Hello I knew I was high risk for recurrence but still reeling. Annual MRI April 17th showed some incidental changes to bone and liver. CT showed what I wrote in title to this post- got results a couple of days ago. I did ask if it looked like mets and got the “I can’t lie, they are highly suspicious” answer (which I appreciate, because previous breast consultant did not tell me how serious things were in 2021 and I figured for myself). They need to establish if secondary or a different primary cancer. I don’t get the impression anyone thinks theoretical options no 3 of “not cancer” is a goer. Still waiting for bone scan as there was a flood in the nuclear medicine department. Now for liver biopsy - organised by breast team who did my original surgery / and who book the annual mammogram and MRI. They are liaising with breast oncologist. I asked what the time standard is and they said 14 days pathway. I understand that until they know the biology of the cell there is nothing to do but wait. I had slight passing discomfort start a few days before scan but am more and more uncomfortable in abdomen and under ribs. I was thinking of asking for a referral for pain relief and am very worried about how long this has been going on and what that means. Our son has GCSEs starting Tues so Oscar-winning acting and calm also required.
Hi historywoman (from a once-historywoman)
I’m so sorry you’ve had this happen. You sound like (apart from the inevitable scream trapped inside) you are managing well and have it all thought out. You’re right. There is nothing to do but wait and go with the flow until the biopsy results are through and they know what they are working with.
You can choose to hold onto that tiny bit of hope/denial and push the whole thing aside, as I did - it never occurred to anyone that I could get breast cancer behind the bridge of my nose! - or you can fret, dissect, analyse and generally have a crap few weeks acting OK when you feel you’re breaking. Maybe it’s unfair to say it’s a choice. Anxiety has its own evil ways of revealing itself. So maybe that should be your focus? Practising diaphragmatic breathing will hold you in good stead. Mindfulness, meditation, running, tutoring your son, anything to keep your mind from straying to cancer, because it’s not yet diagnosed and no one has actually said yes, it is - so there must be room for doubt.
As regards the pain, unless it’s intolerable, you have to factor in anxiety. I suddenly found myself with problems swallowing liquids a few days before surgery. The mind and body have their own ways of demonstrating their distress. If it is severe, then you must ring the BCN service or GP, even A&E.
One thing I would say is that, if it is secondary breast cancer, you must rid yourself of 20th century tropes - this is now considered for most women as a condition to be managed, like people live with other incurable diseases. Not how you expected life to be but manageable and treatable - and new treatments and combinations of treatments are coming up all the time. I have metastatic triple negative cancer, which has a poor prognosis, yet here I am, over two years since diagnosis, defying the old stereotype and still on my fist line treatment.
I’ve no solution and no answers (no one has) but I hope I’ve given you a different perspective to bear in mind. Take good care of yourself. GCSEs have a habit of dominating the landscape but YOUR wellbeing is essential now. Don’t forget yourself. Hoping for a good outcome
Jan x
Hi
I really do feel for you as know what you going through with the waiting as I am in another waiting position. I have just had a lumpectomy approx 6 weeks ago and going through radiation. I got a call 4 pm Friday to say they saw a liver cyst on the scan and would talk to me Monday at my radiation. Well I think I got 2 hrs sleep last night reading up on things ( which I know I shouldn’t do). I have my bone scan weds which has been booked in now for weeks which was standard here after a lumpectomy apparently. But must have had appointment date for 6 weeks. Thinking of you too having son to start exams Tuesday.
I have 2 secondary tumours in my liver. The first made its appearance before I had completed adjuvant chemo for my primary TNBC last summer. The first action was to see if the chemo was shrinking it (it wasn’t), then to ablate it and watch and wait. By the next scan it was back, along with a friend. It’s taken a couple of months of the hospital wanting more scans, and more tests, to get me where I am now - going back on chemo along with immunotherapy on 26th May. Mostly I don’t feel anything physically but sometimes I think I have pain, then I decide it’s more likely my mind paying tricks. The waiting is tough, and in my experience it’s never a single step process to gather all the info needed to make a decision. Wishing you all the best, and hoping you have a form of BC with more treatment options than mine!