My dear @hasnae87, can you feel my virtual hug? You are having a really horrible time of it and the sooner you can start counselling, the better. You need to talk all this through and process it. They should be able to give you some coping tools. All the side effects from treatment can make you feel so grotty which doesn’t help when you are struggling mentally. Have you tried Someone Like Me? Here is the link - Someone Like Me | Breast Cancer Now
It would be good for you to have that extra support in place and there are always our wonderful Breast Cancer Now nurses on 0808 800 6000. Keep talking about it and if you can muster the energy then do go and meet with friends. You have us but it’s not the same as seeing people face to face.
@arty1 - Well…I feel the same. This journey without you girls doesn’t bear thinking about. @naughty_boob was first to come to my aid too. This group are a flipping phenomenal bunch.