How do you get people to understand how you feel?

Hi…I am hoping you lovely ladies can give me some advice. I’m 3 years post mastectomy. Taking tamoxifen. In 2017 had ovaries and tubes removed and was diagnosed with Osteoporosis. Just before Christmas found another lump which turned out to be a swollen lymp node. Yeah! But then started having problems with my shoulder, doctor thinks it might be rotator cuff tear/injury. Just waiting for ultrasound. The stress waiting for results takes it toll! I mainly get on with life, don’t really talk about side effects I just cope with them. Living life the best I can, but sometimes I have to give in. Anyway my problem is a friend is having a meal out. I declined as I suffer with fatigue. I explained that I struggle after 7pm, have heartburn so avoid eating big meals and late at night. That’s without all the other side effects I put up with. She is now being short with me and I’ve upset her. I did try to explain but i dont think people really understand. They think you are just making excuses. If it had been a lunch I would’ve gone and just had something light. I am now thinking I should force myself to go and then I think if she was a true friend she wouldn’t mind. Just wondered if any other ladies have been in the same situation?..xx

Poppy

 

Hello and welcome.  It is so difficult to get some people to appreciate how life changing this is and coupled with your other health conditions it does not help, especially as there are no obvious outward signs of what you are going through, especially when people think you look well!!

 

May be give your friend a call and tell how gutted you are that you can not join in with her dinner but that you would love to have a lunch out with her. It is difficult for people to really understand fatigue unless they have experienced it themselves, which is not something you would want anyone to have.

 

Sending you loads of understanding hugs

 

Helena xxx