I’m new to this site and would be grateful if anyone out there with similar diagnosis and who can tell me how they are coping.
I have just had the results back from a masectomy (I was diagnosed with breast cancer 4 weeks ago) and been told that I have got grade 3 cancer with positive sentinel node and 1 other node positive out of 5. I have to wait a further 3 weeks to have the rest of the nodes cleared and then start chemo and rad sometime after. Also a question mark over another lump I’ve found in the remaining tissue of the removed breast, which will also be removed in 3 weeks time.
I feel very scared and very alone with this, I can’t think of any positive outcomes. I am 35 with a toddler. My husband is very supportive but he is scared too. I can only see things in the bleakest terms and wonder if because I can’t see a happy ending then there really won’t be one.
Has anyone out there understand how I’m feeling and know how I can move forward?
I am so sorry to hear of your dx. All what you are feeling is normal…you are allowed to feel this way and its such early days for you still. I was dx in Jan with a grade3 and I had mastectomy and axillary clearance in Feb. I have 2 kiddies, a 6yr old and 18mnth old.My tumour was 26mm and I had 2 positive nodes out of 13 taken.
Of course it is scary but it won’t always be that way. Its the waiting game and many other factors.
You will move forward but you need some support. the girls on here are brillaint and you will see people who are finishing treatment, going through chemo and so on.
I think once you know exactly what is what and your treatment plan it feels better. Only in as far as you know whats happening. The emotions go up and down. I cried loads to begin with and now I don’t cry quite so much.
They say you go through a grieving process…anger, sadness, etc etc.
It will get better…honestly. There are plenty of us here to help you as much as we can. We have all been there.
When I was dx I was told about a support group which has really helped me.Has your breast care nurse told you anything along those lines in your area?
If you feel you need to talk to someone in confidence about your fears and concerns, please give the helpline a call, the staff here are all either breast care nurses or people who have personal experience of breast care issues and are abble to offer you advice and help or just a ‘listening ear’ The number to call is 0808 800 6000 the lines open Monday to Friday 9am - 5pm and Saturdays 9am - 2pm.
What you are feeling is completely normal, and its still early days yet. I am 35 and was diagnosed last year grade 3, but no lymph nodes involved. I have had some very dark lonely days, and then some days something will happen and you think no matter what happens to me everything will be alright regarding your children.
It isnt easy at our age and i keep telling myself im going to have the biggest party for my 50th, because when i was first diagnosed one of my first thoughts was i wouldnt be here for it. Maybe you should look up an organisation called homestart, a volunteer would come and help, chat and support you with your toddler. you can refer yourself and im sure you might benefit from this in future weeks! its just a sugguestion
remember you are allowed to feel how you are feeling at any time, and if you cry then let it all come out
Big Hug
Anna
It just takes time. Over four years ago I was diagnosed with 8/19 positive lymph nodes and my prospects really seemed bleak (even my oncologist was not terribly optimistic). My son was just six months old and someone made the mistake of letting it slip that I was not expected to see my son go off to school, which was heart breaking. Well, the cancer hasn’t shown any sign of coming back yet and it is a type that tends to come back sooner than later. Most of the time now I don’t think about cancer that much. In fact, one of the few reasons I come back every now and again is to provide encouragement. So, there is reason for hope, but it takes time.
I am also newly diagnosed, only 2 weeks ago, and had surgery last Weds. It is a bewildering whole new world, and no matter what people tell you and think, it is still us who has to come to terms with what is happening to us. I’m 39 with 2 toddlers (4 and 2). I don’t yet know what grade etc and the waiting is hard, but from reeading other people’s posts it seems that there will be lots more waiting to endure along the way. Still, it’s sunny and I can enjoy this time with my kids. Hope you can too.
Hiya
Im 35 and was diagnosed in Feb, had masectomy and clearance and was in 1 of 18 and not herceptin postiive (think thats right - I dont need it), I thought my results were better than expected so was upset when the oncologist said it was a poor prognosis but then said with all my treatment up to 80% survial over ten years - all too much at moment. all I can say to you is that although I have my bleak days (specially at mo as chemo starts on Wed) I have had my up days and spent lots of time with family and friends who all say Im being psotivie but sometimes I think Im just kidding myself that Im nopt ill.
So so scared of the chemo and just hope I can keep to some normality when it happens - its all very scary but some days seem cheeful - especially when the weather is nice
keep in touch
xxx
hi…sorry to hear you news…i’m 28 and was dx when i was 22 in 2002 with grade 3…i had a recurrence of my cancer in 2005…i also have a 2 & 1/2 yrs old daughter and currently undergoing chemo for lungs and liver mets … and on zometa…as it has also spread to my bones…i’m working as a pharmacist and going to work in between chemos…i know you can get through this just take one step at a time…it’s ok to be sad but don’t keep it bottled up…i think talking to someone helps a lot…alhamdulillah (thank god) i have my husband to talk to…i belive everything that happens to us have a reason …in due time you’lll see…there’s always a silver lining don’t worry…good luck and be happy…chemo is going to be a bit tough fo a first timer …even i’m abit down when undergoing treatment…but i know you’ll get through it…
Izzati your attitude is much like mine, but you are/have been through so much more and it’s great to see you still have a positive attitude!
Lisa i’m Lauren, 25yrs with 2 kiddies 3 & 11 months and was dx with invasive ductal & also some dcis with 9 of 14 lymph nodes involved 3 wks ago. Have had a mastectomy and start chemo on tuesday! Radiotherapy, maybe herceptin and tablets to follow after…
As i was just saying in another post, this shit is put on us for a reason.Very unfair that anyone has to go through this…But i won’t stop smiling without on hell of a fight first. I refuse to let this beat me, my kids don’t deserve to see me down…They’ve been through enough already. I was reading in a magazine about a 2 yr old who had cancer & chemo and kept smiling so i refuse to feel sorry for myself.
Keep smiling hun, we’ve all got to stay strong to make our recovery easier.
Lots of love
xxxx
Thanks Lauren
Well at least its Friday Im planning on one hell of a weekend as my chemo starts on Wednesday - long time coming but its very scary but Im determined not to let it beat me.
Good luck for Tuesday
xxx
Im not too bad thanks - its a roller coaster though, upset today with oncologist report, just get sto you seeing things in black and white but gonna have to try and just deal with one thing at a time!
Glad you xrays clear - I havent been offered any.
Have a lovely weekend and hope you are doing as well as can be!
I am another one with grade 3, 2 lymph nodes affected but that was four years ago and since my treatment (which was a lot more doable than I had imagined) I have been fine. There are also others on this board who are grade 3 survivors, so I hope this encourages you.
