Long walk is excellent idea @cass2 , it should help re-set all those stress hormones to something that feels better physically and mentally!!
Dogs- any breed you fall in love with, that will be straightforward to train and isn’t too high maintenance, house full of dog hair inevitable, mine moult once 365 days per year!
Anxiety - stay off the internet when you’re worried, the bad stuff will jump out at you. You are your own person, with your own history, fitness, mental attitude etc, you are not a statistic!
Do the stuff you can control, some good speaker events on BCN, very positive stuff you can use. Very good wishes!
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Hello, my dears
What a lovely weekend of camping topped off by our Lionesses winning the football. Feeling pretty jaded today but it was worth it!
@hasnae87 - Your husband is a disgrace. I wish that you could contact the other woman and warn her to be prepared to be abandoned in the most disgusting manner when she faces a tough time in life because he clearly doesn’t have the backbone or moral fibre to stick around. What does his mother think of it all? I would be horrified if my son behaved in this manner. I would like to think she is thoroughly ashamed of him. You deserve so much more than this. Great idea from @carrie5 to check out how you stand legally. Sending you love and strength.
@cass2 - I also watched and read stuff that kept sending me spiralling back at the start. I had to stop doing it because I realised that I was putting thoughts in my head that were doing me harm. This forum turned around my thoughts on many occasions and so I would advocate reading the whole thing from the start whenever you think you might google. There is so much good news on here. I also did what you are doing and went walking every day listening to Eckhart Tolle on my headphones. Remember all stats are out of date as it takes a few years for them to come up with them. Treatments get better all the time and recurrence might not happen for 30 years or more, if at all. My oncologist said that the stats for HER2+ breast cancer are very good. It’s a mental battle so read some of the stuff on here that is overwhelmingly positive to counter all the posts from the women who have had recurrence. I got another rescue Staffordshire Bull Terrier back in September and she is the most loving dog imaginable. She jumps into my arms and puts a paw each side of my head for a proper cuddle. I adore her. She fills me with endorphins so I would recommend an adorable Staffie. They are wonderful family dogs.
I have to go and rehearse this evening as I’ve been roped into singing for some talk on musicals next week. I could well do without it if I’m honest but it would appear that I am still rubbish at saying no, despite all my post-treatment intentions!!
Salbert
xx
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Has anyone else’s voice changed during all this?
Mine has dropped at least an octave. I’m not a singer but enjoyed a little daily kitchen karaoke and while I’v now got a bit of a raspy speaking voice I sadly don’t sing like Kim Carnes and her ilk.
Bit sad I can’t hold long notes anymore, I’m no Streisand but could hold a couple before (Three amigos theme song and Don’t rain on my parade). Ugh
Oh well, I’ll have to do without my Grammy 
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Has anyone swopped to Herceptin from Phesgo? My onc has suggested it as I am having diarrhea 3 times a day currently. What is the difference in effectiveness? Thanks
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Phesgo is made up of two targeted therapies, trastuzumab (herceptin) and pertuzumab.
I had 6 phesgo injections alongside my chemotherapy which is followed by 12 doses of 3 weekly herceptin so a total of 18 herceptin.
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@carrie5 I asked the nurses and I took the socks off yesterday and they give me green light to shower even I am bit scared as my incision keeps leaking from different sites and they say it’s normal, I am due another round of phesgo in two days, unfortunately my work contract is saisonal and it’s finishing soon and I have no saving or place to go so I am financially vulnerable and physically and mentally not ready yet😔.
@cass2 getting a dog is good idea for comforting I used to have a cat but she left one day for a walk and get lost never came back, I love walking especially near rivers or any lakes, we going through tough time in our brain is struggling managing all the ideas and thoughts, hopefully you will feel better.
@salbert no way he will tell his family before ahead, he said to me he will inform his mum when he is officially married, clear that they will never accept it and to not hear their harsh words, typical narcissist.
@sez sorry your voice dropped a note, i notice something weird that my tonsils shrunk even my twin was surprised when she take a look, SE of chemo are cruel but it’s pleasant to hear that you singing it’s good way to boost your energy.
@Linda_Corinne I am ongoing just phesgo for all the 18 rounds hope the other will help. Maybe ask for dosage reduction.
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@hasnae87 You wonderful positive lady.
I’m furious on your behalf about your husband’ s behaviour, but that doesn’t pay the bills. I hope his mother is at least on your side when she finds out.
