hair loss???

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Hi I had 3 x FEC and 3 x Taxotere. I did loose all of my hair but it does grow back quickly. I got my husband to shave my head in the end as the prickling feeling as it falls out was driving me mad. Chemo and rads knocked me for six and even now I am struggling with exhaustion. But one day at a time
It is hard on your family but i take comfort in that my husband has been my complete rock throughout and it has brought us closer together as a couple. Before diagnose we were on the verge of divorce but things are working out better
You don’t say how old your children is -there is a book called Mummys lump which helped my 8 year old a lot. He did go through a rough time but now he sees me up and about, looking more or less like i used too things are better despite me developing secondaries. Last May I didn’t think i would see anymore christmases as I felt so ill but here I am two christmases on.
Lots of hugs coming your way

Jools

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Aww poor you jools my children are 19 ( he no longer lives at home ) then there is Jordan he is 16 then Chloe 15 then Owen my baby altough he is 13 only just !
Was it the chemo that made you think you wouldn’t see any more christmas’s or the cancer?
I hope I am not that bad on it ?
If my hair starts coming out I will shave it too !! even if it is mid winter ( typical eh ! )
It would take a lot of years for my hair to grow this long again and even then it will never look the same as I will be older and probably more freyed !
O well never mind I am thankful that I have found out and not hid my head in the sand !
got to go soon ( bobbing mysen now ! ) love Caron x

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Hi Caron

Hope your appointment was ok and you have been able to get some of your queries answered. As you will have already heard from the other girls, there are a lot of different chemos available and it depends vry muchon what tyoe of cancer you have. SOme cancers are oestrogen (i.e.hormone) positive and can be treated with chemo and then hormone treatment (like Tamoxifen or Arimidex). other cancers are negative and then the treatment is different. Your consultant will probably have explained all that to you today. We all react diffrently to chemo as well, although I would say that most feel a bit poorly for a few days after chemo - which is normally given in the outpatient department - and then pick up over the weeks and then have the next dose. Even with the cold cap, your hair will thin out and it does not work for everyone and is also a bit uncomfotable. I did not have the cold cap as my chemo (AC) would probably have led to hair loss anywhere, so my consultant advised against the cold cap treatment. I did loose my hair at about week 3 after the first chemo and then had it all shaved off, rather than bits of hair clogging up the drain and all over the house and clothes. I had a brilliant hairdresser who took me to the beauty room and dealt with it and then cut my wig and put it straight on for me and adjusted it etc. So when I came out, it was not too bad at all. I also used a lot of scarves etc. as I had chemo in the summer and the wig was a bit hot. My ahir did come back very curly = apparently caused by the hair follciles being dmaged by chem - and it was also much darker. Three months after finishing chemo it was about 1 1/2 inch and I just had the ends trimmed and a few cap highlights put it, just so it looked a bit like a very short hairstyle, rather than straggly bits. In my case, but my hair does not grow quickly, it took 1 year to get it back to chin length.

I know all this is a lot for you to take in at the moment and your family must be devastated. All I can say is to take it day by day. Enjoy your good days, ask for help when you need it and enjoy your family time together. You will have to make a lot more decisions in the next few months, but you will have plenty of time to discuss all the options with your breast care nurse or your consultant, so don’t feel you need to make all these decisions now.

Very best of luck and lots of hugs coming your way.

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Hi there Caron.

How did you get on today? I hope it wasnt to upsetting for you, i have been thinking of you.

I hope you got your answers to all the questions you fired at them and i hope you learned a bit more about this roller coaster of a journey your (we’re all) on,

I live in a small village near Spalding, Grimsby isnt that far from Spalding.
I have my chemo in the Pilgrim hospital in Boston, where will you have yours?

