Hi
Don’t know if in right place-bit new to all this computer stuff!I am getting myt scan result in the am to see if my c has now spread to the brain.It went from breast to bone within a few months of finding original lump.Then a year or so later lungs and now ? the brain.I am so scared but feel I realy should be use to it but do yu ever!??So scared and unable to eat as stomach a tight knot.Mum has not remembered and feel that everyone just thinks well so whsat…!Would drop with shock if Mum actually mentioned my cancer.Feel so alonre,frightened and scared.My sister(older)has always supported me and choose4s now to dump all the crap on me!Apparently I am selfish wanting to die in my own home.I don’t see why and am sure she has looked intpo none of the help you get from hospice at home.Is it selfoish??Just feel spent 40yrs trying to get my own house and do not want to die in a hospice or hospital withpout those I love(mainly my cats) arround me.They are who get me through each day why is it selfish to want to be with them ayt the end.
Sorry waffeling.Wish sleep would come -I will maybe take some extra sleepers.
Thanks for the waffel
Elfin xxxxx
Hi elfin
It sounds like you’re having a pretty tough time. I am sure some of the other users will be a long soon with their advice and experiences.
In the mean time if you would like to talk to someone about what you are going through the BCC helpline will be available today from 9am to 5pm and tomorrow 10am to 2pm. On the helpline you can speak with a trained member of staff who will offer you a listening ear as well as support and information. The number to call is freephone
0808 800 6000.
I hope you find this helpful.
Kind regards
Sam (BCC Facilitator)
Hi Elfin
You have come to the right place as we all have secondaries of some sort on this part of the forum. I know how scary everything is especially if the BC seems to be on the move. Waiting for results is the pits and anyone not going through it really doesn’t understand. I hope that the scans come back clear but if not there are a few threads on here about brain secondaries and the treatments being used. Mybe you can get some help and support from one of the helpline people on this site or from your BCNs? Your sister doesn’t sound very sympathetic but I expect she’s just scared like you are. There is another thread on here about hospital/hospices/home for dying and it is really up to the individual - not whoever is trying to influence you. Also there was another thread late last year about the same thing which may now be in the archive section. If you use the search facility for ‘hospice’ I’m sure you can find both areas and read through them. There’s some interesting (and funny!) comments from us ladies having to contemplate the same ‘ending’. I hope you get some more support from here and ask any questions you need, there will always be someone who has the relevant knowledge or experience.
Take care and hope you got some sleep last night
Nicky x
Hi Elfin,
I just want to send you a cyber cuddle, you really do sound very low. I hope your scan comes back clear and it has not spread to your brain.
I think family can be difficult when we are dealing with secondaries I only have a small family, my dad lives in Spain who can’t seem to understand the chemo routine and insists on ringing my chemo coma day! I get irritated and then feel guilty.
I too want to die at home and have talked this through with Ian so I hope this can happen. Have you been in touch with Macmillan to put plans in action?
Sorry, I don’t seem to be much use. I think dealing with this can get better i.e. we take control and make our plans while we are well enough. I don’t think easy is a word that fits in. For me it is difficult, complicated, frustrating and very sad. Easy, no it will probably not ever get easier.
Keep us posted and hope we can offer you support.
Love Debsxxx
hi elfin, waiting for results is the pits, and i don’t think it does get any easier. But all the wome n who use this forum ,understand what you’re going through. I hope the scan comes back clear, but even so, talking to a macmillan nurse , as debs suggested, may help. We all have the right to die at home, and there is help avaialble from district nurses, social services and palliative care services. making your wishes clear and having a written plan(the nursing service should have a policy on preferred place of care) might help you to feel you have some control. love nickyx