Hello, I'm new on here and very scared!

Hi everyone ? I’m 41 with two daughters. Two weeks ago I noticed a dimple in my left breast and to my horror, when I pressed there I felt a lump! After a GP visit and a two week, very stressful week waiting for Breast Clinic appointment I am now awaiting core biopsy results. I have an appointment on Thurs for results. The consultant said he was very worried and lumps ‘rarely’ come back benign. I have been sheer terror since! I’m keeping it all inside as I can’t let my daughters know anything is wrong. My partner of 18 years is very supportive but struggling too with his emotions. I am petrified of leaving my daughters with no Mummy and I can’t shake these thoughts off. I live in Swindon. I would just like any tips or just to reach out to someone. Thank you so very much x

Hi Bonnie, bless your heart that’s an awful thing for the consultant to say to you, a high percentage of lumps are benign and they can’t know anything for certain until you get biopsy results, I was told the opposite yet I was diagnosed with cancer so I’m living proof they don’t always get it right, I know how terrifying this time is, I could barely function , do you mind me asking how old you are and your children? I’m 47 and have 2 boys in their 20’s and I completely fell apart so I thank god for my hubby who held us all together! I was fortunate to have a grade 1 diagnosis and only needed a small op and 3 weeks of Radiotheraphy , I’m almost 3 months post treatment and feeling great, please try not to work yourself up in to a state, just take it a step at a time and focus on Thursday and nothing beyond, you can’t second guess and will drive yourself mad trying too, always here to talk and listen love Jo xx . 

Hi Bonnie, so sorry to hear you are going through this, the waiting is really the worst time. If you can, make sure you take someone with you to your appointment so that if the news is bad, which I really hope it isn’t, you have someone else to listen and take in what the doctors are saying because the shock often stops you asking all the things you realise later you needed to know. Even if it is breast cancer, remember that it is very treatable, they are very quick to diagnose and treat it and you will get through it . You will find that you do tackle it in a positive way, because it’s the only way to tackle it, no-one wants to consider the alternative until someone tells them they have to! I’m glad your partner is supportive, I would take him with you to your appointments if he feels able to go. Will keep everything crossed for you, hope it is good news. Nicola xx

Hi Bonnie,

The waiting is very difficult and we have all been in that waiting room, struggling to hold it together. The people who got good news wouldn’t be on this forum to tell you, but good news is possible. That leaves those of us who are here because we are here. And we are still here and it is not necessarily a total disaster. 

 

I just want to say the fearful wait is the worst time. We all jump forwards in our minds to a catastrophic outcome, but in reality your daughters will still have their Mummy for a good while yet.  

 

J

Thank you ladies for your prompy replies, it’s such a relief to hear from others who have been thrrough the same. I think i’m most probably in shock as i just was so sure it would be a cyst and i’d walk out of the hosptal without a second thought. How naive eh? Tomorrow, even with the rubbish weather, we shall all get our raincoats on and get fresh air! Jo, Somerset is just down the road, nice to know somebody so close. x

Thank you again, I feel so much better after reading all of your replies. I’ll stay in touch and let you know how Thurs goes. Note to self…stay off Google! Lol. Thanks for listening x

I really sympathise hun, i’m expecting biopsy results this week too :frowning:

 

However the doc & nurses have been very positive and said that most lumps are benign! 

 

We’ll keep our fingers crossed for each other x

Everything crossed! Thanks for your reply x

It’s a horrible time ladies but there is nothing you can do other than wait it out, you both have a much higher chance of walking away with the all clear than not , just try and focus on your results day and don’t look any further ahead than that, it’s something i did all through otherwise you are just going around in circles speculating and it’s exhausting ! Xx

That’s fantastic advice and I plan on really trying just to put it out of my mind until Thurs. I’m due back to work on Weds, I work term-time only and I’m sure that’ll keep me distracted. Xx

Bonnie, I am here to tell you GOOD NEWS IS POSSIBLE… and the odds are in your Favor!

 

Same happened to me.  abnormal mam, ultrasound.  Dr said he didnt know what it was.  Put me at Birads4.  I was scared to death.

Waiting for the results was TORTURE.

Results from Ultrasound Guided Biopsy said Fibroadenoma!

Which is a benign tumor.

My lump did not present like a fibroadenoma, since they are usually well defined and move around.  Mine was scattered and did not have any definable edges.
There are PLENTY of Benign things it could be.  I suggest being a little worried, because if you are anything like me, without a little worry, I would ignore it completly.  So a little worry will keep you on top of things. 

Wishing you the BEST of LUCK Tomorrow.  Please let us know how it all turns out.  

XOXOX

 

Hi Jo, sadly not good news. ? I feel numb and helpless and oh so sad. Grade II invasive ductal and lymph node biopsy was positive. So frightened. My world has literally collapsed. Thank you for your thoughts x

Thank you so much Jo for your support. I haven’t even met you but feel as though you understand. Tonight I had to pretend for the sake of my beautiful girls. ? We will tell family members and a few friends over the weekend, then the girls. That I am fearing the most. I’m going in to work tomorrow to speak to my boss. I’m still fearing the worst, with it spreading etc. Can’t see beyond the morning at the moment. My normal self is smiley, bubbly and bright all of the time, feel like someone has stamped out my sparkle. Xx

There is one thing this awful disease has given us all here and that’s love and compassion for people we don’t even know but can empathise with in every way, every word you say Bonnie we can all relate too, everyone of us has been through what you are right now and you truly don’t ever want anyone else to experience it but they do and we gather around and support in every way we can, we can’t take it away but we can share our experiences and hopefully take away some of the scariness of the unknown for you , just let it sink in for a few days and as I said before try and concentrate on the next step and not too far ahead Xxxx 

Im so sorry Bonnie.  I was praying for you.  

I am wishing you the stregth to fight, the ability to get pissed off, and the most speedy recovery with the least amount of side effects.  

XOXO

Thank you, all of you for your words of compassion and experience. I just sat, all day, very still at my friends house, staring into the abyss. At 3pm I picked up my youngest and turned into ‘Bonnie’ again for a while. Things are already happening. My scan has come through for next Weds. Oh, and lucky me…I now have toothache! Lol. Falling apart at the seams i tell you! Can’t express, right now how much I appreciate all of your words of kindness. Xx

Hi Bonnie, my wife is in a similar situation to you. Lumpectomy and and anc as node they tested was positive. It’s horrible isn’t it. I wish I could heal her with a wave of the wand. In some ways we want chemo to start ASAP to destroy the evil thing inside of her x

Yes, it’s horrible, my children are distraught, it’s all so, so sad. Xx Thank you all for replying, sure I’m in shock still and will write more soon x

I know it’s my wife and not me but posting here definitely helps me. Maybe I’m addicted now! We’ve got the added complication of having no children but would like some at some point, so we also have trips to the fertility clinic to deal with!

That’s tough, but a reason for you to fight, get through this. I’m struggling with my mentality at the moment but know, very soon I need to gather up the strength for the biggest fight of my life. X