Has anyone seen my libido?


Its been 2 and a bit years since diagnosis. Since my type of cancer sometimes comes back in the ovaries or tummy, and its oestrogen positive, I had my ovaries out. That makes me post menopausal and a candidate for letrozole over a 5 year term. Two years later and the word “frustration” comes to mind. If I took oestrogen despite having no ovaries, I may be able to do my 10/10 thing again, as opposed to being at 1/10 for the last 2 years with no room for improvement. Oestrogen is like a bullet to the head in my case though, so cannot exercise this option. Does anyone else know of any oestrogen free aphrodisiac that I could use, or anything else? I am only 39 for crying out loud and I lived!..now I refuse to give up on this…as I love my hubby very much.

Any glass is half full words of wisdom, experience or success stories?

If you find the answer = let me know!


me too - im a 38 year old who hasnt had ovaries for 2.5 years!

Although there is a humourous approach being taken here, I am sure like me, you all feel that this is a very difficult and stressful time and one which is not discussed very freely by the professionals. Not in my case anyway. I had a hysterectomy 9 yrs ago with ovaries removed, for other health issues. I managed to keep in touch with ‘my libido’ and my life marched on quite happily. That was until last August when I was diagnosed with bc. Since then, surgery, then chemo, then rads and now Herceptin and Letrozole has ensure that’my libido’ is well and truly in hiding. The love for my husband is very much alive and I so much would like to have the ‘physical life’ we had but all the treatment and Letrozole have had a very detrimental effect. My GP has been helpful with a prescription for the physical effects of the Letrozole but ‘mrs libido’ remains in hiding. I would be keep to hear about anyones success in finding it! PS I am 50 and still consider myself in the younger side of middle age!!! Take care all. J.

I take letrozole too, am in my 50,s and would have described myself as a young 40 yr old:) that was until this crappy disease hit me 9 mths ago and I now feel like an old woman! My libido has definitely left the building and shows no sign of return. I also am plagued with cystitis and am currently in bed suffering with it. My dear partner is so good about it but I think he believes that it will all clear up but I’m not convinced and worry about how this will effect us in the long run?
I know that it’s only natural that I feel this way but I’m really concerned… Tried Replens etc. No change sex still too sore .

My Libidissimo was hiding BEFORE all this BC lark and now Letrazole! Haven’t got a HOPE now… unless someone comes up with something on here… Jane

Hi Ladies

I think it says it all that there are very few replies to this post!!!

I am 59, not as young as some of you but before BC had a fab sex life with my then newish husband. Now I just feel totally empty emotionally - not just sex wise but emotions in general. I find it hard to actually have real feelings about anything. I am 100% sure this has been caused by Zoladex, Tamoxifen,and a total hysterectomy.

Oestrogen would be the answer but I am 100% oestrogen pos. I am getting so desperate that I am considering a course of topical oestrogen cream - think it comes in pessaries. Jury is out on this as Oncs are not sure if it transfers to the rest of the body.

I have tried Silk, Replens etc. Doesn’t really help as desire not there in the first place aaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhh


Hi Grace

I agree the limited responses is likely due to people ‘not having the answers’. I am 50 and continue on Herceptin and Letrozole after chemo and rads over last winter. I started to think I ‘should’ pick up on my physical relationship with my husband earlier on in the Summer. However, despite trying Replens, KY, etc. it is a disaster. My libido is zilch and I fear for my relationship. My husband is a bit younger than me and despite him being very understanding during my active treatment I know he yearns for the old me back. He thinks what he sees is the old me, but I know different; she has gone forever. I too feel a bit detached and cold. I too had a hysterectomy 9 years ago and I think this has all impacted on me feeling less than feminine and certainly not attractive. I am scared of not knowing how or where to turn to get help, I so want to feel the feelings I used to feel, but where to go. How do we get that desire when everthing we are taking to reduce the liklihood of a recurrence is making our body think the opposite. My colleague (also a good friend) said to me today that she thought I was angry. Yes, I am bloody angry! I don’t know where to vent it and don’t know if venting it is going to make any difference. I would appreciate any advice that anyone might have. Thanks and take care all. J.

Hello All

Please can I join you?I think I qualify! Three years on and libido well and truly gone as has the ability to experience any pleasant bodily sensations.

Have concluded it’s complicated and here’s why:
Body is in shock at having a bit lopped off
Can’t bond with mx/recon effort
Chemo somehow knocked out the sex drive
Tamox makes me depressed
Don’t feel attractive anymore
Do feel angry, lack confidence and sad
So it’s really a bunch of things but I keep thinking about what Christine Northrup says in “Women’s Bodies, Women’s Wisdom” - she says libido can temporarily disappear while we sort ourselves out and she seems to think it can resurface when we get through the tough stuff, especially for those who have someone they want to be intimate with. So hopefully, and you will hate me for this, time to heal emotionally and physically might help. Of course we’d all like that to be in days rather than years but I’m convinced healing takes much longer than we are led to believe.

ps. She also says we can heal from anything, even the loss of body parts. I hope she is right.

Love to all

Jane xx

Just wanted to say, What a great thread title, I am in stitches :slight_smile:
I was out shopping earlier and there were some pink frilly things in the window of Ann Summers as I walked by, they looked very much reduced but I’m not sure what your libido looks like. Heck, i’m not even sure i would recognise my own…