Sorry for the various posts over the last two weeks but I am in a very bad way mentally and don’t know how to keep going. I have 3 small kids and I keep thinking of them as I go over and over in my mind what could possibly be wrong with me. I can’t stop googling over and over again and I am now so convinced I am ill and that it is really serious that I am unable to function properly.
To recap, I had a private mammogram and ultrasound in August after a lump (which I had been informed was a Montgomery gland a year ago) started to be painful in jujy. Both scans were normal but I booked to see GP as the pain in nipple/lump remained. I thought I had a big indent in breast but she couldn’t see it and she felt no lumps on breast exam but she referred me to the breast clinic due to the new symptoms anyway.
The breast clinic was so disappointing. I was in and out in 20 mins. Once the consultant heard I had clear scans he thought i was wasting his time. I had hoped for a proper breast exam from a breast specialist but he just looked at my breasts with arms by my side and then asked me to lay on my back with arms above my head to feel with lump which he said was benign Montgomery gland. Graded it P1 and told me to have ultrasound which was over in about 2 mins as the radiographer was in a rush and thought I too was wasting his time. Graded the ultrasound U1. Consultant told me he couldn’t really understand why u had been referred!! And said breast cancer doesn’t cause pain and that my scans were clear. I tried to ask about lobular cancer hiding from scans but he laughed at the suggestion!!
So now I have breast pain, weird lump on areola which looks like it may be worse than before. Plus I can see indents in my breast for sure. I have even taken photos as they are not obvious all the time but they are there. How has no one else noticed them yet!!? Could they be from breastfeeding all those years ago? I can’t remember seeing dents before but I was never looking for them. I do remember thinking years ago that the right breast felt floppier and like there was less breast tissue in the area under the nipple but am I trying to make excuses??
I feel like I am going insane and don’t know how to proceed if my scans are clear. I am not a pushy person but do I try to persuade the GP to refer me again? I am afraid I will end up with a similar dismissive consultant.
Should I accept the diagnosis I have been given? As you can tell I have terrible anxiety right now and I am spiralling. My husband thinks I have gone mad and I am constantly googling and searching for something. I don’t even know what. Can symptoms get steadily worse over the course of two weeks that I am noticing huge symptoms or am I being hyper vigilant? I can’t go in like this.
I feel pains all over my body and am thinking the worst. Burning pain in breast, under arm, sternum, chest wall, upper back etc. I spoke to a lovely BCN nurse today who told me I really need to calm down. That the anxiety is spiking my cortisol and causing me to be aware of every pain and twinge. How do I calm down?
I feel like I need a second opinion but I am also terrified that an MRI or biopsy will give me the worst news possible.
What am I doubting the diagnosis I have received? Is it the stories of cancer not being detected on scans? Am I being sensible to keep going? I am at my wits end, so sorry
I’m sorry you’re so concerned. You can pay privately to see a breast cancer specialist to put your mind at rest. I doubt you’ll get another referral from your GP as you have a clear ltrasound, mammogram and have been examined by a consultant.
Most importantly please get some support regarding your health anxiety. Anxiety UK have a good website and offer a range of reasonably priced therapy.
Thank you for taking the time to reply. I realise I am slightly deranged right now! The breast nurse today was so lovely and she told me to sort out my anxiety. I haven’t eaten properly or slept for days and thinking of worst case scenarios all day long. It is making me so ill.
I will have to book to see someone privately as you suggest. I feel boxed into a corner. My husband is so angry with me and thinks I am making this all up. I am really not. These symptoms are real and I think something has just been missed.
Thank you for the link to the anxiety website too. It may prove very helpful to me. Thank you for taking the time to give advice x
Hi, you have every right to be concerned and if I was in your shoes I would def get a private consultation, you know your body better than anyone. It probably is nothing and I agree your anxiety is making issues worse, easier said than done to calm down when you are out of your mind with worry.
I got so angry for you when you said about the reactions of the professionals being so dismissive, unfortunately this is sometimes the case and something I definitely encountered myself on 2 occasions.
Around 20 years ago I had a change in my left nipple, I told my GP and he referred me for an ultrasound, My mum, Nan and 2 Aunts have all had breast cancer. So, went for the scan and of course feeling very anxious, as you would, the radiographer was so dismissive to the point of total rudeness, I know I did not imagine this as the 2 nurses/assistants shared a “look” between them that I caught!!
