Dear Lily,
I am so very sorry to hear your news and pass on my love to you.
I lost my Mum to breast cancer 2 weeks ago and am absolutely devastated- feel like my heart has been ripped out!
We knew it had spread to her lungs but sje deteriorated so quickly, within a week.
I am lucky that I have so many amazing friends and lovely family but I just can`t believe I will never see her again. She was so wonderful and an amazing Grandma.
I hope you are ok,
Thinking of you,
Rachael
Dear Rachael, I am sorry that you too have lost a loved one. Your Mum would have been proud of you for writing to Lily. Hugs coming to you too. Love Val
Dear lily… On 19th august at 7am I copied your post and emailed it to my partner while he was on his way to work. It broke my heart and I felt your sadness so much. It made me think how lucky I am and how this disease has such an awful effect on everyone it touches.
I have been away and thought I would catch up on the forum.
I cannot begin to know what pain you are feeling… I am so so sorry. So sorry x
Anger and sadness are such huge emotions. Someone please find a cure… Quickly …
X
Dear lilly Im so sorry ANOTHER BRAVE LADY taken much to soon.My thoughts are with you& YOUR FAMILY XX
So, so sorry to read that your sister has passed away. I can only say you and your family are in my thoughts at this sad time
Max x
Thanks again, for your thoughts & support. Even though non of u knew my sister, its comforting to read these comments and know they’re are soo many people thinkng of her.
Nothing feels real at the moment, whats happend over the last couple of weeks hasnt sunk in. We have started making funeral preparations for next fri, its hard- but it feels like wer doing it for someone else- not my sister.
We’v been to see her everyday at the chapel of rest, I have found this comforting & a relief. I wasnt sure what to expect when I first saw her, but she looks lovely.The distress &pain has gone from her face, she looks like our sister again. We have placed a photo of her litlle boy on her, so he will always be with her, before the funeral we will put some more photos in,& some letters from the family- alot of whom didn’t get the chance to say bye. Some people may find it strange but we have done her make up, nails, put her wig back on & sprayed her fav perfume- my sister always looked perfect, even during her chemo when she was poorley & her hair fell out she still made an effort - she would go mad at us if we hadnt of madesure she looked nice now.Even when im sat there talking to her& stroking her hand, I know shes not with us & isnt gonna talk back, but i cant relate it to my sister passing away. I suppose it will take a long time for me to comprehend that she has died.
My sisters little boy is doing well, he is very clingy with me,his dad & grandparents but hes bound to be. He has asked questions such as will mummy be back for christmas or my birthday,he asks whats going to happen to her things,& now & again says poor mummy-my mummys died. We try to be as honest as we can with him, without going in to too much detail. But hes got all of us,& has alot of support that will always be there for him. He starts school on thursday, im sure that will be a nice distraction for him.
Im also struggling with the fact that im 9months pregnant, my babys due today. Ive spent all these months looking forward to him coming, & now Im worried that if he comes on Friday I will miss the funeral. Im worried how i will cope with a newborn baby on top of my grief. When I visted my sisters house, we found things that she had bought for my baby, im going to take one of these little outfits to hospital with me, & after ive given birth it will be the first thing he wears, & what I bring him home in. Im hoping aswell that a new baby in the family will help with our grief, that it will give us all something good to focus on,and that I can stay strong no mater what happens, for my family & our new addition that could come along any time now x
Oh what a touching post - I don’t know what to say other than I wish all of you the strength to get through this incredibly difficult time. I also know you will get so much joy from your new baby whenever it arrives and your sister will shine through that way.
Liz x
Oh Lily, What a lovely truthful post. You are doing so well. But you must now think of yourself and your new baby because that is what your sister would want I am sure. Her little boy with thrive will all the love coming from your family. She would be proud of you. Please look after yourself and I hope the joy that this new baby will bring will lessen the sorrow for you all. Much love Val
Oh Lily
How very sad for you and all your family. I haven’t been on the forums much recently so haven’t posted anything to you since just after your initial posting, however I have been thinking of you and was so saddened when I read that your sister had died. I feel so sorry for her little boy and all of you having to cope right now. I hope that you do get to say your final farewell to your sister on Friday but you know in your heart she will always be with you and you were with her right at the end. Good luck with the birth of your baby and I hope, as Val has said, that he or she will ease your sorrow.
Take care and do keep in touch we are all here to support each other, whether we are family, friends or suffering ourselves.
Nicky x
Hi Lilly,
Can’t add to what’s already been said. Just to say that I’m thinking of you and your family, too. The love and supportive your family have will help each one of you to cope.
Take good care of yourself & your new born.
xx
I felt so sad for your sister and her little boy and how brave you and your family are.
