Hi I was diagnosed with IDC grade 3 in March I’m 38yrs old. I’ve had a round mammoplasty where tumour was 38mm instead of 21mm and had macro mets in one SN micro mets in one SN and one sn negative. I’ve had Ct scan and bone scan (awaiting results) and then on to chemotherapy, ANC and radiotherapy. I feel like everytime I go it gets worse xx

Hi Laura

I’m so sorry you find yourself in this situation. It really turns your life upside down but, believe me, it is all manageable. Get rid of those stereotypes off TV and learn what it’s really like - a disease most women recover from.

I’m afraid your diagnosis may continue to change with each test and scan. It may feel like it gets worse every time but it’s not worse, it’s different. They are collecting as much data as possible because each cancer is unique and each treatment programme is tailored to the individual. They need to get it right. That’s why there is such a gap between surgery and chemo, tho the maximum gap is 90 days.

While you’re waiting, focus on building up your resilience. You are going to need it. Mindfulness, yoga, walking, running; for me it was YouTube videos by Progressive Prognosis. I still use their meditations 3 years on. Half of the struggle is emotional, in my opinion. Manage your fear and the rest can be plain-sailing. This means staying off Google and saving questions for those who know. It also means asking yourself how much you want/need to know to get through. Some people examine every detain forensically to feel they are in charge of their condition. Others, like me, choose to play ostrich, knowing only the basics and trusting their team to get it right. There is no correct course. It’s what suits you. As is how you express yourself: you may choose to become one of the Warrior brigade, you may choose to keep your head down. Just never ever think that you are being weak because you are experiencing negative emotions. Trust yourself and you’ll be ok.

I wish you all the best. It’s not easy but it is all doable - as the thousands of women who visit these forums prove. Take care,

Jan x