Hello all - new member

Welcome and how to use the forum Introduce yourself
1

I posted on the newly diagnosed thread earlier but thought I would put something on here as well. My story starts just today after a routine mammogram last week threw up an issue. The recall which I went to today did indeed show a lump during the ultrasound which the doc is pretty certain is cancer although biopsy results are awaited and I go back on the 4th to learn what is planned. The lump itself is only 1cms but quite a long way back behind my left nipple and having reflected on that information, I am wondering quite where that might be? My knowledge of anatomy is sketchy to say the least. Anyway, looking on here it appears that treatment now depends on (obviously) how aggressive it is and what is causing it to grow … hormones? Does that sound about right? My mum had this 20 odd years ago and it was all different then, much more basic. I think that I was quite “matter of fact” during the appointment and it’s only since I have come home that I have started to consider just how nasty what is coming might be? It has to be faced, of course - what can you do - but what scares me the most is the idea of chemo, frankly. I actually don’t have a problem with the idea of a mastectomy and losing a boob because I am small busted anyway and at 60, accept that being a bit damaged can just happen. 

Anyway, it’s good to have found this site and the opportunity to talk to others who are in a similar boat. Poor hubby is having to come to terms with this nasty shock and whilst I can rely on him to be supportive, I really don’t want this diagnosis to dominate our lives. Otherwise everything just becomes about the cancer. Thank you to whoever reads this, even posting on here is making me feel a tad better. Weirdly I haven’t cried yet, I am sure that will come, it’s all just a bit … sudden.

2

Hi

What struck me when I read your post was how grounded you seem. This may be wrong and you may feel a wreck but you’ve described your situation so clearly and coherently, I can see you becoming one of what I call the soothers, the ones who jump in with replies to make others feel ok, no matter how rubbish things are for them.

Like you, I had a mum who’d had breast cancer twice, never needing more than lumpectomies and, second time, radiotherapy and hormone therapy. That was even earlier than your mum’s experience. Yes, things have changed considerably and I can honestly say it’s all manageable. Yes, there can be unpleasant side effects but there are now ways to mitigate the effects.

I’m sorry you have to join us but you are very welcome. You have a lot of waiting ahead of you as various tests provide more detail about your particular tumour, It may, like one of mine (I was greedy and had one of each type) be tucked between your ribs but, as it was picked up by a mammogram, maybe not. Now is the time to focus on your emotional wellbeing, which I consider a significant part of the experience. The more coping strategies you and your husband have, the better because you may well have to face some tough treatments. It all depends on what they discover but they are all manageable. The thousands of women who use the forums bear testament to that.

Not only are treatments and side effects managed better nowadays, success rates are better too. Prepare your questions, have them written down or they will surely go out of your head and, if covid rules allow, take someone in with you, someone who will also have a copy of your questions and make notes of the answers. I took a friend rather than my husband as he was all over the place! However, it’s important to decide how much information you want. Some women need all the details, examining the data and scans so they feel more in control of their condition. However, for many, this would induce worse anxiety. I went for head in the sand. I had enough problems with anxiety without adding more so I opted to trust my team implicitly. It worked for me but there is middle ground. Meantime, please don’t google anything - it can’t relate to your specific condition, down to genes and proteins and mutations and it certainly can;t reassure you if you don’t like what you read. Once read, hard to forget.

I wish you all the best in whatever lies ahead, simple or complex. Remember you don’t have to be a warrior unless you like the battle analogy. It’s ok to feel a wimp or a wuss. It’s all normal and we all feel differently. If you have any worries meantime, the nurses’ helpline above provides a wonderful service. They’ve helped me several times over the years.

Good luck

Jan x 

3

Hi. After just reading your post,seems to mimic exactly how Im feeling. Took it on chin when told,and as Im HCA with NHS, was also very matter of fact.

The emmotions am going through change from hour to hour…from being Gung Ho,to utter despair and depression. Spent Saturday cleaning virtually everything! Then curling up in ball today…

Have decided to listen to me,for a change, and for once be a little selfish

Hubbie had bowel cancer 3 years ago, somehow got through, and this forum somehow makes me feel not alone…its good to converse with others that are going through same,without burdening family

Love to all