I want you to know that you have all you need to cope with life and your new child your sister saw to that. She had her boy and you were there and your sister showed you the way. Take all that she gave you and live your life so that she can say that you didnt waste it. She hasnt gone from you completely as you have so much of her love inside you. Remember the good times and all that she told you and tell her son the fun and loving stories from childhood so that he never forgets her but can enjoy talking about her without upset or fear.
You have the strength in you to have a wonderful life with your family and that your sister can trust you to keep strong and positive for her little boy and his dad.
You have a big job on your hands but I feel that because of the love you have shown you can do this. We all grieve for the loss but we forget we have everything in our hearts and memories remaining.
wishing you peace
God bless x
Dear Lily,
I don’t often post here but after reading your heartbreaking post i had to tell you how wonderfully supportive you are, i was reading your post with tears streaming it was so heartfelt, i am so sorry that you and your family have lost such a wonderful person in your lives and so young.
I know you will all do your best for her little boy and be honest without going into too much detail about his mummy’s illness, it will surely help him to understand as much as his young mind can, and help him get happy again.
I hope your new arrival will help all your family especially your mum come to terms with their grief and in time make them all happy again and enable you all to have happy special memories of your sister.
Lots of Love and Lots of Thoughts to you and your family.
Reneexx
Hi Lily,
I have been thinking of you all day and know it must be very hard for you and your family.
Take care of yourself and i hope you have a great time being a new mum despite this terrible tragedy.
special thoughts to your little nephew.
Love
Reneexx
Hello everyone, just an update since my last post.
My sisters funeral was on Fri 3rd Sept.It was undoubtedly one of the worst days of my life. I knew it would be, no matter how much you prepare urself for whats ahead, as soon as we saw the funeral cars pull up, me,mum,dad & my other sister went to pieces. It was such an emotional service, but looking back I think it went aswell as these things could. It was a nice service from the point of view that we made it all about her. We played 3 of her fav songs, one of them was her wedding song, two family members stood up to talk about her, my Husband spoke on behalve of my parents, sister & I- we just couldnt do it, but it was important to us that someone read out our words & how we were feeling,&to put across just how much she is loved & missed by us. It was also comforting to see how many other people wer affected by my sisters death, & how much other people were saddned & shocked by what has happened, it made us feel less lonely.
The next day all i felt was emptyness. Suddenly there was no funeral to arrange, I couldnt go to the chapel of rest to see her- as I had every day. The finality that she has gone started to set in. I still feel like that now. I still cant associate my sister with death. I know i havent seen her in a while, & i know im not going to, but i cant comprehend that she has died-it just doesnt make sense.
Two days after the funeral on Sun 5th Sept at 19.40, I gave birth to a little boy. He was a week over due, im thankfull that I didnt go in to labour on or before her funeral, & that hes here safely. It was such an easy birth, & I felt that my sister was with me in that delivery room. Its soo sad she didnt get to meet him, but me & all my family are so gratefull hes here. My sisters little boy has now started school, & has settled in well. Hes seems to be coping at the moment, & school seems to be a good distraction as hes really enjoying it & making new friends.
Next week we have a meeting with the specialist who looked after my sister, & who put her care plan together. It wont change anything, but it might help us understand why the cancer spread so quickly, & why we lost her as quick as we did, when we thought she was all clear. We are also waiting for the results of some blood tests. As my sister had tests done a month before she died, to see if the cancer is genetic- thats a scary thought for me & my other sister, but we will just have to be strong & wait & see what happens x
Lily,
Your post has an underlying theme that there is so much in you and your family’s lives to look forward to. You will keep your sister in your hearts and minds forever. You sound a very caring person and I wish you well for the future. I hope the meeting goes well and that you are able to cope with the blood tests results whatever they are.
Thinking of you,
Snoogle
x
Lily
Thank you so much for such a moving account of whats been happening sinced your dear sister passed away. Congratulations on the birth of your little boy, as you say he will be a great source of comfort to you and your family at a time when you need comfort the most. My heart goes out to you and your family and hope that there is no genetic cause for your sisters cancer, you certainly have enough to cope with without that worry.
Best wishes
Linda
Hi Lily - just adding my words to the others already on here. A very moving account of your sister’s funeral and I am not surprised than none of her immediate family could speak, it must have been so upsetting. However it sounds like your sister was deeply loved by her family and all her friends and I am sure this will help comfort you along with your lovely new baby boy. Congratulations on his birth and I am sure he will help you all in this moment of deep sorrow. I hope any test results do not affect you directly and also that your sister’s consultant can help answer some of the questions you must have about her sudden death.
Take care and look after yourselves
Nicky x