hi how do you all cope girls with the waiting ?i feel really low today im waiting for nurse to ring me to tell me when my first chemo will start,part of me wants to get on with it and part of me wants to run away!!
was given a voucher for a wig yesterday that brings it home to me that i really will be losing my hair,im having it cut tomorrow so hope that makes me feel bit better.iv bought myself a nice pink folder and some jell pens and iv started to write it all down from the first day i found the lump all my feelings,fears and tears are being poured into that book,im not doing ti for others to read its just for me to get it all of my chest.iv also been on the look good feel better website and ordered a dvd and book it shows you loads of tips on how to draw your eyebrows back on,loads of tips and advice so im ready for action!but i dont want to be! i know some of you are going through much more than me,(iv read some of the threads)and i sorry if im moaning about nothing really but im terrifed of what chemo is going to do to me and how it will change me.yes i know its gona keep me alive and i have 6 beautiful grandchildren to fight this for ,lov lynne
Don’t feel like I am coping at all Lynne, just putting one foot in front of the other. Today is a better day than yesterday however, partly due to the ‘glass half full’ thread- have a look there!
I too am waiting for my first chemo, but I have a date, next Wednesday. I put it off from last week as I wasn’t ready, but now I wish I hadn’t, I just want to get it over with, the waiting and the not knowing is terrible.
You will have better days I am sure
X
Rusty
Hi Lynne
Great idea about writing all your feelings down. Also posting here you will find many woman in the same position as yourself or at different stages who can offer advice and support. This is a wonderful site and I’m sure you will find it a great help.
Waiting is the worse - it always feels better when you have a plan of action and know what you are doing. As we say on the forum chemo is doable - you will get through it and the time will pass quickly. Most areas offer a Look Good Feel Better course - check out their webside. They give you a lovely bag of expensive products and a session with other women in the same situation about how to apply make up etc- eyebrows etc. It is good fun and the products are lovely!!
You certainly sound like you are getting organised for your chemo and remember you are allowed to moan!!! This is a horrid disease, it is scary and you are allowed to be frightened - we have all been there and know how you feel, we all have our up and down days. I do hope you feel better soon when you know what is happening. Lucky you 6 beautiful grandchildren I’m sure they will keep you going and help get you through.
Lots of love Anne x x
Hi Lynne, So sorry you feel so low. I just want to reiterate what my lovely friend Anne has said above. The waiting is the hardest part, but once you get a plan of action and the chemo starts it’ll begin to be better. Chemo is an awful thing to face for the first time, but you will get through it and once your body adjusts to it, it won’t be so bad honestly. As Anne says, the ‘Look Good, Feel Good’ sessions are great fun and very enjoyable and you get a lovely bag of goodies to bring away at the end.
I have 11 grandchildren, but unfortunately they all live some distance away, you’ll have yours nearby hopefully and that will help you through. You’ll get great help on here from the lovely women. Take good care of yourself and remember you are allowed to moan if you feel like it. This disease is cruel and frightening, but you’re not alone when you can come on here and rant as much as you like.
Sending you lots of love and hugs, Dianne x x x
Hi Lynn,
I am waiting to know when my first chemo will start too. I feel that I am in limbo cos I really want to plan stuff to look forward to but have been warned by the oncologist last Thursday that my state of being will depend on 3 week cycles and to plan nice outings etc more on week 3. I really want to book a nice girly weekend away and trips to Liverpool and Manchester etc shopping but can’t do anything till I get my schedule and am finding this really frustrating.
PM me if you likeso we can be scared together, as it sounds that our dates may be coinciding- either that or we will be very near each other!
Take care XXX
Sallyann
Hi Lynne
Welcome to this amazing community of amazing people. I had my first chemo on 22nd July. There have been some really awful moments for me so far in this journey but I have to say that the waiting is one of the worst. I was contacted on a Monday by the lovely nurses and my treatment began that week on the thursday!!! I had to have a blood test on tuesday picc line insertion wednesday and rocket fuel thursday! Didn’t really have time to think but I remember as soon as I put the phone down my stomach churned and I just felt very very nervous and slightly panicky. My stomach churned for the next three days - barely slept. I just didn’t know what to expect even though I had read every possible thing I could. On the morning of my first treatment I was terrified. My wonderful fiance came with me. I was holding it together until I got to the unit and my fiance had to leave me for a few seconds to visit the toilet. Then I just broke down. the nurses were just amazing. Calmed me down - my oncologist was there too that day and she gave me a big hug and also calmed me down. I was talked through the whole process but to be honest none of it went in, I just wanted to get on with it. I have to say though actually having the drugs is the easiest part of this whole nightmare. I was so busy chatting to the nurse it was over before I knew it. If they offer you anti sickness drugs take them. I had a 5 day regime of anti sickness and I did not feel sick once. I did react to one of the drugs but that is now changed. As for the hair loss - you think you are prepared for it but believe me nothing can prepare you for the feelings you have when it falls out. This Sunday just gone about 40% of my hair just fell out. It was heartbreaking for both myself and my fiance. I felt like someone had just died. Still feeling quiet emotional about it but I am taking the control back over by visiting my hairdresser tomorrow to get my once very long thick and lovely blonde hair cut - not having it shaved just cannot do that. But am going short! Again my fiance is coming with me. If you have someone to be with you at your first treatment then I highly recommend you take them.
