Hi, I have been a lurker to this site for some time and have not been an active poster, I have however been very inspired by the posts of all the gals going through this, and have found it a great source of comfort, information and positve booster to get through the tough days.
I am 39 years old, was diagnosed in January with 9cm IDC + DCIS + microcalsifications of dcis through the whole of my left breast , I had full mastectomy to left breast and anxillary clearance in march, 2/13 nodes positive (expander fitted, for later reconstruction) and had my first of 6 FEC T chemo on 24th April.
I coped with the mastectomy really well, I think this is because I accepted it as the only way to shift this big C from my body, and I felt my breasts had done their bit in life by nurturing my three beautiful children. For this I feel lucky that this disease didnt occur at an earlier age.
My hardest part at the moment is the beginnings of the hair loss process from chemo! Today is day 13 from fec 1, and I have noticed that hair is dropping from EVERYWHERE!! Now, I know this was going to happen, but I cant get to to grips with it at all! It feels like a punishment, I dont have cancer in my hair! In my mind I figured the hair would shed from my head first, then work its way round my body in the later infusions! Boy I was wrong! I have lost all the hair from my thighs, my head is shedding slowly but regulary, even the downstairs is having a good go! Time to shave everything off I thinks, but i cant find the courage to shave my head! Its not a look I want to carry off right now! lol. I hate anything on my head, cant wear hats, scarves, hair extensions etc, and even though I have a wig fitting on Tuesday (this has been delayed my me on numerous occasions, as part of my denial process!) i think it will annoy the heck out of me!
People around me have tried to reassure me, but the comments I get, part of me feels like screaming back: " you never told me that when I didnt have cancer, why do i have to go though all this to hear some of the best compliments of my life!" lol
So for all you ladies out there, suffering in silence, feeling like your hair loss is not as worthy to sympathy, considerations, your emotional rollercoaster, IT IS! It isnt vainity, it isnt ok, just because it will grow back and if u dont want to embrace it u dont have to! But coping with it, I can only say that the mind will find a way, (I am still waiting for mine to kick in on that one! lol).
I challenge anyone that says to me " you will look wicked bald" with a " u shave ur hair off as well then, then we can look wicked together"
My hubby wont even shave off his god awful “hells angel” beard, which he knows I hate, because he likes it too much! To show solidarity in the preferble “we” he uses every time he talks about this cancer journey to everyone. Ok, Ok, I know, it is a we, partners have as hard a task coping with this too, but as selfish as this sounds, it would make me feel better, as a true understanding from someone who matters would make this feel a whole lot less lonesome and traumatic!
Cyber Hugs sent out to all you lovely ladies, ! xxx
Hi
I had my first FEC on 25 April, day after you and i sit here typing this, my scalp is tingling and my usual dark shiny hair looks like dead rats tails, even though it was gently washed and conditionned this morning, so suspect it is going to fall soon.
The hair on my arms has gone but nowhere else as yet, perhaps i will have a mass shedding.
Although i have bought 3 really nice wigs and several hats from surburban turban, its all bloomin rotten, it feels like the cancer is making a statement “look what an absolute powerful bitch i am” , which is daft as its not the cancer, its the chemo telling the cancer to FEC off.
I am back working this week for 2 days and 2 days next week and realise i shall be wearing a wig. People will say kind things am sure but i think i would prefer to be ignored. I suppose until it happens, i don’t know how i shall feel, have never been bald before. My husband is very upset about it as he feels it is bringing it home hard, his much loved wife is properly poorly. He has offered to shave his head in solidarity. I suggested if he really wants to join in, go have the next FEC instead of me.
End of the day, i am powerless over my hair loss so will just get on with it. If i can handle diagnosis, surgery, chemo, rads well can handle temporary hair loss too. Hair loss won’t kill me, the alternatice could.
Much love
Pixie xxxxx
Hi Fazo,
I understand how you’re feeling, I was the same. I tried the coldcap for my first session (due for No3 Tomorrow) which didn’t work for me. About18 days after the 1st session, I felt the tingling sensation and hair began to fall…I was actually happily plucking bits out in our local and due to this I met a lovely lady who’s been through BC twice and made a new friend.
I so agree that people have paid me more compliments now than ever when I had full head of hair…no-one has yet said I look good bald, I can honestly say I don’t know quite how I will deal with that one and may not be responsible for my actions…
I’m in the starting chemo in March thread and some of the ladies on there are much braver than me. It has taken me a good few weeks of avoiding looking in the mirror to accept myself as bald and to a certain extent I still don’t and have hung on to the last few wisps for dear life, but my hair was very important to me. It doesn’t matter how many time people say it will grow back, it’s now we’re going through this and it is hard to deal with. However, I have got a little better this last week and gone without my hat in the house and have ‘revealed’ myself to a couple of people . I have a lovely wig which I wear for going out, apart from it being lighter that my normal hair colour it is fab.
For me, it is very important to look normal and try and carry on with life as I did before, (I still work with my hat on), go out and try and do my exercise class albeit not as frequently, this works for me at this time and I hope you find you’re way through as easily as possible.
