My SIL is being moved into a hospice next Monday. My brother does not talk about it. Generally, how long does a person that has breast cancer and admitted to a hospice expected to live for?
I’m visiting her tomorrow and then fly off somewhere. She might not be there when I get back. I’m lost for words tomorrow. What sort of things do/can I say? When I leave and say bye this is probably the only time in my life that it’s going to be true. So, so, so depressing!
Dear Jimbo
Please feel free to call our helpline for further support on 0808 800 6000, our helpliners can offer you a listening ear at this difficult time, the line is open today 9-2 and weekdays 9-5.
Take care
Lucy
Hi jimbo
I’m sure your sister-in-law will be pleased for you to visit her (as will your brother), whatever reason she is in the hospice – for pain control, respite care or end-of-life care & support. She might want to talk about how she’s feeling, but she might not – you’ll just have to be guided by her while you’re there. You all might cry – that’s not a terrible thing – and of course, you’ll want to tell her how much you love and care about her. Hospice staff and volunteers will be there to talk to you if you have any questions or worries, and also might give you some thoughts about what to say – they treat & care for people in a holistic way, not just dealing with “illness”, and recognise the emotional challenges of dealing with dying.
I hope this helps you in this difficult time for you and your loved ones.
Marilyn x
Hi Jimbo
I’m sorry that your SIL has got to this point and moved into a hospice. Unfortunately I don’t know the answers to your questions and I hope someone will be along later to help. The only knowledge I have gained has been from previous posters on here and some of them went into hospices for a while for pain relief and then came home again but I’m not sure if this is the case for your SIL? Just wishing that she is made comfortable and you are able to spend some time with her, I’m sure that will mean a lot, you just being there for her.
Nicky
ps, I see that Marilyn has just posted at the same time with a much better worded response.
Hi everyone,
Thank you very much for all the great support. Unfortunately, my SIL passed away last Monday. I was on holiday and although I changed my flight to come back earlier on Tuesday I missed it by one day. My 3 year old nephew has been asking about mummy. Any advice what to say? The funeral is this Friday and he will see his mum.
Many thanks
I am so sorry for your loss. It is so hard isn’t it?
I can’t offer any advice but I do know that there are organisations out there to help children with bereavement; they’ll have the relevant experience. Without googling, I don’t have any contact details. I’m sure someone from BCC or another poster will know who they are.
It’s a dreadful time for you all. How lovely that you’ve taken the trouble to find advice to try to do the best thing. What a fab sis-in-law.
Sorry to read your news.
winstonswish.org.uk/foryoungpeople/default.asp?section=000100010001§ionTitle=Young+People
These people, Winston’s wish, are well known for helping young people cope with bereavement, not sure what age range they start at but might be worth an email to them?
Ali
There is a lovely book called ‘No matter What’ by Debbi Gliori-it is for his age group and is about how love endures even after death.The last line is “Love, like starlight, never dies”.It is about a baby hare asking ‘what if…’ would he still be loved.
All my sympathies to you and your family
Valx
Deepest sympathies to you and your family.
I am involved with my local hospice on an outpatient basis. My husband has been there once. They have left the door open for me to introduce my children when I feel they and I are both ready for it. It is such a lovely, happy and friendly place. I hope that the hospice that your sisterinlaw was at was too.
Take care of yourselves at this very difficult time.
Snoogle
x