You just don’t need this. Try and find out, before he skips the country, what pressure you can put on for financial support, McMillan service, Citizens advice, wherever, should be able to point you in the right direction. I don’t think you can trust anything your husband promises so he needs to be cornered legally as far as possible.
I do hope the treatment goes as well as it can this week and your wound settles down.
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I want to be petty and say you should tell his family if he’s trying to keep it secret, but that doesn’t help you if he behaves even worse in retaliation.
Definitely get in touch with citizens advice. You have rights and if he’s going to try to skip out on you and your son he needs to at the very least pay child support.
How is he hiding it if his mother lives with you (or you with her), is he lying to her face too?
Sorry, none of my business. I’ve had my share of friends marrying absolute creeps and seeing it coming from s long way off so it ticks me off whenever I hear about another one. I’m so sorry he’s left you so vulnerable (not just while you’re sick, I mean financially etc.). What an absolute jerk, again I wish you lived near me (I’ve gone nose to nose with some bad men when it comes to them trying to get away with all sorts, including violence, I’m stupidly confrontational with men like that) so I could give him a piece of my mind.
I got discharged from oncology (I think) today.
My oncologist was busy so I saw another doctor filling in for her, was supposed to be her, and she told me as everything is going so well they’re handing me over to the HER2 team exclusively so no more appointments with the oncologists, they said the bc nurses and surgeon are taking over. Not sure how I feel about it. I liked having a higher up consultant to sort out stuff when my GP was a bit crap (sending supportive letters to them etc.).
They’re referring me to peripheral neuropathy dept about my buzzy feet and writing a letter to my GP to reiterate how much I’m struggling with my sleep. I’m not holding my breath about the latter.
They also asked if I wanted therapy and I think at this stage it’d just cause more anxiety and stress. I get stressed before every appointment and adding more of them isn’t going to help. I’m open to it when I finish Kadcyla (if I’m going to crack I’d guess it’s more likely to happen then) but not at the moment.
Tried the two weeks recommended on pregabalin for my thigh nerve damage (the amitriptyline did literally nothing and pregabalin has been the same) so the begging the GP for a sleep aid starts again tomorrow. Ugh. I’m going to miss having an oncologist take me serious with stuff like that and give me meds over their heads when they’d rather play it cheap and risk free (at this stage playing it safe hasn’t worked).
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Deep breath - a lot to catch up on but I’ll do my best …
@sez I think we were more shocked than anything … it was a heck of a collision
@mrsjelly it’s heartbreaking isn’t it I’m so sorry you’ve experienced pregnancy loss too 
. It doesn’t matter how early … you make plans . You visualise a future and then it’s snatched away … she’s very upset and anxious that she won’t have another child
The car accident really shook us up … it’s caused )2000 pounds worth of damage to the car too … just what we didn’t need 
I was six weeks post surgery before having an echo … but this was pre chemo starting
@lindacorrine - I didn’t switch from herceptin but it’s definitely messed up my insides . Is there a difference with phesgo ?
@leelee1 - oh I swear I’ve stockpiled laxido since I started cancer treatment … honestly it’s either the surgery or the chemo that just grinds everything to a halt … I hope you are feeling a bit better since your laxido fest !
@hedgehog - welcome to our lovely hub x
I run my own business so went back to work two months after my last chemo while still having Herceptin … I’ve found it very hard and I’ve cleared my diary now for September . Health before wealth I’ve decided
@hoggie - what a lovely day celebrating your daughters graduation x I remember crying so much at my daughters which was 13 years ago now . You look gorgeous as does your beautiful daughter - you must be so proud
I think I’m going to have to do this in two posts ! There is so much I’ve missed in two weeks 
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@gromit12 - You never cease to amaze me … I’m getting off the sofa like a 90 year old and you are smashing all these runs !!
@pennyp what a fantastic experience to be there for your daughter during such an important time in her life … Congratulations!! Xx
@hasnae87 - I’ve read your updates in shock - I know there are cultural differences but this is disgusting! If nothing else he still supposed to be a good husband and he’s definitely not that … you need support right now and he’s treating you like this . I’m so sorry
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I’ve been caught up with work and events and then my own anxiety etc .
Then it woukd have been my dads 80th on the 24th … that was a hard day
Plus my body feels like it’s falling apart … I’ve got period number 3 since I had chemo which is draining me of iron and sciatica and plantar fasciitis… I feel 100!!