Love KQ
As someone who’s come through and out the other side, I can only
empathise. Losing my hair was THE hardest, most emotional thing.
Eventually my wig and I became friends because although the scarves
matched etc I felt they told everyone I had cancer. When I was home
though, I often didn’t wear anything, and I kind of split my friends
into two groups - those who could cope with my bare head and those who I
didn’t think would…
Hang on in there… I can now feel the wind in my hair again (and it’s curly!!)
Jane
Hi Fazo
Its hard losing your hair, I am sat here bald as a coot after having lovely thick shoulder length hair, at 49 it was the only thing I really still liked , never minded going out without makeup but my hair was my " Crowning glory " I started to loose mine badly 2 weeks after 1st FEC I cried like a baby when I was shedding it then one afternoon sat in front of the dressing table mirror and shaved it off to a No 3, it was my way of copeing , It was still hard when it all went eventually and took me 3 days to look in the mirror properly but you do eventually accept it, you have to really , Try to look on it as part of the recovery process, to get better you need chemo to have chemo we sacrifice our hair its the only way I could deal with it
Good luck with your treatment remember your hair will grow back I know its a long old process but we will get there
Love Janice x
Hi Ladies, thanks for the replies. It’s such an ease to my mixed emotions about hair loss, to know I am not going completely insane and in fact most women feel like this in the interim.
My head has been mega sore today, ( a bit like I had slept in a tight pony tail all night!) I have really thick and lots of hair, so I know this is going to shed for some time yet.
I have my wig fitting tomorrow, I am going with an open mind, but I do know that I want to feel quite glam and Girly and maybe even a bit show offy with the one that chooses me, lol. I am also wondering wether it is worth investing in a bed hat, cus I have no idea how cold my head will feel at night? I also wonder if any of u gals have tried head wear with " fringes" built into them? I agree with Jane that scarves are a little obvious so I am not overly excited about getting into a tangle with head scarves and all the styles I could possibly muster up, just for it to fall off at the most inconvenient time, lol as my designer techniques leave a lot to be desired!
My profile picture is my daughter, she had her long hair cut alongside me as she wanted to donate to children with cancer, between us we donated over 60 cm in length of our hair to a good cause, that made the process so worth while, so for now I am sporting a very short bob do.
Will let u know how the wig fitting goes tomorrow! Xxx
Hi Fazo,
Good to see that you’re getting some replies to your questions about hair, and hope you’re getting used to these new forums.
Could I suggest you give the helpline here a ring they will be able to put you in touch with our ‘HeadStrong’ service who will give you information on how to look after your hair and scalp as well as different headwear. Calls to the helpline are free, 0808 800 6000 lines open at 9am today until 5pm (Mon to Fri) and Sat 10am - 2pm.
Take care,
Jo, Facilitator
Hi Fazo, I’m due to start chemo this week and like you feel very emotional about losing my hair, more so than my boob ( which will be going after chemo). Your daughter sounds fab for getting her hair cut to support you and donate to other children- what a star!!! My girl is 10 and also wanted to support me and is doing the race for life in july - already raised 265 pounds - sooooo proud!!! When we are down about this bloody crap disease we can draw strength from our kids - they’ll keep their bald mums going!! EmX
After one treatment of Chemo my hair started coming out in clumps, couldn’t wait to have my head shaved as in the shower of not getting away from handful after handful of hair was way too tramatic for me. I can now look in the mirror and say Thank Heavens it is all shaved off and not coming out in my hands anymore! That was not a fun experience, very emotional. Tip-- Before Chemo just get your head shaved-so much more less tramatic then the mess I experienced in the shower. It will grow back eventually and Bald is Beautiful 
I went for my wig fitting today and I have to say it was a very enlightening experience. I came away with two wigs in the end! They look better than my own hair at the minute, so I am looking forward to wearing them, looking all glam and chic! My hair has really been shedding well, I had to wear my bed cap at tea time to stop my hair from falling into my food! Lol. I am slowing adjusting to accepting this next stage now I have good alternate head gear as I know I won’t be sporting the bald look ( I am just not brave enough for that) hubby reckons I should shave my head now I have nice wigs to wear, as he feels the loss won’t be as traumatic, so dependant on the amount of shedding I get in the next couple of days, I may very well be getting the hair clippers out by the weekend.
Hugs to all xxx
Hi there, After my first fec chemo on the 28th April my hair has also started coming out in clumps, I had a wig fitting and love my wig, I shook my head around like a lunatic to make sure it didnt fly off !!! I am also feeling very emotional about it, more so than having the lumpectomy, I dont want people to look at me and say “she has Cancer” I want to try and stay me. I have a final wig fitting on Wednesday 16th May so Weds night my 21 year old daughter will be shaving it off for me at home with the dog clippers lol, I couldnt sit at the hairdressers and have it done. I cannot see myself going outside bald, or even with a turban or scarf. my second fec is on the 21st May so iwill be sporting my wig then. I wish you well with the rest of your treatment, would be nice to swap moans etc with someone who knows what it is like. much love to you. Caryn