Hi, I have just signed up for these forums as I would like to be able to talk to other women who know what I may be going through. This is my first post so I want to start by saying hello to everyone as that’s the polite thing to do! Here is a bit more about me: I am just 34 years old and had a lumpectomy 3 weeks ago. There was no sign of cancer in my lymph nodes or surrounding tissue but I have been referred for chemo because of my young age and the grade of my tumour, which was grade 3. I realise I may be jumping the gun because my initial appointment with my oncologist isn’t til next Monday so at this stage I don’t know exactly which type(s) of chemo drugs I’ll be getting, or how regularly I will be given chemo or how long the course will last for… and of course until I start the treatment I don’t know to what extent it will affect me. I am trying not to get stressed or anxious as that’s not going to do me any good, and I would particularly like to hear from people who are having or have had chemo and radiotherapy for the same resaons as me - to prevent the risk of cancer re-occuring.
I am not sure what I am most anxious about… the likeilhood that I will feel rough and not be able to do everything the way I did before, or how it will affect my phsyical appearance.
I am prepared to feel weak/nauseous after each dose of chemo, how long is it likely to last and is there anything I can do to reduce the extent of feeling unwell?
I am generally in good health, I’ve never had anything wrong with me apart from occasional colds, I am an ex-smoker, no other vices apart from I’m probably a bit too fond of white wine. I don’t have a problem with my weight, I honestly eat healthily and if not for my recent surgery I would still be going to pole dancing classes (to keep fit not to make money lol) but trying to leave the car behind and walk more places just to get “some” exercise until I am fit to go back to my dancing.
I realise I will probably lose my hair even if I wear one of those ice cap thingies during my chemo sessions - how soon does hair fall out? And how soon does it start growing back? Where can I get decent wigs and scarves as I will not be brave enough to go round “au naturel” I am most worried about what my partner will think about my new appearance - what have been your experiences?
I am sorry this is so long but I really want to know from people who are going through something similar, what my life is going to be like for the next 6 months and how I can keep it as “normal” as possible.
Welcome to the forums, I am sorry to read of your recent diagnosis, I am sure that you will receive lots of support and information from your fellow forum members very soon. I also wanted to let you know that Breast Cancer Care have published a Resource Pack, it has been designed for anyone newly diagnosed with information to help you better understand your diagnosis, test results and various treatments, it is available via the following link or by contacting the helpline:
You may find our helpline useful to call during this time for more information, they can also give information about our other support services and also offer support and a ‘listening ear’. The number to call is 0808 800 6000 Monday - Friday, 9am - 5pm, Saturday, 9am - 2pm.
Hi Clarabel34, I am about to start chemo next week too, so I don’t have answers but at least I have some of the same questions. I am not as young as you though (mid fifties), so I hope some younger people will answer you. I had a mastectomy and reconstruction a few weeks ago, also grade 3 and lymph nodes clear, and am advised to have chemo next.
I’m going to try the ice cap too, but not holding out huge hopes for it. I think the hair starts to thin after 2-3 weeks. I was shown round the chemo unit yesterday and they gave me details of where to get a wig.
There is a thread on here somewhere about starting chemo that has lots of tips and also some websites for various headcoverings.
Sorry to hear you’re on the same journey but just to wish you luck and say you will get through it and it does fly by in terms of time. I was diagnosed in september, i’m 39 years old and also had to have chemo as a precautionary measure. I have just had the 5th of 6 lots of chemo. I will be honest as I can be but remember everyone is different. It isn’t pleasant! You knew that anyway. You may not be one of those who suffers from sickness, unfortunately I was. And the tiredness is accumulative. I gave up work and to be honest I think it was the right thing for me, I couldn’t have continued, I just wanted to dedicate myself to getting well again really. There are loads of tips on the chemo section for what to do when you’re going through it. It can really get you down some days but other days you feel fine again. I am always really out of sorts, feel unwell for a week after chemo, then slowly things start to get back to normal again. My hair fell out after the first lot of chemo - about 2 weeks after i’d had the actual drugs. I had it cut short beforehand so it was less of a trauma, then shaved it as far as i could… i miss my hair but it’s already growing back now! I am looking forward to spring and summer. It is traumatic at first seeing yourself with no hair… but once it’s out you get over it much quicker than you think. I have a wig but only wear it if i’m going out in the evenings. I prefer to wear cotton buffs through the day and at night if my head is cold they are really light and incredibly useful. Not sure what advice i can give other than, take it a day at a time, try not to read too much scary stuff to do with other people’s diagnosis, and let your feelings out as much as you can… on a positive note, the time does fly by really quickly and soon you will be through this and will have your life back (and be back to pole dancing!). I wish you all the luck in the world, you will hear the word ‘do-able’ a lot - chemo isn’t nice, but for what it gives you, it is worth going through. Carrie x
I am planning to get my hair cut into a shorter style as soon as I start my chemo and if and when it starts to fall out I plan to get it shaved and then have at least one wig in brunette which is my natural colour and possibly an additonal one in a different style or shade just to try something different since I’ve always been scared to have anything drastic done with my hair so if I’m gonna lose it I may as well experiment with wigs. See whether anyone phones me up to report they saw my boyfriend out with a “mystery redhead” lol! What are “cotton buffs”?
