Hello,
Its 4 months since I was first diagnosed with BC and am currently going through chemo. I’m now at the stage where I think I need some form of counselling to be able to come to terms with the issues I guess we all have to face.
I feel like an onion with many layers of concerns and worries from the top layer which is how do I live my life from now on knowing that BC could recur at any given moment to, I guess, the bottom layer which is ,if it does, how do I come to terms with possibly dying and the whole concept of death…
I have the opportunity to engage in counselling. I suppose I’m quite apprehensive about that as I once did a Transactional Analysis course in which in order to become certificated I had to undergo therapy myself and that threw upmany issues to do with my own childhood and parenting. I thought I’d resolved those issues but I’m guessing now I have’t cos they are re-surfacing now.
I would like to know what experiences of counselling are like.
Thanks for listening
Trish
Hi Trish,
I was diagnosed in March last year (age 34). I had a right mastectomy and total ANC followed by chemo and then rads. Anyway, when I was on chemo I really started to struggle with the emotional side effects of the treatment. I had pills to help with nausea and other ‘physical’ symptoms but the psychological effects were not looked at.
So, after a couple of chemo sessions I decided to arrange some counselling via my local support centre. When I had my first session I was quite anxious about it. Well, I had no idea I had soooo many things on my mind that I’d kept quiet about until I started talking to my counsellor! It was great being able to totally offload onto someone who was unrelated to me and wasn’t about to burst into tears if I discussed the possibility of me dying. I really found it very beneficial and soon booked another session.
I have had counselling fairly regularly ever since. Although I haven’t had any since the beginning of feb I do actually have a session booked for later this month as so much has happened that I really need to talk about.
Personally I would definately recommend counselling. I know its not to everyones taste but I would struggle without it I reckon as I’d prob just bottle things up,
Take care and let us know how it goes if you decide to go for it,
Kelly
-x-
Hi Trish
I had right mastectomy in December, plus nodes removed. No further treatment other than Tamoxifen for next 5 years. I accessed counselling through the Big C centre attached to my hospital. I could have had 5 sessions FOC (Free of Charge) but found I only needed 3 . It was extremely helpful to talk to someone about my fears, loss of control etc The good thing about going through the Big C is that all counsellors are particularly trained to deal with cancer patients.
Give it a go-what have you got to lose?
Gill
Hi Trish,
I too had counselling. It was recommended for me as my mum had died three weeks before I was dx - just too much to cope with all at once. I found it really useful to have an hour a week that was all mine, and where I could off-load thoughts & fears that I couldn’t at home - partly as none of us likes to look stupid before our friends & family, and partly as we are all trying to protect family members.
I echo the others, whilst having supportive friends and family I found that I was “protecting” their feelings by not saying exactly what I really thought. Also I was scared of becoming a bore on the topic of cancer. And the fears that I have, of recurrence, of dying…they can be too upsetting for those close to us, who say “dont say that” or “dont worry you will be fine”. I have ahd one counselling session so far and have another booked in, what a relief, what a weight off my shoulders. Although I hav had to find someone privately (and pay), it is a lady who works one day a week in a hospice so she has experience of cancer patients.
I would strongly encourage you to see a counsellor. As for the parenting and TA thing, there is no need to go into it all apart from where it affects your feelings re illness and control (yeh, Ok I know that’s a big chunk of it, Trish…) I am a part-qualified counsellor myself and was taking my final course when I had to drop out for BC treatment, I will hope to start again in September. So maybe I am biassed towards counselling!
Good luck
Louise x
Hi there
I was dx last August and started chemo in Sept. and have just had my op and am due to start rads in the next two weeks. I found it very hard to come to terms with the chemo etc so I was asked if I would like counselling as they do it at my Oncology centre. I took up the offer and started in Oct. and its still ongoing.
It has helped me no end in coming to terms with BC and coping with all the treatments as well as looking forward to the future.
We have never really looked into my childhood except touching on it once its more in the here and now. My counsellor finishes each session with deep relaxation.
Its been an absolute saver to me.
Best wishes Alison x
Hi Trish
I know what you mean about digging up all the unresolved issues from the past and how that can have advantages and disadvantages. I went to counselling many years ago because I was suffering from panic attacks, brought on probably because I had several horrible things happen in my life all at once. I couldnt even go to the supermarket without running away. Anyway, the counsellor saved my life. We did talk about my childhood but it was only in passing and in truth, I probably brought it up, not her. She focused on the here and now and improving my coping strategies. She made me realise that I did have the power to go forward and help me find the answers myself - and we did loads of relaxation especially breathing exercises which really helps with panic. I still use her techniques to this day. I think she was a cognitive behavioural therapist who do tend to deal with the present. the psychoanalysts tend to follow Freud’s theories and attempt to unlock the past. Personally, I want the past to stay locked up and look forward!
Cathy
xxx
Hi
It was the best thing I ever did, was asked questions no one else would have dared to ask, its amazing what your answers are and what awful things we store in our brains. Definately beneficial, get any help you can
Ann
I was offered a referral for couple of sessions of counselling by my oncologist back in January as I’m about to finish my appointments at the end of this month and it was to help me through any feelings of being cut adrift. However, he told me the clinic had to get the permission of my GP and when I broached the subject with him he said absolutely not as the counselling attached to the breast clinic is with a clinical psychologist. According to my GP it would be totally unneccesary.To be honest, I was quite disgusted with my GP’s attitude which is very much “you’ve had all the treatment, now you have to just get on with it”. I don’t want to go to the female GP who referred me for my breast lump as she is his wife and has the same no nonsense approach to patients. I also don’t feel there is anyone else in the practice I could go to - there was one who specialised in patients with emotional and mental health problems but he retired a few months and to be frank a couple of the others just shouldn’t be doctors IMO as they don’t look at you when you go in and are incredibly rude (men of course!) I think what gets me as well is that my surgery has been totally supportive all the way through this, yet they won’t help with this one last thing; I expected them to be sympathetic as one of the receptionists also has BC.
I’ve been referred to a menopause clinic by my oncologist and have an appointment next week, so I’m hoping maybe I will be able to discuss my emotional issues with them (I had a panic attack at home the other day because I made a mistake doing some invoicing for my OH). I’m hoping they may be able to put me in touch with someone. I had a chat to the nurse who did my Herceptin and said it was downright unfair if I ended up having to pay for this purely because of my GP’s attitude. My OH says he wishes he had gone in with me now as he would have torn him off a strip.
Hi Trish
I echo what everyone else is saying - you have nothing to lose by giving it a go.
I had my 3rd session of therapy today - it is really tough going emotionally for me - as I am not one to talk about my feelings - and it has brought up so much but I know it is going to be worth it in the end. I come out of there absolutely drained - but am sure it will get easier as time goes on and as I sort myself out.
There is no doubt you have to develop a ‘relationship’ with your counsellor. I tried counselling 2 years ago but it did not work for me that time - I just could not ‘gel’ with that counsellor so I suppose a lot depends on the counsellor too. We cannot feel at ease with everyone.
Good luck to you
Love
Fiona
xx
I’ve just had my first counselling session on Mon so I was interested by this thread. I finished radiotherapy middle of Feb after WLE and chemo and am now on Herceptin. It was approx 2 weeks after radio had finished that it hit me and I became tearful not with friends but usually during my appts with my onc or GP. I approached my BCN and have arranged some counselling. This was a big thing for me as I usually hide my feelings and the shutters come up.
I would definitely go for it as I was worried that if I didn’t sort it out now I would be in a worse state later on.
Take care
Angela