I hope you get your dates soon. Once the first treatment is over and you know how you are going to feel then your life can begin again. You can plan things and get organised. Good luck with your treatment. Stay in touch on here, it’s good to know how everyone is getting on. These forums are just priceless - no-one else knows how you are really feeling other than those going through it themselves. Take care xx
Hello Lynne,
I started my chemo in December last year and finished in March, the whole experience is daunting from day one and everything happened so quickly I feel like I didn’t have the time to breathe. Luckily I had amazing support from my fiancé, family and friends I couldn’t do it without them. I was quite unlucky with my chemo and didn’t react as well as I thought, I suffered sickness and nausea for 6/7 days after each treatment, which meant no eating, and extremely weak and frail. In my good days I did acupuncture which helped immensely with my sickness and reflexology which helped with my blood count. I lost my hair 2 weeks after my first treatment but I was having such a tough time with the chemo it took my mind of having no hair. If you are based in London there is a charity called breast haven in Fulham and they played a huge part in my recovery it’s absolute bliss. Good luck with your treatment and stay strong. Anj. xx
It is really daugnting at the begining and to be honest I felt exactly the same - how would I cope with it all.?
Chemo itself is no walk in the park but its ok. the cycles are spread out and everyone is different re side effects - they only last for the first week or so and then the 2nd part of the cycle you do start to feel better and get back to ‘normal’ before it starts again - I built in days out/weekends away/ treats into my schedule - it does give you something to focus on thats positive and gives you something to look forward to on the days when you feel a bit cr@ppy.
I have lost my hair, eyelashes and eybrows and coped well I think. The hair loss was the worst - and as it distressing when it starts to fall out and follow you everywhere! Once its gone its not that bad - I have a decent wig that is ok (ish) and I am wear it out and about - around the house hats/scarves serve the purpose - and its soo quick in the shower.
I have become an expert on eye make up and now use eyeliner quite well it definies my eyes and makes me feel good. I have a eyebrow pencil which fills in my eyebrows they are under my fringe anyhow so no one really can see them (partiularly when they are not quite straight!).
I have just finihsed my 6th Cycle of chemo (hopefully my last) and about to start Radiotheropy (another journey…) but I have got through chemo, I am still here and looking forward to the future and the ‘new’ normal. Its funny but you do get that inner strength and determination - there are days that I have felt down and days I have felt unwell - but in the main I have been ok.
I have worked full time throughout (with support from a good boss - working from home some days) and also gone out for meals, walks etc with family and friends so life has gone on…
I am sure you will find your own path and have no problems coping with it - good luck xxx
Hi,
I agree with the comments made already.
My own personal journey started in Nov with ops and then chemo Jan to May. Yes it was hard and at times I felt I couldn’t keep doing it but now it is done and I have had rads and 2 further ops since.
My hair fell out around day 15 and I thought it would be really difficult as had very long but hardly wore my wig, just bandanas, and I was nowhere near as hard as I thought it would be. Now have an inch of grey fuzz but hey it’s mine !!
One thing that I would have done very differently looking back is very much around accepting help and not trying to be super woman !! I found it very hard to admit I was finding it hard and as a result keep being told how brave I was/am when actually could have done with a helping hand.
Take care
K x
oops.
forgot to say the support on this site has helped me so much. We are truly special ladies and will beat it.
