Hi, 37, newly diagnosed grade 3, widowed, young kids - argh!

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Hi all, just wanted to say hello really… I’m not normally a great forum person, but I don’t really know many people in my situation, so would be nice to see who’s around. :o)

I was diagnosed on 2 March 2012 with a grade 3 breast cancer, think it’s a stage 2A, but lymph node biopsy showed no malignant cells. I started chemo last week, and it’s been a rough one. I’m on the FEC-T, now waiting for my hair to fall out. How does that happen btw? Clumps? Little bits? Slowly? My head’s been itching for days, but I had it cut real short before I started chemo (ie a couple of mm)…

The plan is chemo first to try and shrink it, then surgery, then radiotherapy, then hormones. Mine was Her neg, so no herceptine, but positive to oestrogen.

What else? Well, I was widowed in April 2009 when my children were only 11 months and 3, so they are now 3 and 6, and now I’ve been told I’ve got cancer. Great. I had just rebuilt my life, thank you very much! Grrrrr. I’m beginning to get my head around it slowly I think. I do have a lovely new partner, and, between us, we have 7 kids aged from 3 years to 16 years. He has stopped working for now to help me get better, so finances are going to be a nightmare, because, by living with a man, I lost my pension, widowed parent allowance and working tax credits - we moved together last October.

Right. Well, that’s my story - thanks for taking the time to read all of this.

Sending you all a big massive hug. xxx, E

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Hi Elke,

Big hugs to you xxxxx We have a started Chemo in March thread if you’d like to come and join us…there are some lovely people on there who give loads of support…we moan we laugh we cry…

Love KQ

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Hey Elke

Sorry you have had to join us here and Im devasted to lern at such a young age you were widowed. I but right now you are kind of thinking WTF???

I was diagnosed with a very similar pathology to yours in that it was HER - but ER +. I have today just had my 8th and final chemo, I also had FEC-T (x4 FEC and x4 TAX)

As for the hair, mine started approx 12 days after my first FEC. You just start to notice lots of little hairs here there and everywhere, on pillows, clothes etc, if you wash you hair you will notice it in the bath. Also my scalp started to become a bit painful, like it was bruised, then if I touched my hair it was like sharp pins were being pressed against my scalp - after about day 20, I just made the decision to shave it all off and went completely bald…best decision I ever made as the pain stopped in an instant. My hair just started to regrow after my 4th FEC, and continued to grow (albeit slowly) throughout TAX, but everyone is different, some people don’t have regrowth until all their chemo is over with.

I would suggest what Kitty says and get to know the girls who started Chemo in March thread, you become like a little family, keeping each other company online and sharing the highs and lows.

Keep your chin up…you WILL get through this.

Much love

Lisa

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Thank you KQ and Lisa, will check it out. And thanks for the hair info - I’m day 9 after first FEC, and my scalp is driving me crazy! Might be time for the clippers I bought last week… Sigh.

xxx

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Hi Elke,

I just wanted to say hi and send you a (((hug)))!

I’m 44, no kids but i had similar pathology to you too. When I read your story I could relate to it although my OH was the widower. He lost his wife 4 years ago (she was my best friend), we married last June & I was diagnosed in July - great timing not!! My active treatment is now over and we are starting to build our life back again!

The advice from Kitty & Libralady is spot on, the girls here are so supportive & helped me so much throughout treatment. All I would say is my head got very sore when my hair was about to leave - it was such a relief to have it shaved!!

Take care & good luck with your journey

Axx

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Evening elke.

Just wanted to say hello. I’ve joined the march chemotherapy group and
they’re lovely and very supportive. i understand how you are mostly feeling im 29 and have two children. 7 years and 17 months. its a toughy chick. I had a lumpectomy in Feb as mri and other test showed i was a stage 1 but in 2 weeks it took on a life of its own and jumped to a stage 3. Its non hormone responsive so they’re trying to find other triggers for it. Have may second dose of fec tomorrow. Still have my hair although its starting to fall out a bit know, my daughter is looking forward to playing hair dresser again to shave it off. she was really upset at the thought of me having no hair so I’ve let her cut it short and its helped.

If you ever want to chat just let me know.

Hugs and sweet dreams x x x

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Forgot to say have to go for more surgery after chemotherapy and have a full mx. x x

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Hi Elke and welcome to the BCC forums

I can see that you have had lots of support since you posted and in addition our helpliners are here 9-5 weekdays and 9-2 Saturdays on 0808 800 6000, they can offer you lots of information, support and a listening ear.

I am posting a couple of links to the BCC ‘Newly diagnosed’ and ‘Younger women’ pages where you will find other support ideas from BCC and sources of information:

breastcancercare.org.uk/diagnosis

breastcancercare.org.uk/younger-women

Take care
Lucy

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Hi Elke,

I am so sorry to read your post. I feel for you having been in a very similar situation, although my family are in their teens and I am over ten years older than you. I am glad you have support of a caring man and I hope you will also have a good medical team to see you through this.
I wish you all the very best. This is a great forum and I am sure you will find lots of help and support here.

Best wishes,
Verity xx

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Hi

Like you, my OH and I have 7 kids between us and 20 grandkids! That’s what you have to look forward to!

Dx 4 years ago and absolutely scared stiff. Had chemo (wanted to just run away from the first) but here we are, 4 years on and enjoying life.

I was so worried about losing my hair, but got a great wig, which I loved. Wore the wig for months and now it sits on the top of my wardrobe.

It’s scary at first but you will get thro’ it.

Mal