i’m feeling pretty miserable today, its 2 weeks since my first chemo and my head started to get very sore last night so i expect my hair will be on its way soon, my hair in other places has already started packing! I decided i’d better look at wigs now and not even left the house yet and finding it very stressful.
I had cancer as a teenager also but the wig i got then was awful and i only wore it once then stuck to my trusty bandanas, this time though I have 3 small children (4,3 and 9 months) so think a wig is the best way to go - my son has just finished chemo for Rhabdomyosarcoma so my children are fully aware of what happens with chemo (magic medicine as we call it now) and hair and things and although they will inevitably see me with no hair i think i need a wig for going out shopping and things.
I’m having chemo at Freemans in Newcastle but I live just over an hour away from there. The hospital made out the prescription to a shop in Newcastle which I haven’t been to yet but have been looking for somewhere closer to home as I don’t really wanna spend an hour on the road in this weather to look at wigs. I could also combine the trip with collecting my prosthetic boob but the thought of that is making me feel sick too and now i’m crying.
I’ve spoken to a wig shop near me this morning and they don’t accept the prescriptions but said that a shop about 20 minutes from me does. I spoke to the appliance office at the hospital to see if they could help withe finding a shop near me as i can’t face phoning round the ones in the yellow pages and all she could offer me off her list was Sunderland which is almost as far away as Newcastle. I asked if I could use the paperwork they sent me at a shop near me if i find one, she said no only the shop named on it, i asked if i could get other paperwork made out if i find somewhere near me and she said only if they are on her list but she’d already told me she only had newcastle and sunderland and one in hexham which is even further away. I’ve looked on the website for the place about 20 mins away in Darlington and the pics all look like wigs and I can’t see anything i like anyway and hate the thought of going into the shop.
i know i’ll have to bite the bullet and go and look and very soon too and also go and get measured and collect my boob but it all feels too much. i was feeling so positive over the last few days and been counting down and ‘looking forward’ to having my next (2nd) chemo on 5th January but my mood couldn’t be lower right now.
So sorry to moan on but needed to get it out. Thanks for reading if you got this far.
It is pretty miserable when the hair starts to go. But at least your scalp stops aching. The prescription thing is totally annoying though some hospitals will order in for you - ask the person who fits the boob for you, in their shoes I would be very helpful and I guess some of them may do the same. Maybe this will also help; the internet stores are usually quite good at finding a style that looks close to your normal hair if you send them a pic - there is one that I used who express delivered when my one and only wig blew off last Winter and I needed an urgent replacement so I could go to work! None of them are perfect but some are quite good - though i found it hard to accept as it was not my own hair.
Re the boob - most women I know foundthe prosthesis fitting a really distressing experience, even if they appeared cheerful with a sympathetic fitter. I think that all the physical changes do bring us down. It’s hard to be super cheerful about the prospect of wearing a prosthesis or even a recon and I know it can all feel too much. This may sound odd though and I hope it doesn’t but I’ve noticed that those women who are really upset in the beginning seem to do better in the long run. I think you are facing up to your losses very quickly and that’s really brave - took me ages to even accept I had lost anything.
The beauocracy, shopping etc is really exhausting. Maybe you could get a friend to advocate for you?
So sorry you’re having a bad day. I lost my hair to Taxotere 2 days before Christmas last year, when all wig shops were closed so my husband had to go and buy me some ‘emergency’ beanies as I couldn’t face going commando and I’m not really a bandana person, especially with the kids (7 and 10). I live in Darlington and also have my treatment at the Freeman. As I get treatment through my husbands private healthcare insurance I could not get a wig on the nhs but I did buy two wigs during the course of my treatment. The first I got from a shop in the Metro Centre, it cost £150 including wig hair spray (which smelt like cheap air freshner and was useless). My friend, a former hairdresser, trimmed the fringe as it kept falling across my eyes but ruined it so I bought my second wig from a shop on Borough Road, Middlesbrough which was only £79 but looked really good. The lady was really nice and had a private room out the back to try the wigs on, and will trim the wig if you need it. I can’t remember the name of the shop but if this is in your area, let me know and I will find out for you.
So sorry you are having a bad day - I can empathise. I have just had my second blast of chemo today and I had my wobbly day last week when my scalp started feeling really sore. I ended up shaving my head on saturday as I couldn’t stand the big clumps of hair falling out. Today was the first day I went out - I ended up just using a bandana as I didn’t feel comfortable in my wig (maybe need some practise round the house first).
No need to apologise for feeling down and this is the place to let it out - we understand as we have all been there. I see this site as a ‘huge cyber shoulder’ to cry on - no need to put on a brave face or be positive when in fact you feel rubbish! So let it out - don’t keep it bottled up!
Hi San
sorry you’re having a rough day. I am also from the NE (Sunderland) and will be having radiotherapy at the freeman (live in Sunderland). I know there is a support service for bc based in Darlington - maybe your BC nurse can give you more info and they might be able to help you. I got my wig at the metrocentre and its a nice wig but I rarely wear it - BoneyL you are right the stuff they sell you is hideous!
I hope things start to feel better - you have had more than your fair share of crap and deserve things to be better
I’m thinking of you
monica xx
Hi,San
I live in Hartlepool and I got my wig at the shop in Darlington. I had the choice of going there or to North Tees Chemo unit for one.
I chose the hairdressing shop as was sick of Hospitals.
A lovely girl gave me sound advise about having a wig as close to my own hair as possible. I was really glad I took her advise when the time came to wear it. Felt more confident when people didn’t even notice a change.
