I’m new to the forum & looking to share experiences with anyone who has gone on to start a family after metastatic cancer diagnosis? I was diagnosed in August 2008 and am ER and Her2 positive. I had a small lesion on my liver which shrank during chemo so is believed to have been a cancer spread. I had FEC & taxotere chemo followed by radiotheraphy. I’ve since been on Tamoxifen and Herceptin. I’m really well and live life as normal now. I am 37 and desperate to try for a baby but my oncologist has recently advised that I shouldn’t come off the meds because they don’t know what will happen. Anyone in a similar position?
There are forum users who have gone on to have babies after treatment, and am sure if they see this post will give you some much needed support. In the meantime I have put for you below the link to BCC’s publication Fertility issues and breast cancer which I hope you find helpful. Also our helpline team will be only too happy to talk to you about this subject. They’re here to support you. Calls are free 0808 800 6000 lines open Mon-Fri 9-5 and Sat 10-2
Hey sarah
My names connie im new too
Im 23 soon to be 24 (eeeee)
And was diagnosed with breast cancer 31st dec 2012 and on 4th feb 2013 found it had spread to my liver.
I have several lesions.
I have hhada left masectomy chemo radiotherapy and herceptin
Treatment seems to be going well ( soon to be a year and has flown by)
Although im alot younger it appear we share the same view in my life plan I didn’t want to start a family til I was thirty but having this diagnosis part of me is a little heart broken that this decision has been taken away.
I am estrogen and progesterone sensitive so double wammy
It is upsetting to see friends have babies and I have two sibling who talk about having children and one has one and another on the way. But on the other hand no one knows whats around the corner.
I too have been advised nt to have children naturally in the future because of the risk.
But there could be other options
To have a surrogate so it will still be your flesh and blood but some else will be carrying it
The only negative to this as part of the exciting journey to being a mother is “growing” the baby yourself and feling it etc
Adoption I feel this is turning two negatives into a positive as a child needs a loving home and you have love to give although it is a brave decision
What does your partner think?
Ive been with my boyfriend 6 years and he sees my health as the most important thing and as we nt quite there with the family planing he finds it difficult to think about the options as he is nt ready so cannt make thw right decision.
Another concern of mine and although I try and think positive and live my life exactly how I wanted part of my coping and dealing is looking at the worsy case senario which is how selfish would it be oc me to have a child and knowing theres a chance it could be motherless and to leave my boyfriend grieving andd having to bring up a child alone.
It breaks my heart that this feeling haunts me and I shouldnt even think it but ive seen so many kids and young people loose parents to cancer and there is alway something there that they never had or was never prepared for because that parent wasnt there.
I hope this is of some help and although negative at points which I HATE!! But its what this monster does at time
But always hoping x
Hi Connie and welcome to the forums where I am sure you soon have lots of support from your fellow users
In addition, please call our helpliners for further practical and emotional support when you need to, lines are open during the week 9-5 and on Saturdays 10-2 on 0808 800 6000 and our team are here for you
You may find the following link to further secondary information and support ideas helpful too:
I am 35 and have mets to the bone, liver and lung (diagnosed Oct 13 after initial breast cancer in 09). I also had FEC and radiotherapy and am strongly HER2 positive. I’m just about to head towards my 6th cycle of Docetaxal this time around, with Herception and Pertuzumab. Its so awful to have this in the first place let alone knowing it may have taken away any chance of having children especially after coming through it a first time and thinking you were getting back to being ‘normal’. I have been told that I will be put on another hormone treatment once the chemo finishes so I just assumed from the off that ended any thoughts of having children now. I feel so sad for myself (although probably more for my husband) but he would rather have me here with a good quality of life than the alternative. I never had the conversation with my onc as I hadn’t considered if may be a possibility but I would be really interested to know if anyone has discussed this with their onc and knows any differently. There is still a big part of me that in just reading all the good posts on forums like these that sees a whole lot of hope out there!
Yes i had docetaxel i was same hair loss everywhere except eyebrows and lashes but did thin. I used have two days of stiiff muscles only sick once as didnt take tablet intime but use to take regularly just incase. Main thing was fatigue its such a strange feeling ur nt sleepy but it soo hard to find energy lol. A tip a lafy told me to help with chemo is plan something at the end of each cycle something you love like a walk at a country park or a show as it keeps you focused.
Herceptin ok too just fatigue again plus rad and chemo still in system as can take a year.
Hope treatment is going ok for you ladiea.
Im still on herceptin and its working well gt my quarterly check up so pet scan tomo fingers cross ok as found abnormalities in middle or chest and left arm so might mean another treatment finger cross as liver mets are shrinking.
I think the new treatment for her 2+ is TDM1 which is to be the next wonder drug to help us control and live.
Id read a little does seem amazing looking on breakthrough and royal marsden for info.
Regards to baby topic when i was first diagnosed and told id have chemo etc and asked about babies i was reffered to gynae to discuss and the fertility clinic at guys there was a mixture of fews even before i was told it was secondary. The hospital said that they would not recommend ne conceiving naturally as i am both oestrogen and progesterone positive but the clinic was a little patronizing in a way as they were like what do you think happens with the hormones when ur pregnant and there is nothing to suggest either way how it affects the cancer. Well as it turned out as i was about to get my eggs frozen i was told it was sec and had to start chemo immediately. I must say my oncologist is fab she tells it as it is but will still support any decision you make and i do feel im in the best hands possible.
Also this is a little bit of negativity i do apologise but its what is always in my mind and from what i gather urs too. There is a lady on facebook callex jen from usa she was 25 wen diagnosed with breast cancer and wanted people to follow her story wel she had treatment and i think was due to have more but feel pregnant and had a little boy but ubfortunately the cancer spread to a few places and they have told her that they are going to just keep her comfortable she is starting herceptin she has a another child and husband so i can only imagine how she feels knowing she cannot see her child grow up and leaving her partner it breaks my heart.
And when ever i think of kids this is my worst fear leaving a child motherless and a partner to raise them while grieving and yoy also have to think how do you think ur partner can cope.
I love my partner to the end of the universe and back but i honestly know that if the docs turn round and say this is it he will shatter and i dont think hel be able to put himself together so i worry .
I always try and think positive and i know there are amazing things on the cards but you do have face reality and have back up plans in place.
But also remember do what feels right right now. Life is for living otherwise none of this is worth it and even one month of love and happiness is better then fear and regret.
Ive made a little promise to myself that if i reach my 30s and all is well and im in a form of remission i will let mother nature decide if i will be blessed with children. As im 24 atm and still gt some rebelling to get out of my system haha
Take care ladies let me know how u all are doing xxx
haha