I have booked a week in the Canaries for the 7th March because I wanted one last week of being “normal” after recovering from surgery but before starting the chemo and radiotherapy, it is not like my life is at risk if I delay things by a week or so and I don’t want to risk booking a holiday for after I’ve started in case I don’t feel well enough to enjoy it. I’m not worried about vomiting but I am not happy about the fatigue but I shall give into it and not be a hero.
Dear Clarabel134
My name is Lizzie and I am 36, I was told I had BC on 21st December and had a mastecomy on 8th Jan, started chemo 2 weeks ago, I was very nervous before hand I suppose its the unknown, but after chatting to my husbands Aunt who had gone through it she said its doable so it diden’t sound to bad (she was in her 60’s). I felt a bit rough a few days afterwards and took it easy, the anti sickness drugs worked and I was not sick just a bit nauseaus. Then I started to feel better and got on with my normal life, school runs etc.normal stuff but just feel a different kind of tiredness…and today I must have overdone it as I have just had to snuggle on the couch with my little girl and chill as I felt like I’d hit a brick wall tired! But it could be because I don’t sleep as well as I used to at night…I used to enjoy a good 9 hours before all this. I have my second chemo next wednesday and will have it for 6 months and then 3 weeks of radiotherapy. I also had my hair cut into a short bob and until this morning nothing had fallen out but in the shower this morning a fair bit just washed away…and although I was expecting this I was still quite upset…I too have got a wig on standby…it had the hairdressers having a trim…Its good to chat to someone the same age and sort of in the same boat…
Lizzie XX to young for all this eh…
did your normal hairdresser have any qualms about styling a wig? I haven’t spoken to my stylist yet because the last time I saw her I didn’t know I would be getting chemo. I am worried some hairdressers may refuse to style a wig because if they botch it up it can’t grow back! I want a wig that matches my hair as it is now, ie long with a bit of a fringe and a few layers and as natural looking as possible. I haven’t started looking yet though. Where do you find out?
dear clarabel134
The breast nurse at the clinic gave us the name of the wig shop near us in Ipswich so I quickly booked an appointment while I still had my hair…it was a very weird experience the lady was nice and I took my sister who always makes me laugh and when we chose the one which was closest to my hair I felt happy…she kept it at the shop because you need a voucher from the NHS to pay for most of it and when I got that she sent the wig in the post…I was having a bit of a downer that day and when I opened the packet I just cried it looked like a dead cat!!! But the mood changed as my little boy put it on and said"at last I can be a women"!!we all burst out laughing my husband with a nervous laugh…I took it to Tracey my normal hairdresser as it seemed a bit puffy on top and she was going to put a few layers in it…if she messes it up I’m stuffed…where in the country do you live? Have you got kids? Lizziexx
On a practical note buffs are very easy to wear multi purpose head coverings.I found the best selection at Blacks outdoor shops.They look like a long tube of fabric[cotton jersey is comfy]and you get an instruction leaflet of all the ways to wear it.They are cool indoors or out in Summer when you may not want to wear a wig.They cost about £9.99 each.
Hi again Lizzie, I live in South London, I have had a quick look at some websites that do wigs, not prepared to spend hundreds on one made of real hair if I can get a fibre one for under a hundred pounds, there seem to be some quite nice looking ones.
