A few hours by the sea was very healing after a complex text message this morning. I just wanted to pop on to see how everyone is doing?
I’m better every day. I’m nearly back to full mobility, but also cautious as I haven’t been seen since the week after my surgery.
I did think of one thing that would have helped after surgery.
A white stick, that visually impaired people have temporarily so people didn’t get too close when out or not move out of the way… but I choose today to be a positive day with the fresh air and Harry’s new song in my ears… he’s my birthday twin…
Ina sure nerves will kick in later this week, but until then I have so many moments to live without worry before then.
5 Likes
I’m so glad that you had a healing day by the sea. That looks perfect. I’ve been thinking of you and hoping for some peaceful respite for you in amidst everything you are going through at the moment.
I’ve got my first appointment with the surgeon tomorrow to get the results of the MRI and hopefully a treatment plan. However I am torturing myself at the moment with Google and with the worry that I will be one of the 30-40% of people with lobular cancer that need further biopsies after the MRI and then upstaging. Given the gp originally estimated the size of the lump at 50mm and that lobular doesn’t usually form lumps until the later stages I’m trying to plan for the worst, although I don’t think that’s very sensible. It’s certainly not conducive to sleep!
2 Likes
Hi @al1kat
I know it is so difficult waiting for appointments and our brain trying to protect us from the worst case scenario. However we never deal with anything quite like we plan.
So you are going to be the 60-70% that gets the better news.
I read something I’d like to share and hope it helps, even if a smidgen. I didn’t go looking for this information. It found me, so I think it did so so I can share.
Statistics are facts based on outcomes. You are not an outcome, you are still in the process. You are not a statistic.
I think it’s supposed to mean, your story or however you like to view this part of what you are going through in your unique life. You are still living it. Which we know is pretty ( would swear but won’t) awful ( very British) .
So you are not a statistical number. If you could by 30-40% so even more so and more importantly so you could have over 70% chance that you aren’t and they are pretty good… I’d bet on a horse with those odds. I don’t bet 
Take your time, be kind to you.
I did enjoy my day and I wrote Duane a poem, which I would be happy to share. I’ve had many of his friends contact me. We went out yesterday to town, my husband and I and two grown up kids - seems strange they are both in their 20’s. We never all go to town together for various reasons. We go to town in nearby places together but not our town. Anyway… at one point I looked at them and I was walking behind them and it was so bizarre and strange and wonderful all rolled up into one just split second of a moment.
Let us know how you get on tomorrow and give that head a wobble and reset it’s sending love hen x
1 Like
Thank you so much - it’s so kind of you to take the time to reply, despite everything you have going on. That is a different way to look at it. I’m trying to get my head round it (and silence the negative voice on my shoulder saying ah but…).
Separately I would love to read your poem about Duane, and I am so glad his friends are reaching out to you.
Hugs to you too. The one good thing about all of this is how supportive this community is!
1 Like
Helping is who I am, or one of the elements and trying to spin things into if not a positive light a better way of looking at things.
We are all born to have a negative mind due to needing it for survival from our cave man days. So it is natural- but, it takes time and patience to train it. Then it kind of comes second nature. So don’t be hard on yourself. Like anything you are learning it takes time and consistency.
Skyline
I’ll be the sky
You be the sea
And I’ll meet you at the skyline as far as the eye can see
On the horizon is where you will forever be.
I will be the wind
You be the salt spray
We will whip up a storm together squally and loud
Raging waves and gentle drops that land
I will be the moon
You be the sunset
I will turn the sky alight with stars
You will shine in amazing colours to the world before you rest for the northern hemisphere
To say hello, to your friends in the southern hemisphere.
To say hello and bask them in the warmth of a brand new day
I will be the sky and you can be the sea. I will meet you at the skyline, as far as the eye can see.
n the horizon is
where you will forever be.
From my TikTok post where I posted the video of the waves…
I wanted
to see you today, so I went to the beach, to gaze across the ocean to where our hearts would meet. Mine as the sky and you as the sea.