Sending lots of hugs and love

Shell…xxxxxxx

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I can’t believe all these nice people on here !
It is so nice to talk to other people going through the same ( well nearly I know each case is unique ).
Anyway Steve should have left for work this morning at 10 am but he came with me and said his customers will have to understand, he has been crying all morning I thought I would be ok but as soon as I saw the pink rose above the door I turned into a jibbering mess ! I had to sit down for a while to try and compose myself !
I was waiting ages ! and I couldn’t stop shaking visibly and all !
I have a lovely cancer nurse and she took us in a room then she said " he wont be long ( consultant) anyway she said " Rachel ( who is the nurse I first saw last Thursday to say I neede scan mammogram biopsy etc ) said that when you came in you ( me ) said to her “I don’t want to waste your time” she told my nurse that I really never thought I had the big C . I said to my nurse " Did Rachel know that I had the big C when she laid her hands on me ? " she said " YES " I said " I knew she did " even before I had mammogram and everything , The nurse said " well she knows what they feel like how hard and everything.
Anyway she is coming to my home on Thursday ( I am not really sure why to be honest ).
The consultant was a bit abrupt to be honest but he probably thinks himself a god which in fact he actually IS !
Cos I said I had been on this site and he was quite mad with me he said " I dont want you talking to others every case is different and all the information will be out of date and even what they could do 2 years ago they do diffrent things now !
I did think OK keep your hair on ( excuse the pun ! )
Anyway he said that I have grade 2 , I please please want to know more about these grades my sis said there are only 3 for breast cancer but there are more in other cancers ? also what does grade 2 mean ? Does it mean how aggressive it is ? ( I know mine is invasive already as it’s spread ).
Anyway back to diagnosis I have grade 2 but that might be 2/3 in a review he said .
He said I have 2 in my lymph nodes one is 13mm and the other is 8mm.
God for a minute I thought it was CM ! ( until Steve told me later ! , god I am so silly ),
He said my cancer has been sent away to see which chemo will work on it best, and that I will have to have to have 2 different types of chemo one after the other.
I also have to have a C T scan to see if it has gone anywhere else ( but he did say " I don’t think it will have ").
I am having chemo for 6 months altogether then surgery to remove the breast, I said to him " I knew I would have to I am not stupid "
This seemed to upset him again !!!
and he said " NOBODY SAID YOU WAS "
I thought I better keep my mouth shut after upsetting him twice already ! so I just agreed with him after that !
He is removing my breast and my lymph nodes ( all of them I don’t know how many I have ? ! )
I forgot to say this I was at first told I had 2 cancers and a cyst but he said " I have 2 under my arm thats the 13 mm and 8 mm ( which he is concerned over ) and I also have the breast one which he never said how big that is but I also have another suspicious one in my breast , which they never did a biopsy on cos I had already had 3 biopsy on breast and 4 on under the arm, so cos they already knew they never bothered with that one. and that is why he said I have to have the breast removed.
They said I will start chemo within the next 2 weeks I will have it macmillan suite Grimsby hospital, Shell I may easy come and see you seen as you are so near !
we could give each other a hug ( a big one ! , we need it we all do ! )
I do not know if it is to do with oestrogen or owt like that he never said but I am having chemo that is deffo, so maybe it is ?
Thats about all I know for now till Thursday till my nurse comes here then on Friday I meet the oncologist ( probably spelt wrong ! ) to tell me about the chemo and effects and all that!
GOD I am just so pleased that they can do something !!!
I really thought they want Steve with me to tell me there is nothing they can do , thats why I fell apart before I went in.
I must say this too that 4 months ago I thought I had a lump !!!
then it went , then came back bigger !!!

I said to my nurse my dr. had asked why I had left it 4 months ? I said cos I wanted to make sure I did have a lump when I did I went to Dr.s

Anyway I said to my nurse that I had a lump and she stopped me and said " DON’T TELL ME IT WENT !!!

I said " YES IT DID "

she said " thats because when the cancer starts as a small lump it then goes further down into your breast and gets like cobwebs on it spreading out then when it grows it becomes a mass and shows itself …

I was really bothered about how long I have had it but the consultant said " don’t beat yourself up about that "
I don’t know why I am bothered about how long I have had it ( but I just am ) but if that is the case what my nurse said I can’t have had it much longer than I think.

The consultant was abrupt with me but when he was going he shook my hubby’s hand then mine and said " Don’t worry we will beat this together " !

Which really cheered me up cos I know he is a serious guy and he obviously means what he says.

keep well / cheerful/ bright we will all beat this damd thing together !!! one for all and all for one !!!

PPS He did say that cos my graet nana died it is nothing to do with her because she is too far back ?
and it’s just like Rachel said in the first place IT’S THE LUCK OF THE DRAW ( we all lost that draw by the way !!! )

love Caron sorry this is so long !

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Sorry to hear of your dx Caron, you will (as you have seen up until now) get lots of support from the ladies on here. Chemo isn’t too bad although of course there are some for whom its very tough and others for whom its fairly straightforward but you will make it through them chemo and then on to your surgery. Just try and take it one step at a time.

