have been told i have breast cancer

hi everyone found out last thurs that i have breast cancer. even before we went to hospital i told my partner that it was the 9/9/09 and only bad things will happen on this days god how right was i. it is like a death senetence. all i can think of is i wont see my son grow up. i have spent the last few days crying now i cant cry. not sleeping or eating just cant seem to get my head around it. have been told i will be going into hos on the 28th for the op and will be having chemo. i know this sounds shit but i am fed up of people asking how im feeling. have took a week of work just to get my head around it and now im thinking how the hell am i going to pay my mortgage after the op. has anyone any advice feel like i shld be organzing my funeral instead. all my family have been very supportive and couldnt have ask for a better cancer nurse than glenda never of the phone

Hello jordanelaine38 - I have found the best thing is to voice your fears on here and I have been amazed at the kind thoughts that have been returned. You will get so much support from this site. I find it is better than talking about it all the time to family, although we have done our fair share of that. You can express fears that would scare them silly, but you won’t shock anyone on here because they have all had them.

I was diagnosed last month and am due for surgery on the 23rd. Yes, it is so scary. Everyone says that I will feel better when I have a treatment plan and I am not sure about that, but they are convinced that is the case, so we shall both have to trust that it is so. Treatments are so much better nowadays.

It takes time to get your head around this thing that ‘only happens to other people’, but the brain has amazing capacity for coping and I think you do sort of get used to the idea. I find I have good days and bad days.

With regards to your mortgage, it would be a good idea to contact the Citizens’ Advice Bureau to see what financial help you are entitled to. They can at least point you in the right direction.

Thinking of you.

Love Ann xx

sorry you have had to join us on here, but you will find loads of support and its a great place to come for a cry and a giggle as well when you are upto it.
i had my funeral planned and everytime i listened to Run by snowpatrol (my funeral song) i burst out crying, thinking about my leaving my little boy to cope after i’ve gone.
Now i’m only 5 months post diagnosis and am no longer thinking like this - i’m actually planning my future now not my funeral!
Its ok to feel whatever you feel right now - there is no right way or wrong way to deal with this. Its a tough journey to be on but with support it IS managable.
Financially if you live in england you can get free prescritions - see your gp for a medical exemption form. Also if you have critical illness insurance on your mortgage and the type of cancer you have is invasive you may want to look into claiming on this. Have a look at cancerbackup as well for booklets on Financial support, employment issues etc.
Best of luck
xx

So sorry you have had to join our exclusive club but welcome anyway!
Like Pixie I’m only 5 months post diagnosis and its true you do get your head around it. Im looking forward to the future now, nearly finished chemo (2 more), and then radiotherapy but believe me it is all ‘doable’ and the girlies on here are such help, you can talk to us and there is usually someone on here regardless of the time day or night.
Just try and keep positive, keep yourself busy so you dont sit and dwell on things and take each day as it comes. It is ok to rant and rave but try to laugh too, its the best medicine!!
Love n hugs xxmumszyxx

jordanelaine38

I was diagnosed the day before you and everything you are feeling seems to be the same as me!! I dont have a date yet but should know on tuesday.

This site is fab for support. Have you arranged to have a peer yet?

I sent out a massive cyberhug and kiss to you and you really are not alone, though it may feel like it!! At least your Nurse has called you, mine hasn’t.

It is a horrible, lonely illness and no one can get in your head to know exactly what you are feeling but everyone here does understand.

Take care

Julia xxx

Hi Julia and Jordanelaine

Just wanted to say I felt exactly like you two 6 weeks ago when diagnosed, but am beginning to get my head round it. Like Ann said, your brain does sort of get used to the idea and the horrible feeling you have now will pass with time. In the meantime, do use this site and every other support that is offered to you and ask plenty of questions. If you have kids it is hard in one way but I have found they keep me going and by “acting normal” in front of them I actually feel more normal myself.

Please do PM me if you like and ask anything you want. I had a stage 1, Grade 2 tumour,size 11mm, had Wide Local Excision and Sentinel Node Biopsy on 21st Aug and am now on Tamoxifen and waiting to start radiotherapy.

Lots of love and hugs to you both, you can get through this…

Anna xx

Hi all,

A big hug for you Jordonelaine, it is a terrible shock isn’t it? I was diagnosed in May 2007 and I remember, just like you, looking at my daughter and thinking I would never see her grow up but I’m still here over 2 years later.

