems to be hanging on in there but not down below, that’s all over the place! My head is really tingling like crazy though so mayb tomorrow. Taking the kids ice skating so can get away with wearing a hat all day but will be scared to take it off in case my hair comes with it, it’s so upsetting isn’t it. I blubbed my way thru new years eve and mainly about the prospect of being bald but I do think it’s much more than vanity, it’s our whole identity!! My hubby bless him keeps taking me shopping and buying stuff in the sales to cheer me up, got a few bits from Karen Millen yesterday which look lovely but once hair gone, don’t suppose it’ll look so good with headscarves! Just to warn you, I had a CT scan a few weeks ago and they didn’t tell me about the weirdy feeling you get down below when they inject you with the stuff, just be warned it feels like you are weeing yourself!!!
Bright, see I told you, we always think the worse and we’re going to but not all lumps and bumps are things to worry about!! So pleased yours was nothing major!
Shell, I’m under Prof Smith at Sutton Marsden, and although I’ve not met the man himself, I,ve read up on him and he is a very top man, you couldn’t wish for better!!
Here’s wishing all of us a much better end to 2009, this time next year ladies, we’ll feel much more like partying!!!
Well i got my chemo today and 5 Neupogen injections to give myself over the next 5 days so my bloods will stay at an even level ready for next chemo(if this one starts to work)or my op…The District nurse will show me how to do it tomorrow and then i am going to do it after that,or hubby if hes not too squeamish…Just goes to show what a bit of stamping your feet can do for you…I will see the surgeon on Monday and then will take it from there.
Bright - Good luck for today… I saw a lady in chemo today with the cold cap on, it looked like a riding hat with a swim cap over the top,the lady said it was bitterly cold but worth it…
JO - I have seen Prof Smith on my first visit,he was so nice and wasn’t going to give up on me. My Onc had run out of ideas but he came through with another one,lucky me (i don’t think its working though,but i can hope)
I will see a Ms Fiona McNeill on Monday shes a Plastics Onc. Do you know her?
Caron - How gid it go at your scan today? and the wig fitting?
sorry this is the 3rd time I have written 4 some reason it’s not being submitted???
went ok really strange Steve used 2 work at Asda & when I found out about the BC he was telling a lady who still works at Asda anyway her friend had just found out the week b4 then she heard about me guess wot ??? she has been diagnosed the dat after Steve told her about me !! so she was in there having a MRI & CT .
So I might have convinced her to join on here ???
Anyway back to mine they did give the beaker full of white stuff ( it didn’t taste of much really , which this woman was surprised when I said that cos she was with her husband & he told her it tasted gross ! ( liar & sympathy spring to mind ! ).
I had to drink it over 1 hour then I had to go to the scan room then laid on the couch there wasn’t much room to move and I was a bit peeved that they ( nurses ) never explained what was going on ( even though it said all would be explained to me ( it wasn’t ! )
I also had the injection which made you feel warm when it went round your body.
Then it was to the wig fitting room and got the wig I wanted it’s called Joanna and it’s the capachino ! colour.
Hope you feel alright after your chemo today Shell ? and I hope Bright’s op is now over and done with and all will be ok .
Jo hows your hair today?? my downstairs started going first too.
right I will see if this one works this time ? Love caronx
SHELL there are some new pics of me on facebook with my wig and a couple with just the bandanna thingymabob !!
Thats not my new wig I got yesterday that one is from ebay , the wig woman told me that cos my one I got yesterday is so long it will only last about 3 months she said it will dry out , I did buy some conditioner from her for it though .
I bet your not well today Shell cos of the chemo you had yesterday ?? I am having my bloods next Tuesday and Chemo on Wednesday.
I don’t think my tumor has shrunk at all if owt it feels bigger ?? ( gulp )
Jo hows your hair coming along ( or not as the case maybe ! )
Where is Andie T lately ??? and I wonder how Muv is ???
I am just going to the gardening shop in a bit cos we bought a water butt that Steve hasn’t fitted yet ! ( only had it a week ! ) you know what men are like???
Right I am off see’s you later ! love Caron x
Just caught up with the postings and sorry to hear people so up and down. I read too much too and get very down about it all. So many studies though are based on very out of date data and/or limited research groups. Sometimes it feels like I have a chance and other times…well…it just seems that secondary stuff is going to be inevitable especially as I am grade 3 etc. Feels hard to hope.
Well I’ve been having a crap time. Just got out of hospital today after going in on Sunday. Cold took hold of me and then on Sunday had high temp,fainted and went a bit weird. Ended up in hospital at midnight - all of us…Kai too…had to be entertained my nurses!! Seems I got an infection, blood count went very low, blood pressure dangerously low and bang… Have gone insane in hospital …waiting for my bloods to come back and trying not to let my hospital phobia get the better of me. Feel like I’ve lost Christmas this year. Also scared it’s going to happen again. Will be neurotic next time! It’s just not enough that we have bc is it…all this other stuff makes it all so crap. Just thankful my blood count went up.
