How do you cope with those panic moments?

Hope you enjoy your massage when you go Sandra. Lots of love to you.

Keep well tooxxxxxx


You have been a great support.

Have you thought about contacting the Penny Brohn Cancer Centre in Bristol. (Helpline 0845 123 2310. They provide complementary care - it really is a good place to get support and advice. They really do care.

Glad to know you are brighter.

Love Dotty2xx

Sandra, I didn’t lnow you felt wobbly, you are always so wise & supportive of us all, it’s easy to assume you are handling it all & taking it in your stride. I should know better & will try to be more thoughtful.
As for the panic, oh I do know you feel, & the tears. I know you just had your first chemo a week past Friday, I think I cried for days after mine, so you have done very well; but try not to be so hard on yourself, it’s normal to feel scared & panicky (I really can’t spell that word), & totally natural to cry. I see you often writing that you feel bad if you complain, thinking that others have gone through much more, but I met loads of people in various hospital waiting rooms, who, judging from their stories I would say had gone through more than me, but do you know what, I DIDN’T CARE !
That may sound the most selfish thing you’ve ever heard, but it is the honest truth about how I felt.
I tried hard at the start to be ‘up’ & cheerful for my kids, especially my very emotional middle one, but quite soon after first chemo I had to tell them that temporarily they would have to support each other, & not look to me for support, as I didn’t have it to give & couldn’t be worrying about them,& in fact needed them to support me, & I must say they have been fantastic, without molly-coddling me at all.
It’s not my place to say, Sandra, but must your husband work such long hours ? I feel you could do with more of his company, not to mention practical care, & after all, one thing this horrible experience teaches us is that life is short - time spent together can be so precious. Also I know your family are grown & have their own lives & responsibilities, but could they possibly take on any of the care of Granny ? I don’t want to alarm you at all, but you are likely to get more tired & less able as chemo goes on (don’t worry, it’s temporary, honest).
I really hope the wobble has passed, but just try to accept there will be times like these, but they will pass & you will get through them. Don’t fight it, & just know it’s not forever.

Great to see you back msmolly, I wondered where you’d got to.

Dear Diwy, I loved your post to Sandra…spoken from the heart and so true. I don’t think you were being selfish about the other patients. You need all the energy you can just to deal with your own problems. As for your children I am sure they repect your honesty and the wisdom you had to tell them just how it is. Don’t know where Sandra is tonight. Hope she will pop by later. take care. Love Val

Hi Ladies, Watching and Reading Val! Yes Divvy always makes me smile, straight and to the point! and without malice! Enjoy your holiday xxx

Tina,Thank you for your support, if l feel down my laptop is the first thing l pick up! the forums give me a lot of support. Speaking to ladies with bc, l think out of 5 not one knew or would use the forum, thought it too morbid! l did explain how it worked, but they were not sure, l said give it a try! xxx

Jayne, Think my back is well and truly ready for a massage!
Lots of love and hugs to you xxx

Dotty Thank you for the information, we do have a walk in centre where l live, and hopefully will be having a massage there xxx

Divvy,There is no reason you should know l had a wobble! there is no need for you to be more thoughtful! our emails are for a chat and not too much moaning! and that l enjoy.
I think probably the chemo, and knowing the hair is about to fall! all too much for this old girl! But l am fine now.

Yes l always feel guilty for moaning! l remember the bcn when l had my first op, she said ‘l will try and get you in on an earlier appointment’ oh l said l don’t want to jump in front of others! she said “yes you do, never mind about others” just how l am! and it doesn’t make you selfish for being how you are, we are all different!

Difficult with my husband, he has his own shop (fishmongers) so he goes to market 5 days a week at 4am, and gets home about 8pm! he does very long hours, we have spoken about closing the shop, trouble is you still need money, he is 66 now, so we have our pensions, but they are not like a wage! I am sure we will close the shop sooner that we had intended!

My sons and daughters in law do look after their grandmother, as much as they can, but they do work, so it is difficult, my daughter in law goes and changes her bed and bits each week, so they are helpful, trouble is l am the one she wants, if hospital or doctors or shopping, just wont go with anyone else! at that stubbon age, when she would sooner cancel than go with anyone else! bless her!

Hugs to all
Sandra xxx