Fast forward to September 2022, had a rash top of tummy under my breast and also concerned as my left breast had a strange texture. Seen my GP, a male, he did not do a physical examination he just looked from around 3 feet away when I pulled my top up. He gave me cream for the rash and when I asked about my breast he said and I quote " not cancer". March 2023 a lump appears high on my left breast. Guess what? Stage 4 breast cancer spread to left lung and bones.
Now I don’t tell you this to scare you, I know you are already scared and I’m sorry about that, I tell you this so you stand your ground and fight for what you need.
The chances are its nothing, more often that not that is the case.
My fingers are crossed for you my lovely and I wish you all the love in the world.
I am so sorry to hear about your diagnosis. How are you doing now? It has been a little while since you got diagnosed. How are they able to treat your cancer as it is stage 4?
My friend is a nurse at a private hospital and she has managed to get me an appointment with a very good female consultant today. But in my heart I know there is a problem. I have had this weird lump which was put down to being a gland for over a year and at least 2 specialists said as much. But there is a definite dent under that nipple too which is more pronounced than previously and with the pain, I know what the outcome will be. I just hope I have a fighting chance with this as I have very young children. At the moment I can’t even be around them as I keep busting into tears xx
I am doing Ok, been living a pretty normal life for the last 2 and a half years, I have a telephone appointment with my oncologist tomorrow to find out my latest scan results, I think there is a problem, they usually wait to tell me when I go to my appointment which is every 12 weeks, the fact they are ringing me about it when I am scheduled to be there in 2 weeks is a worry but I am trying to not overthink it. Stage 4 is still treatable but not usually curable. Until now I have been able to carry on working, I have adjusted my hours somewhat as I get tired more easily. Its only the last few months that I am feeling stronger pain. I am on the first line treatment so there are more options after this.
My Mum only had a small dent in her breast on the underside, luckily she was caught in time, the lump was removed, she had some radiotherapy and live for many many years after, cancer didn’t kill her. In the early stages it is really very treatable/curable. For me it was too late but its being “managed”.
Its much harder when you are young ( I am 57) with children, stay focused and stay optimistic, I am very optimistic for you as you are on this really quickly and that counts.
Oh I am so sorry to hear this. Fingers crossed the news is good ref your scans. It must be a constant worry🙁. Glad to hear your mum was treated successfully. Success stories are importantly to hear.
I am worried I have left it too late to chase this up. I noticed the raised gland over a year ago but then again the scans and breast exam were normal only last week so I imagine the results would have been the same last year as well. It’s hard not to feel guilty in all this mess isn’t it
To add to the success stories both my Aunts were treated too and cleared and are both in their 70s living the good life, also, a cousin of mine had stage 3 and is now clear, she is only in her 30s. I guess I am the only one shit outta luck … lol
Dear katmb: Your distress comes through loud and clear and I am so sorry that you have all this worry. BUT, you are going to have to try to get a grip. If you read through your posts you go from extreme worry about a possible condition and then you are already talking yourself into a poor diagnosis with a lethal outcome.
I think you must now take the initiative and mount a two-pronged attack. Deal with getting your physical symptoms successfully diagnosed whilst at the same time working on your anxiety. Not wanting to be around your children because your are tearful is going to cause problems for everybody so you must try to conquer this.
I suggest you look at this as a series of steps which you have to take simultaneously, both to ease your own anxiety and because if you carry on in the way you describe, your whole family is going to be terribly disrupted. I always advocate that ladies should educate themselves regarding cancer as far as is possible so that when it comes to treatment they can work in partnership with their medical team. However, in your case I would advise you to abandon the research until you have any diagnosis. May I also suggest that you take comfort from the scans you already have which are rarely wrong. A physical examination is useful but is far more fallible than a scan. You have been given the all-clear which should surely be welcome? Pains all over your body are definitely a symptom of anxiety - please don’t talk yourself into cancer.
And as a last thought, even if you did have something wrong, it would have to be in its absolute infancy not to have been detected which means it would be easily treatable.
Bottom Line: You are almost certainly not suffering from cancer and can resume your life with your lovely family. Please think of them and and the distress you will be inflicting on them if you continue on this path.
I am sending all the positive thoughts I can because I don’t think its your time to join this particular club.
I’m so sorry to hear you’re so distressed. Your anxiety is completely to be expected when you have had a health scare like this, and I’m glad to hear that you were able to speak to one of our nurses yesterday and they helped. Please know that you can give our helpline a call as many times as you need to, as our nurses are always there to listen and answer any questions you have. I hope you are able to find some comfort in that and also in the responses from your fellow forum users.
