How do I handle the diagnosis?

Hi everyone,


My mom (age 50) was diagnosed (for the first time) with breast cancer about 4 weeks ago. Originally, the doctor told us that it was stage 2. However, a recent PET scan revealed 2 cancerous spots on her lungs. I am in complete shock. I am devastated, and I honestly don’t know how to deal with this diagnosis. My mom is my best friend and my rock. She is the most important person in the world to me. I’m 23 years old and my little sister is only 17. I’m trying to be strong for both my mom and my sister, but I feel like my whole world is falling apart (I’m a complete mess). I’m trying to remain positive, but it’s so hard… The statistics for stage 4 cancer are scary… I don’t know what I would do without my mom. Please help! Any experience supporting and caring for a very special loved one? as well as coping/adjusting to this new diagnosis?

Hi believer_1,

I’m so sorry to hear about your Mum’s diagnosis, you’re doing the right thing by reaching out and thinking about how to support you and your sister.

We have some information on our website about supporting a loved one with breast cancer, I hope this might be useful:

It also sounds as though you’re posting form the states, so you might also be interested in this information too:

Take care of yourself and we’ll be thinking of you and your family.

Becca at Breast Cancer Care.

I can’t can’t help on the info side of things but didn’t want to read and not reply
Sending you massive hugs xx

Hi Believer_1


Im so sorry you are facing this with your mum, it’s a really scary time. I was 35 when my mum was diagnosed with BC 16 years ago and it’s an awful shock to learn they are not invincible.


The first thing is not to Google and look at statistics, they are too vague and no two people with the same diagnosis will necessarily have the same outcome. We have ladies with secondary cancer in their lungs on this forum who are still going strong 10 + years on so please don’t think anything is going to happen to your mum right now. 


There will be a treatment plan put in place for your mum and she will be well looked after, they have an abundance of tricks up their sleeves in the medical world to treat BC with new things coming along all the time, more and more ladies are living with secondaries for many many years now. 


Sadly my mum did die 5 years from her diagnosis but her circumstances were different, she hid it for so long and never gave herself a chance although when we first found out inspite of the size of her tumour she had no secondary spread, that happened 3 years later. I’m not trying to scare you and you mustn’t believe this will happen to your mum too, it was a long time ago and today she most likely would still be here with the advances in treatments. 


Every diagnosis is individual so you can’t compare, just take things a day at a time and trust the team looking after your mum, we are always around here to chat and answer any questions you have. Xx Jo 


Thank you for the replies and support. My mom has been put on a treatment plan, and I’m starting to adjust. I must admit that this is the hardest thing that I’ve ever gone through (and it isn’t even really happening to me). We MUST find a cure for this horrible disease.



My name is Becky. My mom, who is 64 years old, was treated for stage 2 breast cancer over a year ago. I just found out that she has developed secondary cancer in the bones. The doctors have said they are going to start radiation treatments in a week. They also encouraged us with claims that people in this situtation can live for a long time. 


I am still stunned, but I am trying to be strong for her. My understanding is that this is a quality of life scenario, as there is no actual cure.

My Mum was diagnosed with breast cancer in 2016 and it had spread to her lymph nodes in her armpit too. She had to have a mastectomy and opted for reconstruction. She had to have chemotherapy 6 sessions and managed 5/6 as made her so so ill. And then had 3 weeks of daily radiotherapy - finished treatment June 2017 and was fine until Sept this year when she was diagnosed with melanoma on her left cheek had that removed and a shadow showed up in her C.T scan after biopsies revealed breast cancer had returned and also revealed there was fluid in her lung. Biopsies showed the cancer had spread to her chest cavity the pluera. So now Mum is terminally ill and she is on a chemo drug called Palbociclib to hopefully stop the growth of the cancer. It won’t remove it but hopefully will stop it multiplying. I am more than happy to chat to you and share any experiences with you. I do race for life and raise money for cancer research every year and all I can hope is we can help find a cure and stop this nasty disease affecting our loved ones. Spend as much time with your Mum as you can and create many happy memories. Tell her how much you love her. My Mum’s oncologist have said there are so many things coming out to help with breast cancer and he thinks her prognosis is good. Although my Mum is terminally ill and won’t ever be cancer free now she could still go on to live how many years. X