Good luck with your scans etc, hoping for you that it hasn’t spread beyond your lymph nodes (although it sounds like your surgeon is fairly happy it hasn’t).

There are lots of ladies on here (unfortunately) who’s cancer has gone on to produce tumours in their lymph nodes too and had more than one lump so I am sure they will be able to give you lots more information, xx

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HI ostrich.
I am just so scared ( I keep crying all the time thinking this is it ).
I try not to but i just can’t help it, At least the consultant called me a young lady ! and my BC nurse gave me a leaflet on younger women with BC!
I hardly slept last night at all just laid there thinking all night next to my lovely boy Owen ( he always creeps in my bed when his Dad is working away ).
When they do the blood test ( oncologist ) what are they checking for ? I have always been a little anemic so is it worth taking iron pills now?.
And yesterday ( I always get everyone in pinch punch 1st day of the month ) my husband was giving me his arm saying " go on then ! I didn’t know what he was on about so he had to tell me it was the 1st ( so I could get him! ) And it really upset me that I hadn’t even got the kids a calendar! so I let them get one each last night but I am not paying attention on nothing . thanks for listening to me moaning !!! love Caron ( hope your treatment is going well for you) x

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Hi Caron
I have just read about your visit to the consultant. So sorry that you are now having to deal with all this. As you say consultants are like gods but I can forgive anything with mine as long as he acheives a good end result. As I said before it seems that you and I are on more or less the same journey. I was diagnosed on 13th August - a day etched forever in my memory (Also the day before my eldest granddaughters birthday)

My consultant told me to give him a year to sort me out. At the time it seemed like forever but already 3 months have gone.

I had to have a bone scan, an MRI and a CT scan to see if there was any spread. I think that was the hardest time. The waiting. Also I knew the cancer was in my body, it was growing fast and although there was only a 2 week wait for the chemo to start my imagination was running riot with the damage that could be happening inside me. Those 2 weeks I felt as if I was never out of the hospital, at the end the oncologist was able to tell me that there was no spread beyond my breast and lymph nodes. That was an enormous relief - how sad to be happy that I only had breast cancer.

3 months down the line I cannot praise my hospital enough. They answer all my questions, even if in hindsight some of them have been pretty silly. They treat me as a person not a case and make me beleive that they genuinly care.

I won’t go into details about the chemo side effects because we are all different but being a few months ahead of you I am more than willing to tell you what worked for me should the occassion arise. The top tips for chemo thread on here is brilliant. Read it all, but accept that you won’t need it all.

My husband has been an absolute star. We have been married for more than 40 years but it is only in the last few months that he has found out just what the oven, the washing machine and the tumble drier are for: but he has, and he has willingly and nearly happily.

My adult daughters are frightened for me and would have me wrapped in cotton wool if they could, sometimes I escape their watchful eyes and do something totally off their approval scale. I giggle to myself and feel like a naughty schoolgirl. Believe me in all of this things do happen that make you laugh.

Try and keep your chin up. I live in London - a long way from you but am sending love and Hugs.

Andie XX

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Aww thanks Andie,
I did laugh at your husband has found out about the washing machine etc are for , I just dread my poor kids with my hubby’s cooking !!
If I have ever been ill or can’t do the dinner or if he wanted me to have a break he would always say " let me do the dinner for a change "
So I would say " so what you gonna do them then? "
knowing full well what the answer would be !!!
Steve :::: I will do them egg chips and beans !!! honestly thats all he ever suggests , he reckon’s thats cos all he can cook !!! So I hope I am not laid up or the poor kids will end up looking like egg chips and beans !!! honestly what are they like ?
I have been married to Steve for 15 years now , we have actually known each other since we were virtually a EGG !
We went to all the same schools since nursery ! It’s funny really Steve has been married before but his ex wife unfortunetly had a affair with his bro !
I think she thought she could have her cake and eat it. never mind eh!
Steve has took all this really bad,
Will I go through stages I have definetly past the first stage of disbelief !
Lots of love Caron x

