Please can you help my sister has just been told she has breast cancer, she is waiting for biopsy results wednesday to see what stage she is at and if the lump in her armpit is also cancerous. I dont know what to do to support her! I listen when she needs to talk and am there for her when she needs to cry but i feel so hopeless and dont know what to do to make things better for her!
Everything is just so difficult at the moment and i dont know how to make her feel better. Has anyone got any advice??
Hi PEPPERPOT74 and welcome to the BCC forums
In addition to the support and advcie you will soon have from your fellow users, please feel free to call our helpline on 0808 800 6000, lines are open 9-5 weekdays and 10-2 Saturday and our team are here to support both you and your Sister
You may find the following information pack useful to look through with her, it contains information about breast cancer diagnosis and also futher support ideas from BCC:
Take care
Lucy
Hi Pepperpot74,
You are already doing all the right things. Nothing you can really do, apart from listen. and that’s an enormous help. Don’t forget these forums are here to help you as well as your sister.
hugs,
Margaret X
Hi Pepperpot74
As Maragaret says, you are already doing the right things. My fiancé felt the same as you but I told him that all I need is a gentle ear, a hug when I need it and a shoulder to cry on. Sometimes he just holds me and we say nothing. It is a comfort to me knowing that he’s ‘just there’.
Take cate
Martha xx
Hi Pepperpot
I felt very lucky to have a sister when I was diagnosed. She is one of the few people I never had to pretend with and I felt that she was by my side when I was staring at some very scary stuff. I could tell her how scared I was, and what I was scared of and she helped me by telling people about my diagnosis when I just couldn’t face it, including preparing the ground to tell my mum. We have laughed together and cried together, and she flew to England to take care of me when chemotherapy made me poorly and my husband needed a break.
It sounds to me like you are doing everything you can at the moment, as Margaret says. There will also be practical things you can do as your sister finds out more about her condition and treatment plan, like offering to accompany her to hospital appointments, doing bits of housework for her (if you live near), and just making sure she knows you are there for her. Everyone is different - I had to get used to allowing her to take care of me, as I am the big sister and it has always been the other way round - and I often found it hard to ask for the help I needed.
It sounds to me like you will do as good a job as my sister did for me and as Margaret says, don’t forget to come here for support if you need it.
Louis xx
Hi Pepperpot,Having been inthe position of my best friend having BC, I personally feel it is harder to know someone close with it, rather than being the person suffering from BC. I have 4 sisters and they havebeen just like you,giving great support at any time I need it. Like Luise three of my sisters live abroad but are waiting for my call if I need any help and they will come. Knowing that gives me great comfort, also great comfort for my husband and children. I also have 3 brothers who have become like mother hens and doing all they can to help. Your doing a great job, talk to your sister and I sure she will return your wonderful compassion.
Philomena x
Pepperpot
I can go someway to know how you are feeling . My mum was daignosed 6 weeks ago and has justvstarted chemotherapy. I find that the practical support is just as important as the emotional and it gives me and mum an excuse to see each other often. I read this firum and get loads of tips and advice that i note down and pass on to mum . If someone says it helps to eat pineapple jelly i buy her pinezpple jelly and when i drop it off it gives us chance to touch base . Obviously our sister is in early days but i csnt tell you how/much the practucal stuff has helped us both so much . Mum knows im there for her and i feel so mu h better knowing im helping . I helped her with annabandana the other day and took her to get her wig but whikst we did that we also did nirmal stuff like we always do such as going to costa. Just be there , do any illness stuff she might need help with but also do this xtuff you always do.
Read all the positive stuff on here and then when yiu do know what hervdiagnosis is you can tell her all the good xtuff.
Take care . There is some fab help znd advice on april angels as im sure there is on loads of other forums if she ends up needing chemo or other treatment .
Sorry for all the typing errors but i am tyoing this on my tablet and i have fat fingers !!!
Keely x
Pepperpot
you are doing all the rights things for your sister. I was dx 9 weeks since and my elder sister has been with me to all my appointments and been my ears and mind at remembering what i have been told at these appointments. Also both my sisters stayed with me after my mx and are again staying with me after my surgery today to remove the rest of my lymph nodes. I know it is a worrying time for you as all as your sister but just be there when she needs a hugs, a rant or just to talk. She will never forget the love and support you have given her at this difficult time, as I know I will never forget what my sisters have done for me.
xx
Pepperpot you are doing the right things already.
when I Was diagnosed my sister was the first person i told. She gave up entire life for
me and moved her entire family to help me. sisters are wonderful you can be yourself when you are
together, there is no putting on a brave face. You can just be there for her .