Andie - snap. I have also been unwell with a chest infection and a cough, aggrevated by being asthmatic and the taxotere. I am on antibiotics and was sent for a chest xray as GP thought I may have fluid on the lung - but luckily it was clear. A few times though at home I thought I may have to call an ambulance due to shortness of breath - but luckily each time my breathing improved slightly.
Normally I would have loved to have gone walking in the sunshine - (never thought about dancing Gail) - but yesterday I went to the cinema in Brixton - all the way by bus to see the Gran Torino. A good film with Clint Eastwood - a kind of rites of passage for an older man.
Good luck with the Rads Gail, Andie. So sorry your scar has opened up Shelley - hope the medics can close it again quickly.
Have to sign off now - as about to start coughing…
Caron- I am having 17 sessions of rads, they dont hurt,its like a big x-ray machine over you, i have a pad placed on me called a bolus, its supposed to penetrate deeper into the skin (as i have the cancer back in my chest muscle) you have to be really still.Once your in position the treatment only lasts about 25 seconds. I get 3 blasts.1 to the chest, 1 to my arm pit and 1 to my neck/coller bone.
My skin is bright red and itchy, like youve been sunbathing without your sun cream, its not really sore though. My scar has started to weep and thats sore, saw the Dr today and he has taken a swab sample of it, he has put me on a course of anti-biotics as i dont feel very well.
the radiologist has given me some dressings to keep my wound covered and some burns cream which you use after treatment.Which is tomorrow…hurray!!!
I go back to the Marsden on 29th April to sign a consent form and have a biopsy, the trial will start in June as were in Egypt on our hols in May…
Shelly what will they do for you as your scar has opened up?
is this usual?
I hope it isnt getting infected thats the last thing you need on top of everything else, how will they close it for you? or do they just wait for it to heal by itself?
Did you have the tattoo? do they ask you about the tattoo or do they just add it part and parcel of BC??
I have been busy today didnt go to sleep until 2pm and was up at 930am so my reckoning thats only 7 1/2 hours sleep !!!
wow thats a small miracle for me!! getting back to 8 hours sleep now but hey guess what?? Tax this Wednesday so all start again !!
Seems to just get over the last one and it starts again!
I have been in the garden today with Chloe & Owen then my sister came for 10 minutes then I did dinner (minty lamb) then bath then before you know it it’s bedtime! (and I want to get to sleep early as I will have to be up early in the morning).
Yippee bloods tomorrow ! so steroids again thats one of the reasons i got up early this morning I kept thinking " i wonder where my steroids are"? as i had a quick look yesterday and couldn’t find them so i got to thinking " god i hope steve hasn’t got them in his van?"
So I got up to make sure they wasn’t in his van but he’d gone anyway! luckily they wasn’t in his van just fell at the side of the sofa.
It was lovely in the garden today I got my sun chair out and Chloe sat with me a while but then went to revise and Owen was doing a typical boy thing and burning leaves with a magnifying glass.
Must say my eyes are doing my head in!! constantly running and they are all sore underneath now where I have been wiping them, I would say I look like a panda but panda’s eyes are black not RED!!!
Gail yes I had some califig god it taste’s awful that stuff.
right night night got to go peeps xxxxxxxxxxxx
Hi Ladies, had a manic weekend as it’s my eldest James’ 7th birthday today and as I knew we were going to be at the Marsden most of the day, decided to try and celebrate it yesterday. he already had a party a few weeks ago shared with a school friend, and yesterday we took him and 3 friends to cinema to see Monsters Vs Aliens, 3D it was fab then they came back here for Pizza! Today was a day of reflection really, I always get emotional on their birthdays but this one seemed worse than ever! I found myself grieving for him as a baby which is really ridiculous but must be to do with the fact that I know now that I’ll not ever have another baby, the hot flushes keep reminding me of that! I just don’t know where the last 7 years have gone and then I start thinking will I see his 8th, 9th birthday etc!
had my CT planning scan for Rads today, which was not so pleasant. Had the marking tattoo’s and the one in the middle of the chest hurt like hell! Still pain gone now so just left with an unsightly blackhead in the middle of my cleavage! Rads start next Mon as does the dreaded Tomoxifen!