Forever united in the skyline as far as the eye could see. It calmed the storm inside me to watch the waves crash over the rocks. To know that they were being battered by natures choice. I thanked you for the salt spray from the sea that mingled with my tears. I smiled into the sunshine to feel your warmth and when the sun began to set and the array of colours you chose to show me, my heart wasn’t as heavy and I’II come and meet you again.
5 Likes
Oh @hen That made me cry, but in a good way. It’s absolutely lovely.
1 Like
Thank you. I’m going to print his favourite photo of us and the last one, which he actually wanted an updated version of his favourite. Some photos he sent of the sunset and the poem…
2 Likes
Made me cry as well . Just beautiful @hen . A wonderful tribute xx
1 Like
Awww , sorry 
- thank you. 
1 Like
1 Like
Hi @JoanneN just wondering how your doing as we get closer to results day ?
I’m between the 3- 4 weeks now so will ring on Friday if I haven’t heard anything x.
2 Likes
@al1kat thinking of you today.
@butterflywing thank you, I will type and print it.
Let me know how you get on. How are you feeling?
@JoanneN when are your results due?
Mine are due Thursday.
I phoned yesterday to see if I could get them, but was told by the nurse they wouldn’t have them until Thursday. Which I found strange, cause when I phoned just so they knew about Duane. I felt it important to add to my notes.
The nurse I spoke to then said, my results weren’t in ??? I assume they have different policies between the nurses and some will give them and some won’t.
I just wanted to know so I had time to process anything before sharing it with my daughter and son.
When I came home on Sunday from lunch out with husband and the kids. I said I was going for a rest do not disturb me… unless urgent. About two hours later my daughter asked if I had had enough rest. ( I hadn’t, but you know being a mum) so I said yes. She came in and said - she had booked to go sky diving! 
I just laughed, why not! So shes raising money for Cancer. Partly because her and her dad loved going on the big rides at Alton Towers etc and now he can’t. So this was something she is doing. She amazes me! My son just went no, when she asked him. He doesn’t do heights…
1 Like
Your daughter is amazing although I have to say I’m with your son and don’t do heights 
.
I’m doing ok thanks , have healed well & doing all the things I did before the op apart from heavy lifting, I’m leaving that up to the hubby as he’s got out of housework earlier than we expected 
.
My results should be due anytime now , I’m 3 weeks post surgery and was told I’d get a call 3- 4 weeks with an appointment date so I’m jumping everytime my phone goes ! If I haven’t heard anything by Monday I’ll call them . I’m hoping they will tell me on the phone so I can process it before my appointment.
Hope all goes well at your appointment 
.
Sending love 
1 Like
Thank you @hen I’m sitting in the waiting room now trying not to panic and summon up the courage to deal with whatever it is (since there really isn’t any choice can’t exactly package it up and return to the sender…)
2 Likes
Hope all goes well today, thinking of you xx
Hi @butterflywing and @hen
Unlike yourselves I’m not awaiting any results as I finished active treatment over 3 years ago . I don’t post as much now but I still read and felt moved to reply to @hen as I have experienced a few bereavements over the last few years
I remember what the wait for results was like though - any extra wait piles on the stress . I would say if you haven’t heard anything by the date you were told then it’s worth ringing up but extra delays don’t necessarily mean bad news either . Keeping my fingers crossed for all of you. Xx
1 Like
Thanks all. I really must learn not to panic. MRI was completely clear apart from the one small tumour we knew about which surgeon described as small and eminently curable, so going to have a lumpectomy in the next few weeks and 2 sentinel lymph nodes removed for checking.
Other area that was biopsied is a calcified cyst (though I forgot to ask if he was going to remove it anyway.) .After that it will be back to waiting for results.
Surgeon was quite cross about the length of time everything is taking, and in particular says his heart sinks when a biopsy shows its lobular, not for the reasons I was panicking about, but because he says he knows how long it takes to get even an urgent MRI done, and the waiting is hell on the nerves for the patients.
3 Likes
This is wonderful news @al1kat Onwards and upwards you go!
1 Like
Fabulous news @al1kat so pleased for you ! xx
1 Like
@al1kat such good news! You must be so relived. Thanks for letting us know 