Hi Cazze
I know, I tend to agree. I might wait a bit before I make a final decision. They sent the paperwork for me to fill in and let them know if there are any dates that are best to be avoided regarding surgery, and I thought “Oh hell”, not sure if I should go ahead. My partner thinks I should just accept things the way they are and not put myself through any more, so I am definitely not just going to jump into it. I had a total abdominal hysterectomy last summer, even more reason not to put myself through any more surgery. I’ve never been very happy about my hysterectomy muffin top belly since the operation. Always had a flat tummy and now hate this, so when I saw the Plastic Surgeon about my breasts I jokingly said “Can’t you take some of this bloopy awful belly and add it to my boobs”. He said if you take any flesh from the tummy I’d have a looser tummy even more, and he looked at me and said “I can’t give you a tummy tuck”. Then he started to have a good look at it, and he said he could possibly do a revision of the scar and tissue, which would effectively be what they call a lower tummy tuck, which would give me a longer scar, but actually tighten all the scar and loose flesh up, which is very tempting. Having said all of that it doesn’t look horrendous or anything, I’m still a size 10, but unfortunately don’t like the looseness that is there now.
I have got used to the aches and pains in my breasts now though. At the beginning they were really painful. Initial reconstruction made me feel as if I had two very large bricks in my chest, but then later, after things went wrong, and then they started rebuilding them up gradually by injecting them every few months that wasn’t too bad. I have to say I still get aches and twinges 3 years on, and I have a degree of numbness in certain parts, but I suppose it’s what we have to put up with. I still hurt sometimes if I roll over too quickly in bed. They’re also quite hard. They’re not soft and spongey at all like our own boobs.
I was fortunate in that I didn’t have any radiotherapy or chemotherapy, or depending on the way you look at it, maybe unfortunate. They said the radical surgery, plus the fact it wasn’t in my nodes, the grading of the cancer and the fact they said although the cancer could easily spread to another breast it wasn’t one of the more aggressive ones for spreading around the body, if that makes sense. I had a bit of a liver scare a few months ago, when they found two patches on my liver, and they said liver mets couldn’t be excluded, and I thought “Oh my god, they made a huge mistake”. Then after the MRI they found out the two patches were a cyst and a hemangioma. So when I was undergoing my recon I didn’t have to wait for radiotherapy or chemo. I have heard of problems with reconstruction and patients who have had rads though on a few occasions. My Surgeon said to me at the time that if I needed rads or chemo, (this was in the first few weeks before they knew which way they were treating me), that reconstruction would be delayed.
You think at the time everything is going to be straightforward don’t you. You never envisage all the crap. You tend to think it’s bad enough having the cancer, and having to go through all the surgery anyway, you don’t realise you could be going back and forward for months and months trying to get sorted.
Anyway I have waffled on enough. Hope you get sorted. I am sure you will get there in the end.
Julie x