Gail, Took a leaf out of your book and made a well overdue visit to ikea and bought a storage unit and sorted out all cd’s and dvd’s this weekend, and felt much better for it! have you started Tomoxifen yet?
Shell, hopefully catch up with you on 29th.
Bright, sorry to hear about your chest infection, I had the same for the first two cycles but fine by the third!
Good for you Andie, out in the garden, that’s what I should do but I never did before BC so don’t know if i’ll suddenly develop an interest now post BC, who knows!
Caron, Constipation on TAX? thought that little treat was especially for FEC!! Hells Kitchen, Does Marco do it for you, I can’t see the attraction myself! Ade to win!!
Kathy, we’ll b doing rads together! I start on Monday.
I’m still considering if to go on SOFT trial or not but it all depends if periods start again once all chemo out of my system! Today I learnt that the CT scan that I had at beginning of Chemo actually showed some cysts on ovaries, which they hadn’t told me about before. Onc sayd it wasn’t worth mentioning as it was nothing to worry about but Michael got really cross with Onc and said that we would like further investigation as the last time they told me I had a cyst,and it was nothing to worry about, it turns out to be BC! So now i have an ultrasound up my wotsit to look forwards to! Great!
Hope everyone ok, gonna stop typing now as tingling starting in my fingers again. Typical it’s a side effect of TAX, which I never got during but have now I’ve finished! How does that work?
Jo- I have a cyst on my ovaries and my onc said she wasnt suprised as alot of young women have them!!! I am now a little worried as BC is linked to ovarian cancer or vice/verser…I think i will talk to the Marsden about it before i start my trial.
Hope to see you on the 29th April…
Caron- The tatoo marks are onlypin head size,they just do them as they measure you up.They prick your skin and them pop a little bit of die over the dot…I have 4 tatoos 1 in the middle of my chest 2 at the top of my chest and 1 on the side of the rib cage as i have Rads to my under arm pit.
I have been waking in the early hours of the mornings with a throbbing head ache,i cant seem to shift it and on sunday whilst i was out shopping i had some fuzzy,wuzzy flashing lights coming and going in my right eye and couldnt see properly. I have mentioned this to the BN and she is going to speak to my Onc…Im worrying myself sick about it…could it be brain mets???
I have just heard from the hospital that my rads start next wednesday for 15 sessions. I think that is the same day as Kathy and 2 days after Jo. We really will all be able to exchange notes.
The schedule with daily times gives me times all over the place, some early in the morning and some last thing in the afternoon. They are also at 2 different hospitals both in cental London. I will just be so glad to get this next part of the treatment out of the way.
One of my daughters is renting a chalet in Devon the week after the rads finish for 4 days and she has invited me to go with her
and her son. The timing will be perfect and I have never been to Devon, Something to look forward to if the rads weeks become difficult.
Shelly… you must be worrying yourself silly with all this, but I am not surprised in the least that you have headaches!!!
Probably from all the worrying your doing !
Or it also sounds like migraine?? have you had them before?
I’m not saying it’s nothing course i’m not and it is always best to get these things looked at but try not to worry or your headache will get a headache!! (thinking of you loads ) xxx
Well went for my bloods today what a palava!!! gets my blood form out noticed it never said my name on it !!
Went to Macmillon suite told them (meanwhile I had alraedy taken my ticket for the queue for bloods) funnily enough the womans whose name was on my blood form walked in, I told her and wondered if they had given her my form? but she said no one said anything, so then I gets my right blood form goes to path lab and it wasn’t even up to my number!had my bloods done then went back to Macmillon the woman whoses form I had came back to see me and she said they had checked and she did have the right form !! ( now i wonder if they gave it to someone else? )
Anyway saw Carol (chemo nurse) she said it measures now 5 x 5 1/2!!!
couldn’t believe it last time she told me it was 8 or she might have even said 9 as she gets mixed up alot!!.