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Caron,

It’ll take time for this all to sink in and you still have things to find out which will have their affect on you (be it joy - no spread beyond your lymph nodes, or sorrow - that it has spread there at all). Coming to terms with BC is different for us all in some ways and different I imagine on what stage and your prognosis is but I found myself in disbelief boardering on denial for the first month until surgery, happily telling anyone who stood still long enough like I had just been promoted or something. I then went on to sorrow for what I had lost and become (I had a mx and recon) and for the things I am still going through (open wounds, chemo), and questioning God. I don’t think I’ve hit real anger except with my husband for rushing around pretending everything is fine yet but I’ve had real moments of fear but overall I tend to just live each day in the same state of mind as I did before - life goes on. That said it doesn’t take much to throw me off kilter (eg recent diagnosis of lymphoedema) and want to hide under the duvet but I think, for me, having a family whose lives do carry on whilst I sit here trying not to wish my life away until I can return to “normal” means that most of the time I just plod on. I have to say too that I have had moments of joy too as I realise how blessed I have been with love and support and just not taking life for granted in the way that I did before.

Its a journey, its a rollercoaster, its the unknown, its scary, its painful, but it does become “life”.

Hope that makes sense and is helpful but its only my experience of BC (so far!)

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hi AyoJoy1

I have just saw your first comment about the pain where your lump was. I had that experience aswell. I had a pain which was like someone sticking a pin into me, i thought that a pin was stuck in my clothes and kept shaking my tops. when i was in the shower i had that pain again, i came out of the shower with a towel wrapped around me still feeling this ‘pin’, when i put my fingers on the exact point where i felt it, i felt the lump. I went to my gp the next day - that was back in Feb 08. Strange thing is when i felt the lump the pin prick feeling stopped. (do you think my mum who died of bc was trying to tell me something)?

good luck with your treatment.

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Hi Caron
I went through too many stages to list and believe that there will be more. At first I was totally shell shocked. I had been convinced that I was suffering from mastitis and went to the hospital on my own for the test results. It took about 2 days for the shaking to stop. As my mum died from breast cancer I suppose I totally believed the hospital from day 1 so never had the disbelief stage. I have gone through absolutely terrified for the future, couldn’t stop crying,anger,fear of the unknown treatment,sadness at the loss of a carefree life, untill now - at this moment- I have a determination that this is not going to beat me. There will be other stages as I have to deal with surgery and then rads but know with the support of my family and friends I will get through - So Will You.

My husband asks what do I want for Christmas and my only answer is Him and a future. Priorities change.

Accept the love and good wishes , we all care about each other.

Andie XX

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I have just had a crying session with my mum , who said that she is going to go see a hairdresser about a real hair wig ( I don’t think she knows how much they are, when she finds out she prob change her mind ! lol) My mum said she wishes she could go through the treatment for me, ( I nearly said SO DO I !!! lol ).
Steve is away now selling his fishies ! and he was talking to a minister who said he is going to contact through some code or summats that they have and they will all be saying prayers for me between 6-7 pm. I might feel a bit better then ( for a while anyway ).
I am really upset today as my eldest ( Jamie lives with his girl friend ) and he knew I was going yesterday and he never bothered to ring text nothing ! He was on msn last night and he never even bothered to say hi how ya doing ! , this really upset me as his gf came home from work last week when I found out but hey guess what they never bothered to come and see ME !!!.
I must sound awful but I would like to think he cared ( even if it was just a bit ). Lads don’t show their emotions do they ?
This bit is for Vodka yes think it was your mum warning you !!
I found this morning 2 big black feathers on my carpet this morning ! ( don’t know why they was blackthough?) I have got a dream catcher above my bed where I sleep and it is a Indian with feathers on it but they are light brown and white ( very strange , I hope my father in law is looking after me also?
Keep writing everyone it makes me focus on something else and I like to hear how you are all doing too and how you are all coping.
I asked my BC ( see I am learning already this jargon ! ) nurse how many people are diagnosed weekly at Grimsby where I am and we worked it out to 8 people a week ! Anyway thats it for now love to ALL love CARON X

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Hi Caron
Can’t believe the surgeon told you not to look at this site, we are all going through this together and are here to support each other, were not here to try and do their job were here to live the journey together…

The weeks waiting for your chemo to start is terrible. I was told i had BC on the Friday and flew to Turkey on the Monday for a two week holiday. The docs suggested i cancelled but i could not disappoint my 3 boys there (13,10 & 5).
I had to ring the hospital after a week away to get my cancer grade, it was grade 3 & invasive. I came back from our holidays on the Tuesday, saw the Onc on the Thursday and started chemo on the Friday. It all happened so quick after our hols that i felt it was happening to someone else, telling my family & friends was like i was talking about somebody else, it wasnt me who had BC it was someone else…

It wasnt until i had my first chemo that it hit me…this is happening to me and its happening now.