I had a friend to stay from Belgium and I was trying to be a good host and just ran myself into the ground … now I can barely move for the pain and fatigue … I went to the gp yesterday and had a little cry … I said I’m very grateful to be alive but I feel so rubbish … She said I’m probably overdoing it . All blood tests are ok although my inflammation levels are high which she said isn’t a surprise …
I’m taking my youngest daughter away tomorrow for a couple of days to Devon then I’m going to visit my mum next week …and to oversee some electrical stuff at our new house but I’m not lifting a finger there !
Just over a week ago I went to a fantasy /sci fi event at Sudeley castle near Cheltenham … I go every year and love it … last year I got my initial diagnosis the day after I went . I decided to make a wig look apocalypse style and went in the same get up as last year … it’s certainly been an apocalypse of a year !
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@sez Your voice will return. Mine is back to what it was before treatment. It wasn’t as strong during chemo but it’s fully recovered. I have to sing 5 solos for the WI next week (don’t ask…I’m no good at saying no, is what it boils down to) and at rehearsal last night it was absolutely fine which felt like a barrier smashed. That Grammy could still be yours! Sorry to hear that you are still struggling with your sleep. Can you harangue your GP about it? I know they are reticent to give out sleeping pills but I couldn’t have got through this without mine. Interesting that there is a HER2 team where you are. Makes sense though when you think how much longer our treatment path is.
@hasnae87 - Your husband sinks even lower in my estimation. He is so spineless that he expects you to keep his dirty secret for him because he can’t face telling his family! This is absolutely outrageous. Definitely find out where you stand legally and make sure you get everything you are due then kick him to the kerb. Never take him back. You will get through this dreadful time and look back and be able to pat yourself on the back for the strength you found within yourself to keep putting one foot in front of the other. I wish I could tell him what I think of him and that he doesn’t deserve you and your son to be in his life. I believe in karma and I think he will get his.
My darling @arty1 you look absolutely incredible!! What a brilliant look. You are so talented. I know it’s a crazy thing for me to say as I have absolutely no right to do so, but please start saying no to some people. You need time to get your strength back. I’m being strict about how much I book into my diary. Well…I’m trying, put it that way.
XX
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Well I was all ready to celebrate next week as a first without a hospital appointment in it in I can’t remember how long. Even before the cancer diagnosis I was dealing with all the admin after my husband died so there were no breaks.
Guess what? Radiotherapy cancelled today due to an equipment failure and other hospital messed up on a scan appointment by not bothering to tell me about it, so both now strayed into next week. Herceptin following week. Will I ever get that week off? End of whine! Sorry.
Love the outfit@arty and really do feel for everyone with the ups and downs of treatment, side effects, lack of sleep, scans, end of treatment. You’re right @arty1 we don’t finish, we live with it!
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I am new here and hopefully some of your journeys are over now:) I apologise if I chose the wrong thread it is all so overwhelming.I am at the very initial stagee of it all or shall I say the dreadful wait route…it is 3 weeks today since my diagnosis. I am Er positive pgr negative her positive, 5 mm size and clear lymphs, stage 1 grade 2.Had various biopsies which may change the plan ( still checking my calcifications).
My surgeon told me that herceptin is licensed in UK with chemo yet when I used Predict It shows me 0.7 to 1.4% benefits. My mum had triple plus breast cancer at 52 and she is a happy survivor. She said it is all due to Herceptin. I am 42.
Will they even consider giving me only HRT and the Herceptin or will chemo be compulsory? I already have some nerves issues within my hands and neck, I have Hashimoto and low protein S which is responsible for DVT and PE. I am just scared chemo will totally ground me with the extra conditions I have. But I would like to use the targeted her+ medicine. Reading this forum has been such a relief as it makes me feel I am not alone in this isolating creepy experience. Thank you x
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What a fabulous photo. I want you to make me up as a post apocalyptic survivor.
