Hello all,
I’m rather hoping that a little ‘vent’ on here will put into place my current worries.
I was diagnosed back in 2003 - had WLE rads tamoxifen and then arimidex. All finished by 2010.
I have had yearly mammograms with no issues.
So I confess to feeling absolutely gutted by the arrival of the letter on monday saying I need further xrays etc to look at the slight density issue in one of my breasts. It felt like such a powerful ‘punch’ to the stomach I thought I would be sick. This was the first year I had not gone into meltdown just before the mammogram and I was in fact feeling very confidant that all is well.
I have had occasional trips to the breast care centre with concerns where I have been treated with professionalism and respect and have come away reassured that all is okay.
I do not know which breast is involved - which is good as I can’t spend the next 12 days poking and prodding! - but that does make me feel completely out of control!
I have to wait until the 13th to be seen but it is in a one stop clinic and I have the xrays and consultant appointments booked so although I would like to try to make it earlier I probably won;t get the ‘full package’ so will force myself to wait.
I have a strong feeling of deja vu as the dates are all being repeated - the 13th of March was my surgery date.
I know I can do this again if I have to but frankly I don’t want to - seen it, done it, got the bloody t-shirt!
I didn’t find this site at the time of my diagnosis (I’m feeling stronger already voicing this I only thought ‘first time’ fleetingly!) but I wish I had - everyone is so kind and helpful and above all understanding - the waiting is hell!
Thanks for reading if you got this far!
Kathy xx
Hi Kathy and glad you’ve found us, just wish you didn’t have a reason to. Hopefully your visit will just be fleeting for this round, but of course you’re already a fully paid-up member from 2003’s treatment. And while you’re in The Waiting Room feel free to use the forums as much as you find helpful. The helpline’s also brilliant so do give them a ring, even if you don’t have anything specific to ask. They are great at listening.
I would cross my fingers for you but then I wouldn’t be able to type, so I’ll just cross my ankles and send you my best wishes for 13th. I look forward to reading that everything’s fine and they were just being thorough.
CM
x
What a nightmare for you…
The waiting really is the pits isn’t it?
Great that you wrote all your feelings down and I know we can all empathise (sp!) with your reaction.
Such a b***er!
Hopefully the 13th will bring about soothing news but in the meantime it really does awaken all those memories from 2003…
Tight hug to you to help you through this journey.
Welsh girl x
Hi,
Thank you ChoccieMuffin and Welsh Girl for your posts.
Feeling particularly vulnerable today - March 4th was my diagnosis day in 2003 - it was also pancake day - really don’t like pancakes at all anymore!
I’m sure I’m the same as everyone - I weave between hugely up (don’t be silly Kathy you can remember the consultant saying at five years he didn’t expect to see me again!) and mega down (how am I going to tell the kids - again - will OH and I survive it all over again!).
I’m someone that talks, strongly believing that if you want support from people they have to know why they are supporting you - so far the people I have told about my worries have been great and I know they will be there which ever way the 13th goes. I want to try just being up all the time but I know that OH didn’t allow himself to think the worst last time and it was a massive shock for him. I had allowed the word cancer to flit across my brain so I was at least a tiny bit prepared that it may be my diagnosis.
Again thanks for the support
Kathy xx
Hi
I went through something similar. I was called back after 6 years to re-do a mammogram and have an ultrasound to investigate an ‘architectural distortion’. I googled this and the only explanation I could find was cancer. However it was just one of those mammogram image glitches, turned out to be nothing.
I think I felt worse before the recall than I ever had during my earlier treatment. I will keep my fingers crossed for you that you have a similarly happy ending to this.
all the best
Sarah
Hi all,
Been a long day but I am now reassured and happy to say I won’t be joining you all!!
I attended clinic today was re x-rayed (got over the shock that it was the opposite side to my previous BC) and then had to wait for quite a while to see the doctor. Have to say the wait was horrendous - multitude of scenarios going through mine and OH’s minds. Whole situation felt like a repeat of my diagnosis in 2003 - until the doctor called us in with something of a smile! It seems that the ‘lump’ was squished by the extra compression x-ray and the only thing to see on ultrasound was one ‘inflammed’ milk duct.
I found it hugely reassuring that they appear to so carefully compare the mammograms and they call you back for the smallest difference - I would have to have a permanent seat in the breast care centre if I relied on self examination - they are always so lumpy!!!
Best wishes to all on your journeys and thank you for the support you have given.
Love Kathy xxxx
Kathy that is brilliant news What a relief.Only came on tonight but so very pleased that you got a great result.Go celebrate. J xx
I’m thrilled for you Kathy.
Big hugs
Stella x