So now on Sunday when I am in all that pain I know it will be worth it ! (so shan’t complain as much )
Steve reminded me I have to ring BC nurse so she can advise on the op I said thanks for that Steve like I’m gonna forget ! I’m petrified I don’t know how I will get through that bit ???
love Caronxxx
Shell - it really does sound like a migraine - I used to suffer from these. Pain behind one eye, flashing lights etc are all classic symptoms and can leave you really tired afterwards. Headaches can come in clusters and then you do not get any for a while.
I am still getting over the side effects from my first tax, and next one is due next week. Wish I knew if it was doing any good. I had my surgery first - so I there is no lump to measure any changes. Pleased that yours seems to have reduced Caron.
Still feel flu-like, and losing my voice. Also walking seems to take me ages. The fronts of my legs seem really stiff. The only good things so far are that I have not had any mouth ulers and not much pain in my nails… but still lots of time yet.
I have got a new favourite programme on tv - watching it now - it is called The Speaker, about young people in a competition to win a public speaking competition. Looks like it is part of BBC’s broader remit to foster citizenship - and this programme looks like a good output from that. Also love Taste of the Nation. Even if I go into work - these days I usually arrive home for 5pm so I can see programmes like that.
Have been thinking if I am well enough I would like to go on a short break to the Isle of Man. I like the look of the steam trains, the Manx wheel, and the old towns.
Ohh I see nobody has written???
went for my tax today and have got an appintment to see the onc !
This will only be the second time I have seen him !
And now I have to make the dreaded phone call to my breast cancer nurse as she wants to fill me in on the next stage ! The dreaded mastectomy.
I suppose I will put this off for as long as I can,(I know me)
How can I get through this when I am petrified???
I wish I was a different person and I never worried about nothing but it’s all I do !!
I wish I could change myself into a confident person, but I am not infact very much the opposite. love Caronxx
Caron,
I know how concerned you are about the mastectomy. But just think, the main problem will be gone. Nobody likes ops but it wasn’t that bad, limited use of arms for a rew weeks.Don’t try and put it off the sooner its over with.
John moves down from somerset this morning with Bertie who I think may cause chaos whilst they’re unpacking. I think I’ll stay away until its done.
Iwent to the Maggies centre yesterday to see if and what benefits I MIGHT BE ENTITLED to. Is such alovely place so calm and peaceful. I’m going back next week for a"look good, feel better" day. then i’ll make another appointment with the benefits chap. He seems to think I’m eligible for several things, which would be so helpful in my circumstances.
Hope all are well. 3 of us to start rads next week. I’m not looking forward to feeling more tired.
Caron, sorry meant to post Tue eve to say good luck for TAX on Wed. Is that your last one now or do you still one left, I think you do. Listen don’t worry about surgery. I remember saying to Gail and Shell that compared to chemo, surgery is the easy part and I really think you’ll be surprised, honestly it’s not that bad! I know it’s easy for me to say, but really you sleep a lot whilst you’re in hospital, you don’t know anything about the surgery coz you’re completely out of it and afterwards they make sure you’re comfortable and pain is under control! The worse thing for me following surgery was the constipation from the anesthetic and pain killers, but you’re used to that from chemo, just make sure you pack your califig!!!
Gotta rush, trying to pack all sorts into this week before rads start next week and I’m no good for anything again!
Take care
JO XX
Hope everything went OK yesterday with your Tax Caron and I hope that Marble continues to recover. What a brave little cat! Listen to what Jo says about surgery. In fact, if you can, look forward to the rest in hospital. You never know you may be in and out very quickly like I was.
Not looking forward to the rads starting next week. Not because of the rads themselves but because of the daily journey into London on the train.That in itself will be tiring.