I way I coped was to take one stage at a time and try not to think too far ahead. I know it’s easier said than done but it does help. So surgery first, once I’d had my mastectomy I felt a huge sense of relief, it was a huge step towards getting rid of the cancer. I was only out of action for about 10 days and then I was back to looking after my daughter (who was just over 2 at the time) If you’re anything like me you will amaze yourself at what you can cope with.

Hi Julia, you do feel lonely yes, like you’re walking around in a bubble (I still feel like that sometimes) the world keeps turning although yours feels like it has ended, I totally understand that and that is why this site is so important, no-one need feel that they are alone.

If I can help anyone at all (I’ve had everything, surgery, chemo, rads, Herceptin and currently on Tamoxifen) then I’m here, just shout.

Take care, love

Veggie

Hi Jordanelaine,

Sorry to have to welcome you to the site, I was diagnosed just over 3 weeks ago and I too have found it very hard not to think about death, I’ve even booked an appointment to see my solicitor to arrange my “will” tomorrow!

All I can say is these feelings are normal when someone tells you that you have breast cancer, this website is brilliant and everyones comments really do help! Although I still think about death, part of me feels like I may just beat this thing! Try not to give up before you’ve even started! I am still waiting for results to determine my treatment and the waiting is really hard but just talk to people on here or just read other peoples stories, it realy does help!

May God Bless You! xxx

Hello everyone
just wanted to send a big hug to all of you dealing with diagnosis, it feels overwhelming, doesn’t it? but somehow you get through it, as veggiebean says, one stage at a time. When I was diagnosed I found the loneliness the worst thing, felt so isolated and depressed.
This site is such a help, and as others have said, we are all in the same boat, and someone has an answer to every query.
I hope everything goes well for you all, this is all doable and we can all get through it
love to you all, Monica x

Hi everyone,
Well you´ve got another new member! Confirmed on Thursday, told on Friday it was a lot bigger than first thought, Grade 5! Been told it´ll be tough but hopefully not a disaster.Biopsy on Tuesday. Shed a few tears but now got my head round the fact its got to get chopped off and got a lot of chemo ahead of me,starting to feel more positive. Got great family and friends around me and finding this forum and how upbeat you guys are has been a great help. after 39 years I might finally end up with nice hair!!

Hi Andi

Welcome to the discussion forums, you’ve come to the right place for support as the many informed users of this site have a wealth of information between them.

You may find it useful to contact our free helpline on 0808 800 6000, opening hours are Monday to Friday 9.00 – 5.00 and Saturday 9.00 – 2.00.

Best Wishes
June, moderator

Just wanted to send a hug to all of you who have been recently diagnosed… i was diagnosed in May 2008 and it really does get easier once treatment is underway… i’ve just had a 2nd risk reducing mastectomy last monday (due to bad family history…)

andi - i’ve never heard of a grade 5… the grades are normally 1-3 (how different from normal the cancer cells are) and the stages are 0-4 (how far the cancer has spread…) sorry to hear yours is bigger than you first thought… are you going to have chemo before surgery - they sometimes do that to shrink the tumour i had that with my first mastectomy last year…

Take care everyone and keep talking on here…

Theresa x

Thanks Theresa for your response,

At this stage I am still not sure whats going on, to make life a little more confusing I am living in Portugal at the minute and have been diagnosed here so not sure if there grading is the same as UK. Flying back to Scotland tomorrow, doctor there already sent urgent referal to hospital and they have my pics ect. so at the minute still abit unsure but know its not good. Going to phone CC nurse in a bit, either cheer me up or depress me even more. Dont know if chemo will start before or after op, find out soon I hope. Staying positive and trying not to think the worst. Best diet I´ve ever been on, at least something goods come out of it!
I´ll keep you updated!

Oh Andi - that is tough going through all this whilst you are living abroad… I know there are a few girls on here who live in France and Spain now… but I’m not sure if i ever seen anyone mention Portugal… I hope you get some answers soon and that it is not as bad as you fear so far…

Theresa

Just spoken with CC nurse, feel better now. The grade 5
that they told me is the grading of how likely it is to be cancerous
(higher than 95%). So I wont find out til after biopsy what grading it really is. Can´t actually believe how positive I´m feeling now, could all change within minutes though i suppose. Would appear it is probably likely that I will have chemo first then op as it is quite large. Have to wait and see what the next few days bring but will be relying on people on here to prepare me for whats coming next. It is great to know I´m not alone.
Have to go and scrub my shower then away for a wee beer I think, listen to everyone moan about trivial things in life!

Hugs to all xx