11 weeks ago I had a masectomey the reconstruction is with mesh and implant…I am still going back and for to hospitality to do with reconstruction.
I am Single ( young 50) I went on a date,Yes a date had a lovely time and we have arranged to go out again…
It’s early days, I do like him he makes me smile
Problem is when do I tell him I have one fake breast.
I know he could run to the hill when I tell him ( he might not!! Fingers crossed )
Please help
Dear Dawn
I am sorry that you havent had a reply yet, i feel sure that it wont be long now. In the meantime please do give our support line a call. 0808 800 6000
Best wishes
Anna
Digital Community Officer
Hi Dawn
I’m glad someone such as myself i.e. single, has posted this thread. I’m slightly different to you in that I’m a 56 yr old gay female, with a double mastectomy of 8 and 9 yrs ago - am part way through a very long delayed recon,.but am going to be faced with the same dilemma. I’ve been meaning to post a similar thread on the gay/lesbian area, but haven’t yet got myself round to it.
Tough one isn’t it - I can understand that you don’t want to put him off too soon and you’re both still feeling your way around each other mentally(I hasten to add) at this point . Do you be upfront soon on and “put it out there” so to speak, and give him some kind of early warning. Or hold off, wait until you know each other better, resist any early temptations that may arise and by that perhaps better aiding you to judge and feel you may have a favourable response. Easier for him that you’ve had recon tho’ rather than not - far less of a shock and more comfortable for you, like me, being a single woman. I’ve not had a relationship since my 2nd mast in 2007 - it completely smashed my confidence to even attempt dating, all down to body image issues. I’d wanted immediate recon with both my masts, knowing that it would have a major negative impact on me relationship wise. Just very sad and VERY frustrating that it’s taken me 8 yrs to then be in a position to be able to embark on recon. I feel I have lost some of my prime years.
I was chatting on another thread in the last couple of days to a lady in our age group, who’d recently met a guy and it was going like runny honey (don’t know where that similarity came from) - they’d fallen in love and he loved her body too. Can’t remember if she had or hadn’t had recon and I can’t for the life of me remeber which post/ thread it was on now. But I’ll have a look and if I find her I’ll give you her name as a contact link cos’ she would be good for you to chat to. OK ?
Glad you seem to have done so well with your surgery and treatment lovey
Delly xx
Hi again Dawn
I’ve found her and she’s on this same section - thread is "The Remaining breast in the Bedroom.
Her name is Needles and yes, she is as you, a single mast with recon. Her post was dated 1. 03. 2015 so you may be better to send her a private email rather than place a post on the thread. She may be too busy enjoying her happy relationship to do much posting !! I hope that’s the reason.
Let us know how you go on
Delly xx
Thank you delly for your replies it was very kind.
I wish you all the best with your reconstruction
I would get out there and start meeting people, know it’s difficult when your confidence is low…
If we don’t give ourselves a kick up the bum! lol
We won’t know who we will meet
Good a luck xxx
Hi Dawn, I’m hoping since you posted your thread that you may have already sorted out your issue to tell/not to tell but if you haven’t here’s what I’ve experienced.
I am now 10 weeks post double mastectomy with implant recon and 55 and recently separated early this year before my diagnosis in May so you can imagine where my confidence was … on the floor!! But I met a guy a few weeks back at a local gig, we went on a date last week and it went really well. Whilst talking about what we did for work I said that I’d been off for a while due to illness then found myself telling him in very brief terms at first about my surgery etc. then when I said that I’d thought about whether I would say anything on the first date he said well if this was going to turn into a relationship then he would have found out eventually anyway then thanked me for being open enough to say and he felt honoured that I was able to share such an intimate issue with him so early on.
A second date has been arranged for next week, I feel that the ice is well and truly broken and my confidence has elevated so even if this goes nowhere I wouldn’t hesitate to tell someone else and if they are put off by it then they’re not worth the time of day.
Take care Suzie xx. ps we danced on the first night we met and the verdict was he couldn’t tell any different even with my new boobs still being very hard haha
Wey Hey Suzie,
ALL my sentiments exactly. So in fact, it’s best to get it out in the OPEN right at the start, because as you so rightly said and echoed my own thoughts, if they’re not interested to know about it from the beginning, better to get it out of the way so you then know to have to “take it on the chin”, but move on to the next.
I must say, makes a huge difference to me having a couple of mounds up front again, even tho’ they’re false and still only partly done!! Feel like a new woman already. Just need to get myself back to getting the rest of procedures done after a lapse.
We’ve come into contact elsewhere recently, on “The Night Birds” thread?? Are you pleased with your results from surgery ??
How goes it with you Dawn ?? Am hoping your absence is due to your lovelife/new romance having taken off and you’ve been busy and pleasantly occupied/distracted ??!!
Love to everyone, Dellydoodaa xx