Bright I hope your cough is improving, I gave in and went to the GP this morning to get mine checked our because it has been hanging on for weeks now and one of my ears is permanently blocked. I had to see a GP that I had never seen before and although he says my chest is clear and I don’t need anti biotics he also informed me that my immune system will be permanently suppressed because of the cancer the chemo and the rads and any infection that I pick up from now on will always take longer to clear up. How cheerful was he. He also tells me that the problem that I have with my big toe nails, that I assumed was a SE of the chemo, is actually a fungal infection and because I have ignored it will take a long while to sort out!
Shell I hope the problems you are currently having turn out to be nothing more than a migraine. The symptoms certain match.
Kathy I hope the move goes well and Bertie does not cause too many problems. Even if he causes chaos you will forgive him. Where is the Maggies centre that you mention it sounds good.
Jo do you have a long journey for your rads treatment. I have given up on trying to stay ahead of the game with expected SEs they never turn out to be what I expect, and always take me by surprise.
Andie- i had an MRI scan yesterday and it was clear…Phew…
It just showed a cluster of nodes at the bottom of my neck,but we knew about them.
I have just read a message on my FB page. Dippykate has died, i read her threads i just wanted to let you know about her in case you read her threads too. Such a sad lose.
My thoughts are with her and her family.
R.I.P.Kate.x
DIPPYKATE,
oh god i had a feeling it was going to be soon them poor little kids!
i was going to read her blog last night but in the end was too tired, wished i had now, bless her she was so brave wasn’t she.
Dont know what to put now am lost for words. love Caron xx
Have just been in Dippykate’s blog and read the news so came straight here…for comfort and companions!! Silly really. I didn’t know her, never wrote to her… but she wrote such wise, thoughtful and lovely things and gave such good advice on the forums. It’s too sad.
Gail re DippyKate,
I did write a couple of things to Kate but I think it’s when you realise yes this is a person writing all her thoughts all her days events such a brave lady to the end .
Such a cruel disease we all have. … we are all mortal and makes you think about it even more when something like this happens.
Shelly … yes sorry wonderful news for you glad it was nothing else for you to worry your pretty head about.xxxxxxxxxxxx
Caron - so so true. It was an honour to share a glimse of her life. I think I mentioned many posts ago that I couldn’t read her blog as it made me feel sad. But I realised soon after that was because I concentrated on the illness too much, actually her posts were so much about life.
It made me realise that even if you have this hideous disease…well…normal stuff can go on…family stuff can still happen…good times can still be had…love is still there…and every day is worth fighting for because every day can bring something.
Yes - Having this disease makes you so aware of your own mortality. I’m sure I thought I was immortal before…that death happens to others. This disease makes you realise the truth in all its brutal reality.
It seems very hard indeed to write anything at all after learning that Dippy Kate has died. Like you I followed her threards - and as you say Gail they were all about life. She mentioned the disease of course, but it was in a contextualised way - fitted in somehow between trips to Paris, making sausage rolls with her twins, and cut-out dolls and scrapbooks. I used to marvel at her talents and her pursuits - they were so varied, and reminded me of the things mothers and housewives might do decades ago when women had more time before most went out to work. To me Kate was invincible, while she was alive there was hope, that perhaps the disease did not catch everyone - that somehow with the right attitude and a full life, it was possible to evade its path: that the cancer would go away - beaten back from the place from which it came. Brutal reality yes - Kate’s passing makes the disease very vivid. I am left thinking who next - and where I am I in the queue… ten green bottles standing on the wall.
Caron - the surgery really isn’t anything to worry about - but anyway we’ve spoken
Shell - really great news indeed about your scan - probably was a migrane after all.
Andie, Jo, Gail et al - good luck with the rads. Andie - hope the cough is going. My throat is still sore and coughing - but slowly getting better.
I agree with Bright that the hot cross buns look fab. As the cook amongst us how about a daily picture of whatever you have cooked for dinner to inspire the non cooks amongst us?