Anyonw know where you buy this manuka honey from??
Oh Caron, I’ve joined the baldy club and I’m as miserable as hell! started falling out in clumps yesterday whilst ice skating, went to friends after for drinks and cried the whole time there, bet it took them hours to hoover up after me, I’ll tell you once it starts falling out it doesn’t take long does it? Phoned my hairdresser and went in at 8.00 this morning to have it shaved but she cut it by hand as she said it would be too upsetting. mind you as she was holding it to cut, clumps just came away in her hand! Now I look really ill all of a sudden and it’s making me feel ill actually! felt all right when I had hair! Took the kids to a panto this afternoon and wore the wig but it is sooo uncomfortable and at the end of the day, it looks like a bloody wig! there is no getting away from it! Doesn’t help when my 2 year old keeps shouting " you bold mummy, you bold mummy" and then the 2 boys tell her to shut up at the top of their voices, coz it’s a secret!! I didn’t realise it would hurt so much either, is your head sore to?
Shell, glad you got your chemo, you brave thing having the injections at home though, not sure I could do that! No don’t recognise that Ladies name but if she’s plastics presumably that’s to do recon at the time of your surgery is it? I’ve had my surgery so recon won’t be for at least a year for me!!
Love Jo XXX
I’ve got my next chemo, all being well, on Monday, so lets see if that bloomin expensive honey has done it’s job. If my bloods aren’t at a good level, the honey can go back to shop and I’ll buy that nice pair of nine west boots ive seen in the sale instead!!
Jo- you made me laugh about taking the honey back…
I too was upset when i lost my hair but let m say you do get used to it,honest…Mine is starting to sprout again,my hubby says i look like a baby bald eagle,i don’t know if that is supposed to be a compliment!!! I think i look more like a kiwi fruit.
Good look with your chemo on Monday.
Gail- You can get Manuka honey from health shops,some supermarkets sell it too.The best ones are 15+.I cant remember what it stands for but its something to do with its strength.It will tell you on the jar.
Caron - I’m a bit tired to day,have snoozed most of the afternoon away.I will look at your pics later.
Guess what?? I went to book my friend and i a massage and booked it for Wednesday morning. When i got back home from town the salon phoned me to say they could do it now because they are not insured to give treatment to BC patients!!! What??? I have been there before.She wont do it unless i have a letter off my GP…I may get a reaction to their products…I don’t think so,didn’t want to ruin their image having a cancer patient on show in their Oh so perfect healthy world… I was so pissed off…
I thought you may be interested in our ‘Complementary therapies’ publication as it contains some information about massage and breast cancer, you can read it via this link:
I have not posted on this thread before but just wanted to let you know the salon prob weren’t being funny. My daughter does hostilic theropy and massage but will not touch me at the moment, until I have checked with bc nurse that I will not have any reactions to the treatments She also said that I am supposed to have a letter from gp to say it ok to recieve massage. Hope that make you feel a little beter about the salon.
Hi Girls
I havn’t disappeared. I have been reading our thread but have been a bit down so didn’t think you needed my woes on top of your own. I have an appointment to see the surgeon next week and am worrying myself silly that He won’t do the surgery because my lump has not shrunk enough. Hopefully just my imagination.
I had chemo No.7 out of 8 yesterday but because I am now having herceptin as well I was in the treatment suite for 4 hours and got very very bored. Today the side effects have kicked in much earlier than last time and you will probably realise that my brain is totally out of gear with my fingers and my spelling is rubbish.
Shell I have to give myself injections to keep my blood levels up and they really work. My lesson came from the nurse at the hospital not the luxury of a one to one with the district nurse. Good luck for Monday.
Caron keep posting whatever you do youmake me smile with your tales about you family,
I will let you all know how I get on with the surgeon. I just hope I get to see him and not one of his underlings. There will be a stand up row if they try to pull that one on me.
So…with this manuka honey…do you just take a spoonful or something? Sorry to be thick??
It is so so good to be home. Enjoying all the little things… like the peace!! My bed felt so good last night. Also good not to have to wee in cardboard anymore or do everything one handed cos I have a thingey in my hand for the drugs. No one sticking needles into me on a daily basis (hurrah) in their endless search for a vein with blood. And…I’m still… “ill”…so I get to sit in my soft dressing gown reading Heat magazine and catching up on celeb big brother…maybe I could manage a chocolate though darling… !!! I do miss the hospital food though!!! Got really into choosing my puddings!
Andie - when I was in hospital …had lots of talks with Docs. One said that he didn’t mind if my lump was not shrinking (as long as not growing). he said th emost impt thing was that the chemo might be attacking any stray cells. He said surgery will sort out the lump - that’s the easy part!!! OK for him I guess…he not being sliced and diced!!!