She orderd one for me in color and length as close to my own as she could. I am wearing it in the avatar.
There is a private room upstairs where they have hundreds of wigs.
Hope this helps darl.
Dont worry about moaning. We all do it.We all know what your going through. xxx
thanks for all your replies ladies, it really helps.
i’m feeling better today, i had set my mind last night that i was going to unload the children onto the other half’s mother and set off to newcastle today to get my boob and hopefully wig too but the little ones are choked with cold so not fair to dump them and when i tried to phone ‘the boob shop’ there was no answer anyway so guessing they must’ve closed for the whole holiday so looks like i’ll have to wait a bit longer.
I’m back at Newcastle on 5th January for next chemo so may have to wait till then if I don’t get a chance inbetween, hopefully my hair will hold on till then, it needs a wash really but daren’t, lol, will do it before I go trying wigs on though. may go tomorrow if he little ones are any better but then after that it’s new years day, then the weekend and then i’m up there on tuesday so no point making an extra trip on Monday.
Does anybody have the address or contact details for the place in Darlington? Not sure if I can use my Newcastle paperwork with them but might be worth a try.
I ordered two wigs online, but couldnt cope with wearing them. I decided to buy some scarves and went to accessorize with a friend. we chose some pretty sarongs for more of a gypsy look rather than trad scarves/bandanas. I decided to front it out and always dressed up, a bit rock chic to go with the scarf. I had pretty red and white ones with little coins around the edge, i had another with gold thread theough and fringing.
I wore it even when my hair started to come back. Plus baker boy hats are good as they come right down over your ears, perfect for winter chemo head. theres lots of large berets out there at the mo and as its winter no-one will notice. it gets harder in the summer but i just wore sunglasses all the time to hide my lack of eyelashes.
I had really long hair, 1 week before chemo i went and had it cut really funky short to get the kids used to the change. I bought granny night caps online but i never used them. The kids quickly got used to me with no hair, but i always wore a scarf round the house. after the second chemo my husband used the clippers on my hair so it wasnt so awful coming out in handfuls. the worst part really is the hair in the bed everyday. but as my onc said at least you dont have to have any waxing done for a while!
I had my wig prior to starting chemo as I was advised to get used to having it in the house on a polystyrene head. I only wore it 3 times - once on the day I had my head shaved and had the wig cut and fitted properly; once when a friend asked me to; and once when I felt like going out shopping in it. The lady who fitted it was good as she has had alopecia for 30 years so understands the trauma of hair loss. TBH, it was nice and really looked like my own hair at the time, but I just couldn’t bothered with all the faffing about putting it on. I also found when I went for chemo that all the ladies with short hair seemed to have the same wig in different colours! It’s now in its box under my bed and I still have all my other headwear - I feel if I get rid of it before my remission is up I may be tempting fate.
I wasn’t too fazed by my hair loss which surprised me as going to the hairdresser was something I had always spent lots of money on and I never missed getting my roots done every 5 weeks. I didn’t mind wearing different headgear and nice hats. However, after a year I became very bored as it was taking ages to grow back when I was on Herceptin. I started going out in it when it was a silver crew cut, I was just glad to have enough growth to cover me. It’s still silver over 2 years on, I’ve never bothered colouring it again.
Hi again San.
The details of Darlington shop.
CLINIC 36
32 Duke Street
Darlington
DL3 7AQ
For appointment call 01325 463836
I saw Louise. Got to be worth a try eh?
GOOD LUCK darl xxxx Rita
Thanks again for your replies, especially Rita for those details but I don’t need them now as I’m sitting typing this in my new wig
I decided to get my boob next Tues before I go for chemo but to make the trip for my wig today. I’ve gone for one quite like the style i had, slightly longer on the front, but a bit different colour, my hair was plain mousy brown but my wig is called chestnut so its kinda red/brown. its very nice and the lady in the shop was great. i’ve had my hair dyed quite a dark red before so the colour is great, the main thing that will take some getting used to is the volume of hair as my own hair is really thin so most of the wigs in the shop made my head look enormous, lol. i know one thing from trying on the wigs if my hair grows back the same colour it was it won’t be staying that way for very long as it looked very miserable and boring after taking off the wigs, lol
the kids fell asleep in the car on the way home so i popped upstairs and put my wig on before they came in from the car, the two bigger ones both just smiled at me when they saw me in it but didn’t say anything, maybe they just think i’ve been to the hairdressers again, lol, the baby looked at me funny so i guess she noticed something different. i’m gunna sit them down tomorrow and show them the wig and explain that i’m having magic medicine now too so will be bald too, i wanted to wait till after xmas to tell them and now seems like a good time.
I feel much much better now so thank you all for listening to my moan, i don’t really do it often.
OH glad you sorted San. Your wig sounds lovely. Kids take a lot in their stride don’t they?
My 7 months old granddaughter pulls my wig off if I put it on. She is so used to me without it or a cap on LOL.
Dont fear a good moan darl. You have a hell of a lot on your plate. You humble me.
Keep your chin up darl we are here if you need us. xxx Rita
Glad you got your wig sorted out and you like it. I have picked out my one too…I won’t be having Chemo until around Feb, but just want to be prepared! It was so odd trying them on in the salon, the one I have picked actually looks much nicer than my hair, I think it’s the head stocking part that puts me off - lol.
Hi Paula, mine looks a lot nicer than my own hair too!!! I said when mine grows back I’ll be taking the wig to the hairdresser and asking for mine to be done the same, lol.