I am wondering when to take the plunge and get my hair cut. I was planning to put it off til my chemo started, but I have read on another breast cancer website that it can be better to get used to yourself with shorter hair as soon as possible, so that it is less traumatic and also when it starts to grow back if you had got used to having shorter hair you will feel back to your normal self sooner. So I don’t know whether I should just go for it. No point asking people who know me they will all sit on the fence and say “do what ever feels right to you” but my other train of thought is, if I am not going to suit shorter hair perhaps I’m better off sticking with what I know suits me, and what I know my boyfriend likes, until the last minute. Any advice on this welcome, maybe I should create a separate post?
To answer your other question no I don’t have children however I have never wanted them and now that my fertility is going to be affected I don’t feel any differently it sounds wrong however I type it but to me it’s one less thing to worry about.
clarabel134
got to go and pick up kids…will sign on again tommorrow…hope your okay someone gave me a good book to buy "The mind can heal the body "by Matthew Manning (Healer) and although I wasen’t really into all that it was fascinating and I went to see him and found it very helpful…getting positive is what its all about which is tough at times like this. Get to that bookshop…
Hope some of the stuff I said helped a bit chat soon
Lizzie XX
I was 37 when diagnosed dec 05, for me I had to have all treatment due to large tumour and lymph involment, however I uesd the cold cap and never needed a wig or scarf so it can be successful, infact even refused to go the wig shop, told the BCN nurse I would only go if the cold cap didn’t work.
At first I was planned for 6xFEC but this changed to 4xFEC and 4xTax due to Herc 2 results + number of lymphs, on the FEC I would take to my bed for roughly 3/4 days then begin to wake from the fog, the second week would be regaining strength and the 3rd week was back to normal and a girlie lunch as my pre chemo treat. The Taxotere was harder but I did it alongside 18 herceptin and then 25 rads, last year had loads of scans which were all no evidence and had my recon in December 07 which I am delighted with.
At the time I went through every emotion, found it very difficult to discuss with friends and family as they all just cried (although my close girlfriends are fantastic) but I have found this site my lifeline, once your chemo is out of the way would really suggest you go on one of the younger women forums, I did and was really shocked to be in a large room full of younger women or women the same age, it was very fact finding, emitional and informative but I met some wonderful ladies, thats how us lot on the gobby gang thread all got together.
re; cutting your hair. i would definitely recommend getting a short crop cut now. it makes it easier for so many reasons. once your hair starts falling out, it’s easier if it’s short… plus, you are taking control, anticipating what’s going to happen and having some say in when and how things go. i cut my hair shorter a month before chemo. then when it started to come out, i shaved it off. i hated having bits of hair in my mouth, food, round my neck. it is horrible but the more practical you can be about it the better you will be emotionally. it will come back again so… the other thing is the cold cap. i didn’t go for it because i hated teh idea of having to be at the hospital for a further two hours… just had to get out of there. and i’d heard it doesn’t always work that well. you might want to think about whether it’s an option. the cotton buffs i wear around the house are ideal, you can find them on buff.com or co.uk i can’t remember. lots of different styles and designs. it’s a lot easier than having to tie a headscarf or a bandana so i do recommend you get a few in. i live and sleep in mine now. kind of get used to having them on. i try not to look in mirror too often!
think you absolutely do right getting away on holiday = i wish i had. make the most of the next few weeks prior to chemo and whilst you’re going through it, so long as you eat well, sleep when you need to and stay as infection free as possible, you will be ok. the tiredness can get me down but some days i feel great so it’s not as if it’s all of the time. enjoy your hol, carrie
Hi Carrie and Debbie, thanks for your input especially about the hair issue. I AM going to opt for the cold cap, I would rather spend a bit longer in hospital and improve the chances of saving my hair.
Are you able to do anything like read a book while you’re receiving your chemo or wearing cold cap? I am more concerned with boredom than any kind of unease at being in a building full of cancer patients.
I have booked to have my hair cut on Saturday morning. I’ll just go for a fashionable bob at first and keep the front bit longer. I was going to put it off until I knew for certain whether I’d lose my hair but like others have said I want to keep as much control as I can. IF I am fortunate enough not to lose my hair I won’t kick myself because I have been toying on and off with the idea of a bob but kept chickening out in case I didn’t like it - I don’t feel like I have so much to lose now and I know it will grow back at some stage whether or not I have to lose it all first. I have made my hairdresser aware of my situation.
