“I have had some testy exchanges with my surgeon, who doesn’t appreciate my asking the easier questions eg about scarring, and I really know what you mean about being treated like a grown-up. I haven’t been spoken to like that since I left primary school!”
That is what I read just now. I am the same. I want to be treated as an adult but it’s like there’s a view of us as having to be told on a need to know basis. And that it’s far too complicated for us ladies to understand.
I was first diagnosed with breast cancer in 2003. Some things haven’t changed. I am not a lady. I was shocked that the surgeons were by and large male. The nurses were all female. A male who wanted to be a midwife claimed sex discrimination, his claim was upheld, but he still got nothing for it. I asked to see a male counsellor. That was seen as really weird but I got one. I had no idea he would be reporting back to the surgeon and oncologist on why I wasn’t cooperating. I only found out recently when I got my medical notes from 2003 which took five months to arrive after my request went in. Better late than never.
Yes I am still an adult. And they still would prefer us to do what we’re told. In the old days they would make you sign a declaration to agree to have a mastectomy before they put you under anaesthetic. They would then test the lump for cancer and perform surgery there and then. I think that was because they knew women didn’t want to have mastectomies. Then women in the USA rebelled and they started doing breast conservation surgery and radiotherapy for small tumours in outer quadrants. So it was worth making a fuss.
What I am trying to say is they think we won’t take the treatment if we are fully informed and they think they are helping us by keeping us in the dark. Well that’s the most charitable way I can think of it…