Help for anxiety?

Hi, I was diagnosed with bone mets in January of last year. Started palbo and letrozole and the first year was great in terms of the effect the treatment was having on my cancer. Then at the beginning of this year I started to have problems with my bloods- repeated neutropenia after each cycle and low red cell counts resulting in two blood transfusions. I was switched to abemaciclib two months ago but it has wreaked havoc with my gut. One night I couldn’t get to sleep because the stomach cramps were so bad and then every night since then I haven’t been able to sleep beyond 4.00 am. I’ve tried zopiclone and diazepam from the doctor but they make me feel hungover the next day and even more anxious. I’m at my wits end. I keep thinking what’s the point of being given extra time if you can’t enjoy it and are riddled with anxiety. Sorry to moan. I am trying to remind myself of what I should be grateful for but I feel I’m slipping into a depression. Got the results of CT scan on Monday to see if new drug is working. I can’t help but feel a failure for not coping better.

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I have suffered from anxiety since diagnoses 13 years ago. I have tried every sleep med known to man including all the z ones like zopiclone.
I now take mirtazapine which is nigh on miraculous ,
Sleep 7 hours a night with no druggy morning feeling and it has really helped anxiety issues so I don’t have recurrence fear as much,so maybe worth asking your GP?
Best wishes

During Covid, I became anxious and depressed. I found the videos on developing resilience on BCNs website v helpful. I also find exercising helps a lot, walking, Pilates, gardening. My GP prescribed an antidepressant, can’t remember the name of it, however it did help me to become calm enough to take myself off it after 4 months, when I then went on to meditating ( which I’d learned and practiced many years ago). Also my McMillan nurse arranged some telephone counselling for me with relate. I had 6 sessions with a v good medical counsellor.
Don’t beat yourself up. We all have times when it’s really hard to cope. Give yourself a cuddle and remind yourself how special you are. Hugs xx