Dear all,
I hope everyone is okay this evening. I am feeling really under the weather, not sure why, but a combination of absolute fatigue, slight nausea and a general feeling of being out of sorts. But nevertheless I went into work today and managed to pay attention and contribute during a three hour meeting about boys’ underachievement at school - particularly on how we can improve their interest in reading and writing. We are organising some regional conferences to look at these issues in March and I’m hoping I can go to them and have organised the chemo routine accordingly.
I work in the centre of Westminster, and have a view of the Abbey from the window where I sit near - and most days I hear the chimes of Big Ben as I turn the corner to reach the office. I met with my boss today about arrangements for my working through the treatment. She is very supportive and has suggested colour coding my diary so that I can pick out treatment days and times in the cycle when I am most likely to feel well and less well - which will indicate whether I will be free to attend meetings or not. I am wondering whether I will be able to apply mind over matter with this illness, when most people seem to give up thier jobs for the duration of treatment. I suppose time will tell at the end of the day.
I picked up the wig today - and it is very impressive. It is the same colour and has a similar wave and texture to mine, though I think there is more hair in it than I have. I need to contact the wig fitter to ask her come over and tell me what to do with it. She needs to cut the lace back and show me how to stick or glue it in place, and how to wash it of course. I am going to try the cold cap but from reading most threads can see that it does only work for a small percentage of people, and at least the wig is here now if I need it. Just so depressed that it will take me at least 4 years to regrow my hair which is about 28 inches long.
I have seen Muv contributing on another strand a little while ago - not sure why she has not written here. I wonder sometimes what happens to people when they stop writing. Sometimes I think particularly at the beginning of diagnosis there is a temptation to write on lots of strands, and it is only later that one realises that it is difficult to keep up. I occasionally write on one other, but this is the main one for me now - unless I have a particular problem and I might start a short strand - like when I got gangrene after the first surgery.
I am reading about your arms hurting from the chemo - the delivery sounds like a nightmare. I will only be able to use the arm where I have lymph nodes still, as I had surgery first. And the nurse was telling me veins can collapse or risk clots. He mentioned I may have to have a central line fitted - but not a hickman (that one sounds too scary) - but again there is a risk of clots with the central line and the entrance can become irritated. I don’t know how I will cope - arms in water and pads - just sounds awful … the search for blood and veins reminds me of Dracula…
Sorry you couldn’t sleep Shell and still worrying about treatment - why don’t you see if you can get your care transferred to the Marsden I am sure the hospital can do so much more for you
Caron - your experience of latest chemo sounds scary - a bit like my experience of the CT scan. Hated feeling the dye going all round my body - really eerie the way it gets into the mouth and tasted like ammonia.
Gail - the housework will still be there - be good to yourself and rest and watch as many episodes of CSI that you can handle. I am a bit like that with come dine with me
Jo - hope you are feeling more refreshed today
Love Bright xx