Hi, new on here and petrified! Needing advice

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Hi, was diagnosed with fibrous mass tissue 2007, again in 2013 after mammogram told the same and treated the discomfort and pain accordingly.

July this year, noticed the slight change in shape with a dimple and creasing in said breast. Experiencing a lot of discomfort and tenderness Terrified  I saw my dr who sent off an emergency referral, which was through in 10 days… After hours at hospital, mammogram, ultra sound and needle tests I saw consultant (who was escorted by a breast nurse and I knew things looked bad!). My husband and I were shocked to the core when she said I needed core biopsy (which I had last Wednesday) through the tears I heard her say, 2 cm suspicious area… Don’t think it’s in lymph, mentioned lumpectomy then said was unlikely due to the pulling crease and then said the word that I really broke down to… Mastectomy! 

I am sooooo scared! I’ve great support from hubby (though he’s hiding his worries well for my sake). My husband has just been posted a four hours drive away, though they’re understanding and I’m lucky that he can come back whenever I need him.

I’m 49, have two grown up kids, (my son lives near the hospital I have to travel to in Aberdeen and my daughter us about to go to Uni, in Aberdeen) who we’ve told about the suspicious area but not about treatments mentioned yet, only that waiting for results of biopsy. 

I’m going to work, smiling, being ‘normal’ getting on with things and my close colleagues, who I’ve spoken to,  keep saying how well I’m coping but once home behind my door I break my heart at the thought of what I’m going to be told! I’m in denial in work.

I’ve got nervous fluttering what feels like my heart but told its nervous stomach and a lump I can’t get rid of in my throat when I swallow! 

Ive read some threads which have given me hope and know there are many many worse off than me…

waiting for the consultation appointment is awful, part of me hopes its on mat when home then I’m relieved it’s not! 

Any advice on what I should be asking when I meet with the consultants (told I’d see a few next visit, from surgeon, consultant, reconstruction and nurses?!) will be greatly appreciated. 

I can’t bare the thought if losing my breast, terrified of hospitals! 

Please help me get a grip of this! 

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Hi Tandy, sorry that you find yourself in our little club, but you’ll get loads of support here.

 

I had lumpectomy rather than mastectomy, but I’m sure there will be other ladies along who can offer you specific advice re that and reconstruction etc. its a terrible shock to find yourself in this position isn’t it, all I can really say is that the waiting is the worst part, and that once you know exactly what you’re dealing with and can get on with dealing with it you will gradually come to terms and feel better that things are moving along.

 

Keep posting, and best of luck x

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Hi Tandy, sorry to hear of your worry and probable diagnosis. It is such a shock when you are first told but if it does come to a mx it isn’t the end of the world . I was diagnosed Jan with DCIS in two patches of left breast too far apart to do lumpectomy so needed mastectomy, but in a way I was relieved that the decision was taken from me as I felt that if the whole breast was gone there was less chance of them missing some! Initially I thought I didn’t want reconstruction but then they said they didn’t think there was lymph node involvement so I could have immediate reconstruction. I explored all the options and my husband came with me to all the appointments and we decided on immediate reconstruction using an implant and a mesh to support it so the whole thing is done at the time of the mastectomy. Waking up after the op and seeing you are not flat is a huge relief ! Now 6 months later it still twinges at times but it’s a really good shape although a bit perkier than my natural one! (I’m 51). It looks fine in a bra though and I even wore a bikini on holiday! 

Make sure you ask them about all the options and take your time making a decision, at the moment it feels unbearable but you will get the strength to face it, keep in touch on here and good luck. Xx