There are days when i cry,feel empty,alone and angry…why me? All i want is my life back to normal but i take every day as it comes and like ostrich says BC does become life, you learn to live with it and adapt.

The grade they give you is between 1 and 3, 3 being aggressive, so as mine is a 3 its fast growing thats why we have to have chemo to try stop the growing rate and reduce the size of the tumor ready for surgery.

Perhaps your son doesnt know what to say to you, hes probly worried but cant find the right words to say, hes scared too.
Give him time…

My sister didnt come see me for 2 months because she was scared of what i was going to look like and didnt know what to say to me to make things better, she just wanted it all to go away.and by ignoring me she didnt have to think about it and what it was doing to me…
We should deffo meet up…

Lots of love
Shell.xxxxxxx

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Hi Shell,
I bet your gald you went to Turkey it’s lovely there !
You are probably right about Jamie but it has upset me .
So if yours is 3 then can it go down a grade ? cos Mr. Donaldson said I may have a review to a 2/3 grade .
Also he never said if mine was invasive but I figure that means if it is spreading ? so I know that answer already , if I have 2 in my lymph nodes .
My B C nurse said that I will start my chemo within 2 weeks and I have to have a ct scan but they will carry on regardless they will not wait for the results of the scan.
So cos Steve said he wanted to be with me and he is away Monday and Tuesday the nurse said that in that case it will be a Friday and I will be ill for the first week and the next two will be a bit better then start again.
So I think they might start next Friday ( I am only guessing ).
How big is your tumor? mine is 13mm and 8mm he never said about the breast ones I don’t think he is that worried by them two.
I have got some leaflets that the nurse gave me and it tells me about the drugs I will have ( although that might change cos he said he had sent them away to see what drugs works best on them )
The drugs are F E C and taxotere which I have noticed alot of the women are taking on here.
Tell you what though I did not realise that my periods will probably stop my mum said that dosn’t mean the menopause but I think it does?
I can’t believe he said don’t go on here either I need you lot to keep me sane !!!
I have had a really depressing day today , I am really tired I hardly slept last night if at all so I hope I sleep tonight?
Shell did you say how old you was ? you must be young with children as young as yours.

keep writing xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx caron

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Hi Caron

I’m 37 and my tumor is 10CM (100mm) and the 3 under my armpit are between 2 (20mm) & 3 (30mm) CM…

My periods haven’t stopped, wish they had. Some chemo can bring on early menopause.

I had a bone scan, heart echo, kidney & abdo scan, that was all after my first chemo because they wanted to get started straight away because of the tumor’s aggression. I don’t think you can go down a grade but if the tumor grows it can go up a grade.

My tumor was only 4CM (40mm) when i was diagnosed and the chemo i have received has made no difference what so ever as yet, its just grown.

I have my scan in the morning to see if there has been any shrinkage, i don’t feel there has been.
Then the Onc will decide weather to switch my chemo or not, i have my next chemo on Friday.
I don’t feel too well in the first week of having chemo but after that im just tired and i rest a lot. FEC makes your wee red…Lol…

Are you on Facebook?

I think we should get together for a cuppa and a chat soon. We could meet half way. Do you drive?

Hugs, Shell.xxx

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Hi babes ( getting personal now !)
no im not on face book. I bet you are deverstated I know I am , No I am useless at driving I never learnt to ride a pushbike till I was 10 !
But my hubby is very good and he would bring me .
I am wondering now that maybe they will start this Friday ? I am going to see the onc do they start it the first time you see them ?
I hope you have some good news tomorrow with your scan.
They did say that there are lots of diffrent chemo’s so don’t worry they will sort you out !!!
what chemo are you on ? does it hurt when it goes in and what do they check for in the blood? as I have been anemic a few times when I used to give blood , won’t they do it if I am ? sorry to bombard you with all these questions when you are suffering just the same lots of love caron x

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Sorry Louise I am a dope !

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Hi Louise ( BCC facilitator),
I am sorry how do I send a private message then?
Please reply thankyou Caron

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It doesn’t matter now I looked on f&q thanx