K x
thank you for all your lovely words,its good to know we arent alone in all this.iv just had a tooth out this morning and tonight iv got to go have my coil out i wont know which bit to hold!!! just get all over in one day my hubby says.iv also just had my call from unit i have to go for look around next thurs and if all ok start treatment following monday.its just sinking in going to try av a cuppa now with still bleeeding mouth!,i love reading your replys so dont stop many many thanks Lynne xx
Hi Lynne, Just wanted to check in and see how you are doing. Hope your mouth is better today and that you are feeling ok. You sound a lot brighter in yourself thank goodness. (It will pass, honestly)
Bird, just been reading your post about your lovely hair. I went to see a wig specialist before I started the chemo. I didn’t get one at that time but I went with my friend and we had a great time trying all the different styles and colours. I did choose one and the lady in the shop said I could have it immediately once my hair started to fall. In the end, I didn’t lose it so I didn’t have to get a wig, but it was better to be prepared, so it might be an idea for you to make an appointment and go along and choose something you like. There are some fab ones nowadays. I did lose my eyelashes though and drew black lines along the top of my eyelids. At the weekends I wore false ones (the oldest teenager in town!!) I hope this helps a little bit.
To everyone else, I hope you are all feeling well today and that you all have a happy and painfree (and worry free) weekend.
Lots of love, Dianne x x x
hi im ok today thank you my mouths healing fine,i went along to see wig lady yesterday with my daughter and her 2 little boys,we had a giggle because lady said she would have to put me a stocking on my head first to hold my hair down,i could see the 2 boys behind me through the mirror giggling it was so funny,i found 2 really nice wigs,i sent my hubby a pic on the phone and he said he thought it was my real hair,they are amazing and have some lovely styles.i know you may think im getting it to early but if iv got one before i can try wearing around the house as i go along and maybe it wont be too big change when i have to wear it all the time.lady also said be very careful when wearing a wig if you open the oven door because it could whoosh out and frizz it all up!more giggles and smirks.sorry but looking for the positive everyday and laughter is good for the soul.have a good weekend and i hope you find something to make you smile everyday xx
Hi weightwatcher
What a lovely post and you are so right we have to laugh and see the funny side of things. You sound as if you are getting well prepared and I’m glad you found a nice wig. Great that your boys went with you and you had a good giggle. I have a small head and my wig made me look like I had big hair!! I only ever wore it with a cap on top to keep it down and just wore scarves most of the time. Some of the ladies at the hospital had lovely wigs so obviously didn’t get them where I did!! Hope your mouth has healed up and you have a lovely weekend. You are so right - keep smiling and laughing.
Lots of love Anne x x
Hi Weightwatcher, Glad to see you sound a lot brighter now. I knew you’d enjoy going to the ‘wig shop’. It’s fun isn’t it? Good idea to get used to wearing the wig around the house. Some of them are just fabulous aren’t they?
Hope everyone else is well today and that you are all having a good weekend, especially Anne (above) who’s away for the first time in her new caravan.
Lots of love to you all, Dianne x x x
Hi everyone
I haven’t started my treatment yet and the last two weeks have been an emotional rollercoaster from initial diagnosis to being told I will need chemo before surgey. But my friends have been brilliant and we’ve managed to have a laugh about impending hair loss. I’m terrified inside but its good that my friends and I can joke about something so serious. When i told my son (who is 15) that I would lose all my body hair he said “Well look on the bright side, at least you’ll lose your moustache!” Its humour like this that will no doubt keep me going through the dark days ahead and I’m determined to keep smiling if I can.
Love and smiles to everyone
Debs
X
Buzzy… your sons comment about losing your moustache made me laugh so much!!.. it made me go look in the mirror, I never realised I’d lost the hair off my top lip!! lol… I also never realised that you lose the hair from up your nose too, until I suffered from a constant dripping nose during my chemo treatment!!
Your upbeat attitude to your diagnoses is going to help you through your treatment, and I wish you luck.
Take care, hugs… xx
the funny thing is I don’t even have a moustache! Well maybe the odd stray chin hair that we all get when we’re over 40! Don’t we?!
As for the nose hair. I never thought of that until I read it the other day so I’ve stocked up on tissues in readiness for that one!
… let me add that the “hair on my top lip” was only the fine facial hair and not a thick black fuzzy thing going on!!! LOL
Buzzy,
your son’s comments made me think of my kids when I was losing my hair.I had it cut quite short and my daughter told me I looked like Anne Robinson but then son replied “no she looks like a butch lesbian”.With kids like that we can get through it.
My hair is now growing back and is about an inch long although very white and grey. Though probably was before but it was dyed !!!
My son has a very dry sense of humour and has come out with many wicked comments over the past 9 months but I know he loves me too bits. Proven just a few days ago with a birthday card that had me in tears.
Support from friends and family is so important to help us through the dark days and I have been blessed with both.
K x