I currently look like a skinhead. I’ve ditched the wigs. My daughter said I look cool with my baggy jeans with big turn-ups and trendy trainers. Said I should keep a buzz cut. I think I just might. It’s so easy. Got caught in a shower last week. Dried my head in Next with a serviette I had in my handbag. Bloody marvellous 
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My dear @boobitis you have definitely not chosen the wrong thread, you have chosen EXACTLY THE RIGHT THREAD! It’s a horrible point you’re at and yes, it’s overwhelming and throws your life upside down. We all know and we all understand exactly how you are feeling. Clear lymph nodes is good news, as is the fact that it’s Stage 1. Herceptin is a game-changing wonder drug but it can only be given with chemo in the UK. Something we always say on here is that chemo isn’t nice but it’s doable. We all get through it and they can adjust your dose according to your reaction. There is lots they can do to mitigate side effects. We are all scared at the point you are at, but once you are on that treatment path you will feel your confidence returning. Please don’t Google. If you feel the need to know more then just start reading this thread and read all the good news as the internet is just awash with out of date, scary and incorrect info. Stick to this site, MacMillan and Cancer Research UK and only them. You’ve got this, you can do this and you will get through this. Your mum is testimony to that. We are here and we are holding your hand.
@carrie5 That’s a bit pants. Whine away. You’re absolutely entitled to. When we are just ticking off that next appointment and the one after that, any delays just totally suck. May I suggest axe-throwing for your next escapade? You could probably do with that right now.
@mrsjelly There is a lot to be said for having no hair to style. I’m still at the wash and go stage. Whack on a bit of curl creme to fight the frizz and I’m away. Have come to the conclusion this week that it wasn’t the years of bleaching that stripped me of having silky smooth locks. Turns out I was a natural frizzhead all along! The years of doing battle with hairdryers and straighteners are over. I am liberated! Bloody marvellous indeed. 
And now I have been told to watch The Cancer Killers on BBC iPlayer. I’ll get back to you on whether it’s worth a watch.
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@boobitis excellent advice from @salbert . Welcome to the thread although sorry you find yourself here.
I have put my whine into perspective now, its trivial really, just a reminder of all the times there have been delays for non clinical reasons. I could go sharpen the axe though…I was looking at whether I could find anyone local teaching percussion, something I always fancied, nice and noisy!
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Thanks so much @salbert. I know and that’s again what my mum says to me. I am only at that initial stage and I hope with the amazing courage of women on these forums it will be just so much easier. I relate to anyone who suffers with the waiting for the results/treatment plan/mammogram check - I think we women are usually so task oriented and those delays that are out of our control can be so frustrating. Yes, I try to stick to these 3 forums and usually give myself only some time for it as well. Daily life and my 8 year old who called my BC boobitis 
will hopefully continue to distract me. And once I know my treatment the ‘task’ will finally start. Hugs to all xxx
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First I’m learning that HER2 teams aren’t a universal thing. Mine usually calls the afternoon before my Kadcyla (Monday afternoon, my Kadcyla is always on a Tuesday), though the last couple of times they’ve just sent a text, after my blood test results come back (I always try to do my pre-kadcyla bloods in the morning to give them plenty of time to get back to svoid short notice cancellations or delays) usually to make sure no changes since my pre-kadcyla questionnaire (which I usually get the Saturday before). If I’ve put anything of concern on there they discuss that too. Hopefully now I’ve been discharged from my oncologist they’ll go back to phonecalls instead of texts.
The pharmacist from my HP surgery called this afternoon for a pregabalin update and when I told him it did nothing he said I was on a low dose and I can double my dose. He and the consultant I saw today both are trying to avoid sleeping tablets, kept talking about addiction, I just wanted to scream “but you’re happy to put me on control drugs, which also can be addictive!”
It’s infuriating but I’m trying not to stress, I’ll just end up having my migraines return and amazingly I’ve only managed to have less than a handful since diagnosis, which is unheard of for me. We’ll see if increasing my meds helps, he said I should notice a difference in a week if they’re going to be effective and if not I need a proper GP review.
I mentioned about the octave thing, not cos I’m devastated or anything but people keep commenting (who I’ve not spoken to in person for a while) that my voice is lower or ‘crusty’ or “do you have a sore throat?”
Was wondering if it’s a me thing or a normal side effect lots get. Certainly no one was lining up to hear me before (unlike you), in fact it’s one of the reasons I sent my cat to live with my parents. She’s very good at giving judgemental looks and I was worried it was stressing her (normally she would come sit in the kitchen during my karaoke sessions)
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No whine is too trivial (it still irritates me but I’m sure I went overboard when people kept calling me a hero ). Better to vent it here amongst those who get it than loved ones IRL who may not.
Percussion sounds good, hitting things is likely to be very therapeutic (it’s why I’m finding being in my local archery club waiting list so frustrating, I want to shoot some target boards).
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