Just picking up on the threads of conversation you have started here.
I was disagnosed in January last year I was 34 and had to have a mastsectomy, followed by chemo and then radiotherapy.
I am now over the worst lot of treatment and now taking tamofixen and zelodox.
I remember feeling so scared. But I promise you will get through it.
You think oh no 6 and a half months of chemo how will I survive but you have to keep in sight that you aren’t poorly for the whole of those 6 months.
I would have my chemo on the Monday and say for 6 days would be out of action. I was never sick and the drugs do help that they give for sickness, just felt sick. I was very tired and just generally felt unwell. I use to listen to my body and think right then I need to rest and that is what I would do and literally stay in bed for those 6 days till I gradually felt better.
The following 2 weeks you then return to ‘normal’ and you carry on with life. Yes you still feel tired and abit run down but listen to your body and rest when you need to. So in theory 1 week out of the 3 I would be poorly.
I had 4 epi followed by 12 CMF and you think how will I get through this, but you take it one day at a time. Cross each session off and take one day at a time.
In regards to your hair, I had lovely hair half way down my back! I took the step of first getting it cut into a bob and I loved it, shame I didn’t have the courage before!
I then within a couple of weeks having my 1st epi began to lose my hair - my hairdresser came and gave me a grade 1 all over as my scalp was very sore.
I had 2 wigs, I use to wear a wig for special occassions otherwise quite happy wearing a bandana which I found more comfortable.
I don’t know where about in the country you are but Trevor Sorbie a famous hairdresser not sure if you have heard of him! He offers a service where he will cut your wig for free in his salon in covent garden, london.
I had this done and it was great and abit of a treat getting to meet the man as well.
It is amazing how quickly your hair grows back mine is thicker then ever and got a wave to it but come back a shade of dark blonde.
Hopefully I will be having it highlighted soon as use to seeing myself with blonder hair. I am thankful that the cancer gave me the courage to get my hair cut into a bob as this is now the style and length I am aiming for, fingers crossed by the end of year my hairdresser says I should be there.
My kids and husband have been great with everything and they use to try on the wigs which we would have a good laugh about.
It seems a long way off but you will get there and you will be patting yourself on the back and be so proud of the way that you have got through this episode in your life.
Hang on in there you will gets lots of support from this web site.
Thanks Treasure! I’m not happy at the thought of being confined to my bed for a full 6 days (I will probably be having my chemo on Mondays as well cos that’s the day the oncologist at Royal Marsden sees his private patients and I’m claiming on my private medical insurance for all this) the bit I am most bothered about is that it will be no fun for my boyfriend. I only see him on weekends, from Friday afternoons til Sunday evenings as he does night shifts in the week and we don’t live together yet. He is a bugger for wanting to sleep as late as possible on weekends because his body clock’s all messed up from night shifts, and I know he won’t mind too much if I don’t kick his backside out of bed at midday and say enough’s enough we have to go out and make the most of what’s left of the day - but once I do manage to force him to get up at midday and we’ve gone for a walk and got some lunch he’s rearing to go for the rest of the day - and into the night! I really hope he won’t get bored if there will be weekends where we just have to curl up on the sofa with the tv. He has been really supportive and understanding so far but I’m not sure whether he has stopped and thought about what actually might happen when I start chemo - I think he is just expecting me to have a bit less energy and possibly lose my hair for a while. I have asked him if he wants anything at all to read about any aspect of my cancer and treatment and he said no thanks. I think he will be in for a shock and I hope we can ride it out together.
I will think about going to Trevor Sorbie as I am based in London.
Remember Clarabel everybody is different and I am just telling you what happened to me.
You might have alot less symptons, you just don’t know how your body is going to react til you have to go through something like this.
I’m sure your boyfriend will be fine. When I was going through my chemo unfortunately my husband’s mother was diagnosed with bowel cancer, so we were both at a time going through chemo at the same time. It never rains but it pours!! And my husband was great even though I use to feel sorry for him his wife and mother having chemo at the same time!!
It is amazing how many sorts of chemo treatments there are, I thought before this there was just one and thats it. But my mother in laws was completely different to me, so her symptons were different to me.
Love is a great thing and you and your boyfriend will get through this.