Was confirmed i had bc last Tuesday (8th August) when I had mammogram and ultrasound. Has two biopsies on Friday- breast and lymph node. Been coping pretty well but around this time of the evening I seem to have a wee wobble. I am getting my results and hopefully my treatment plan on the 22nd.
I am scared it’s spread to my lymph nodes or beyond.
I am scared I won’t make it.
I think once I know for sure what I am dealing with I will cope better. The uncertainty is scaring me.
I visited the maggies centre today for some info and support and it all still feels like this is happening to someone else.
I spend time reassuring my kids and partner that it will be fine, that I will be fine but nobody is able to tell me that.
I know this panic feeling will pass and I will have the strength to get through whatever is ahead of me.
X
Hello happygolucky - we met on my earlier post when I was having a complete meltdown. We are both at the very early stages, I get my treatment plan next Monday having been diagnosed on 28th July following mammogram, ultrasound and biopsy there and then - still really surreal I have to say.
The experienced ladies on this forum (I am such a newbie) will be able to offer you so much more than I can but I just noticed your post and wanted to send you a hug - you are not alone, you’re really not as I have already found. So many wonderful people just waiting in the wings to catch you when you’re down.
I have exactly the same questions as you have going through my mind - all the what ifs… when I find myself heading down that track, and it is SO EASY to do, I just do my very best to stop and go and do something to distract myself from heading into that black hole of worry. Sometimes, it’s just simple things but anything to divert your negative thoughts will honestly help you in this period of unknown.
I don’t want to hear anyone else telling me I’m going to be fine - bless them they don’t know what to say do they? I trust the medical team that will be looking after me 100% and, apart from the ladies here, they are the only people I am interested in listening to.
You will definitely have the strength to get through this because you are not on your own hon. Try and have a relaxing evening and take a day at a time.
Anita xx
Hi
Welcome to the forum.
Unfortunately none of us want to be here, but we all try and support each other as much as possible.
This is the worse time…when you’re waiting for results and you don’t know what treatment you will have. But once you have that appointment, you will start to feel better. BC is very treatable. You will get through it and come out the other side.
Please come and chat on here, as we all know what you’re going through.
Sending a hug xx
Anita,
Thanks for replying. I gain great strength from knowing I am not alone and that what I am feeling or not feeling is normal.
The kids go back to school on Wednesday and I think I am worried about that. I like that when they are off school we are there for each other for cuddles and check ins.
Good luck for getting your treatment plan. I am glad we are on this journey together. X
Hi Happy,
Yes, what you’re feeling is quite normal at this stage, the mind goes into overdrive with the uncertainty, tries to fill in the gaps & often makes 5!
At the same time, we are trying to be strong for others, which can create another sort of tension.
Once all’s confirmed, you know what you’re dealing with, then it all settles down again.
We all get through it.
hugs ann x
Evening Sue and Ann
Thank you for your kind words. They are like hugs in sentences and I know you guys get it and you can often put into words the things I can’t seem to express.
Thank you
X
Knowing what you are dealing with actually provides you with some peace of mind and some focus yes it’s still scary yes you will still have ups and downs but the unknown is our worst enemy and unfortunately there is s lot of anxious waiting around between appointments. I have found if I come on here (whatever time) there is someone around who just gets me and can offer some support or words of wisdom xx